For so much of your life you have tried to edit yourself for the sake of others so that others would feel comfortable around you and you've done it for so long, but now you no longer feel comfortable with yourself.
Everyone else was always the deciding factor in what you put on, or how you act, before even considering yourself everyone else was the priority. Maybe people will think this looks bad, or think that "oh he's got a lot of money", or people say you dont have a lot of style, everybody's thoughts have come before your own.
We are always caught up by what is trending or what people flow with and "why should you follow the trend?"Let your style be timeless and unique.
Sometimes we treat our emotions poorly, our personalities and how everyone thinks about us and we think we would make others uncomfortable by being ourselves.
You'd have to help yourself before trying to help others and if you try to curb yourself all the time it's fine. It's fine if you dont go along with people, the people who would love you will do so.
Be kind to yourself
You're okay with being unkind to others because you're okay with being unkind to yourself and on the other side you're okay with other people being unkind to you because you're okay with being unkind to yourself.
A moment back I had a very simple thought come to me that I caught, the battle I feel when it comes to gaining control of my emotions and ultimately having more control over my life and what I do often times is I just let my brain do whatever instead of having to self work and become a better person, and a more desirable person for myself.
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Before I talk about being desirable for other people, desiring to be around yourself is just working on catching your thoughts and feelings.
The thought I had was very simple I was walking out of a mall and I missed my exit, the first thing I say to myself is "Idiot" with a loud growl. Leading up to that moment for a few weeks I had really being focused on being more aware of my thoughts and being gracious and gentle with my self and it occured to me that in the simplest moments something as small as missing an exit somehow warranted me calling my self an Idiot and insulting myself.
Well most of you would say it's not much of a big deal, and you do that all the time but to put it in context of two different scenarios,
First scene; if I where to be walking out of that same mall with a friend and I miss the exit and they looked at me and called me an 'idiot' the first thing I'm thinking is that "I shouldn't have missed that exit fine but I dont think you have to call me that" its normal because people miss exits all the time I dont think my intelligence needs to be questioned and I dont need that kind of friend.
Second scene; I'm walking with a friend and he is leading me out the mall and they miss the exit I'll never call my friend an idiot for missing an exit, I will just tell him he missed and that'd be all.
It actually showed how quick I was to insult myself, to belittle myself over something so small meanwhile I wouldn't do that to anybody how much more for much more meaningful mistakes that I make in life.
If you are one of those people that are quick to curse themselves over small mistakes then you know that you're just more ruthless with yourself when it comes to larger issues in your life.
Certain mistakes in your relationship, career, in faith and all other things you know you've messed up on, your first response is to shame and guilt yourself. "How's that working out for you?"
Sometimes it's okay to be hard on yourself, well you do love to be perfect all the time, but you're really ignorant. For instance when you talk to a child and you dont motivate that child and rather you curse everyday we know that is bad, and you know the outcome.
Sometimes we can have high standards and expect greater things and still be kind to our selves, and still be our favourite self, and still show a little affection to ourselves. We can still demand greatness, diligence, growth, and a better person and still be kind and understanding to ourselves.
Motivate your self all the time, and discover new things to show more affection to your self and understand that there are consequences and effects of not doing such. In addition, eat what you desire, put on what you love, whatever you are drawn to, please go for it and if you love it why not.
Thank you for your time.
|21 July 2021|
I have learned so much on this article. I just realized that if I'm not kind to myself how can I be kind to others? If I do not love myself, how can I give love to others? Everything should start within us first.