Who cares for Christmas trees after Christmas?
It was nearly dawn and I craved for burgers with egg and cheese which weren’t available in our barrio. It was a rare craving. However, the 24/7 burgershop was situated at about 15.5 kilometers away from my house. It was far, yet my id was very hard to tame. So, I hurriedly stopped reading the novel my friend recommended me to read for I had no other choice but to drive my motorbike to buy for some burgers. Eager as I was that time, I reached the said shop safely and slaked the craving I had.
After eating, I didn’t return home immediately. I walked a few steps, sat on a bleacher and got the novel inside my satchel to continue reading. The sky was clear and I could actually count the stars that night. It was silent aside from the occasional howl of dogs and the sound of distant motorists. Everything around me presented a perfect picture of serenity. I was about to read when my eyes were glued to a big christmas tree standing in front of the municipal hall. It was all alone in that area with lonely lights in it. The lights it glared were very much different from the time when people rushed under it to take selfies or group pictures and from the time I had a picture of it during the christmas eve. I stared on that big christmas tree and I really felt its unheard voice—it was lugubrious. I felt pity for it.
***“ WHO CARES FOR CHRISTMAS TREES AFTER CHRISTMAS?”*** It was weird. I got too emotional. I was affected and why did I even care for that christmas tree? To divert my attention, I went back to the flipped page of the novel. I read few lines but the question still bothered me. It flooded my mind. And I thought, I got too emotional since the christmas tree was so me that dawn. Alas. I sighed. I took a deep breath.
Somehow, the tortured nerves of my mind asked, ***“WHO HAVE EVER REALLY CARED FOR ME AFTER THAT HISTORICAL BREAK UP?”*** I couldn’t even answer that simple question. I realized that I hadn’t moved on. There was a wave of a familiar sadness that tinged me. I thought that I had tucked it away in an unknown corner of my heart, from where, it would never emerge again. But that christmas tree rose the desolation again into my consciousness, filling my mind with a flurry of emotions.
With moist eyes, I looked at the flipped page of the novel I read. I felt a twitching pain. I struggled to hold my tears as Colleen Mccullough said in that novel, ***“FOR THE BEST IS ONLY BOUGHT AT THE COST OF GREAT PAIN.”***
________________________
Thank you for reading dear friends❤❤❤ There would come a time when we were reminded by the things in the past... No matter how we try to bury them in forgetfulness, still, there would be that scenario that would refresh all the memories we tend to forget... But then again, we love to be reminded and to be tortured by the past since they made our present... However, no matter how sickening life would be, always remember to choose and love yourself first... because if you don't, how could you love somebody else...
Until next time, dear friends... this is Junva31996.. If you have suggestions, please feel free to comment or message me... Feel free to interact with me through commenting in the comment box... It would be much appreciated for my improvement as a writer...
All the best of life!!!
By the way, here are the links of my previous articles posted in this portal. If you have spare time to read, feel free.
First article https://read.cash/@Junva31996/when-was-the-last-time-you-laughed-the-hardest-2793e577
Second Article
https://read.cash/@Junva31996/i-am-an-empowered-bayot-1b7a9f48
Third article
https://read.cash/@Junva31996/its-okay-4fa31a1b
Fourth Article
https://read.cash/@Junva31996/love-leads-us-back-34cc5e2a
Fifth Article
https://read.cash/@Junva31996/looking-directly-at-the-mirror-d174ee56
Sixth Article
https://read.cash/@Junva31996/because-we-both-found-ourselves-in-sad-songs-4de9e59a
Seventh Article
https://read.cash/@Junva31996/because-life-is-but-unexplained-figures-of-speech-70850717
See you next time!!!
Because life is but unexplained Figures of Speech
Poets carefully use varied figures of speech to their writings or masterpieces to make them more convincing, more meaningful and more worth-reading. Little did we know, we also become poets in our own little ways and for that, everyone is not an exemption to the rule. It is maybe implied for many but for me, everyday situations have explicitly revealed that everything is like a network of connected dots of figures of speech.
*How can I explain this? Let me give you different situations in each type of FS. It's your choice to continue reading this writing or to stop since some of the situations I'll be mentioning here might offend you. But, if you're brave and confident enough, the luxury is yours to enjoy every joy of fancy you can get in every detail written. After, you can actually give your own examples of situations in any of the figures of speech mentioned that you think are worth mentioning in the comment box. Let me start.*
ONOMATOPOEIA.
Truly, life is onomatopoeic. It is a big **Bang!Bang! Bang!** Life both hits us positively or negatively, either way, a realist would say we're being hit. There were moments that uplifted us the likes of career success or an employment and promotion in work, answered prayers like passing the board exams and graduating with bachelor degrees, and having a happy and united family or the likes. However, on the other side of the balance beam, life also hits us negatively. We cried because of too much sadness or we felt being shattered and all alone in fighting the depression that became not just our nightmares but our system since we lack support from our family and friends. We were bullied. We were hurt and often times neglected in crowded hallways. We became victims of unlawful things and sad, we became suicidal because we believed that at the very least, these sh*ts would end. Ooops! SPG.
SIMILE.
We were all created in the **likeness** and image of God. No matter how cruel the world is and no matter how cruel we became, it is innate in us to forgive the people who hurt us and whom we hurt. It is also innate in us to find that inner peace God has showed us. Yes, some of us were derailed to the right path but at the end of the day, we were able to compose our selves back--mending the splintered pieces of us.
METAPHOR.
Life is a stage. It has both entrances and exits where we are the actors and actresses in it. We mewled and puked when we were very young. Then , we became a whining school brat, became a lover, found a job, settled down and married. However, life would give us an age shift where we would experience second childishness before sans everything.
HYPERBOLE.
We often exaggerate the simple things, thus, become very complicated. Human as we are, admit it or not, we have endless desires. We are not contented in what we have. We choose to improve each new day than yesterdays. We don't want to be stagnant. Life has become difficult since we exaggerated it like a hyperbole. However, there is a positive side in it. We see improvements everyday and we don't stagnate. Thus, it's okay to exaggerate things as long as we are responsible in dealing them.
PERSONIFICATION.
We give human qualities to non-living things. We animate them. We love to sing and dance with the yellow wild flowers in the field while tossing and nodding their heads in the wind and we love to share our sentiments and love stories to the moon and stars. Don't you?
PARADOX.
We always love a BITTERSWEET love story where we become WISE FOOLS in understanding the reasons that cannot explain or understand why it all happened the way it did. We often become a COMPULSIVE LIAR when it comes to our relationship though it brings us a HAPPY PAIN like a pain from a SUGAR-COATED KNIFE WOUND. Aren't these paradoxical??
IRONY.
Life is full of ironic things whether we like it or not. I heard people complaining that there are many teachers who do not know how to teach, English majors who do not know the simple basic subject-verb agreement(little errors are inevitable, but too much is troublesome and sometimes fatal), traffic cops who were suspended of not paying their traffic tickets, policemen men who were caught of making things done in contrary to the law, lawmakers who do not know how to make and implement laws, dreamers but lazy. Sound offending right? Well I'm not pinpointing names, if it's not you, then probably guilt would not tickle your soul or this would not bother you anyway.
ANTITHESIS
We all have SNOWHITE and the WICKED WITCH in our lives. Snowhite are those we can consider friends and comrades in making our dreams come true and wicked witch are those spoilers of our dreams. I hope we will choose to become snow white in someone else's life.
TAUTOLOGY.
We need to SHOUT IT LOUD that we are born to become a phenomenal star. We should REITERATE AGAIN that we are intelligent in our own ways.
PUN.
This is not a common type of figure of speech that our teachers taught us in school. Well, a pun is a joke that makes a play on words. Life is boring if we are too serious. We need jokes to break the monotony of a serious life. We need them for us to get away from too much stress. Let us choose to have a happy life. Who doesn't want it? Live! Laugh! and Breath!
SYNECDOCHE.
This is very common to filipinos where one term represents the whole. It is only in the Philippines that "coke" represents any cola drinks. Colgate represents the whole toothpaste brand. Admit it, have you experienced buying toothpaste in the store with this silly conversation, "PALITON, PALITON KOG COLGATE NGA CLOSE UP?" Then the store owner replied you, "HALA, WA NA RA BA MI COLGATE NGA CLOSE UP, UNIQUE NA LANG NI." We laugh because we know it is not right. We laugh because we realized we are stupid that we were once victims of it.
CHIASMUS.
We forget the things we want to remember and we remember the things we want to forget. Wow! What a very good example of chiasmus. We always forgot where we placed our keys. We forgot to bring our flashdrives in times we would use them. We forgot to eat our lunch when we were busy. We forgot to take meds when we were sick. We forgot to pray and thank when we received blessings from God. We forgot to set priorities in life. Aren't you? On the other hand, we always remember those embarrassing moments we tried to forget in oblivion when a certain thing reminded us of them. We remember the pains we buried 6 feet underground when we saw our exes. We remember the dead love story, the nightmares and the insecurities we once had.
EUPHEMISM.
We always consider the words we say. We tend to choose the most pleasant way we can so we cannot offend somebody. Innate in us is the attitude of being considerate and being sensitive to someone's feelings. This is so me. How about you?
LITOTES.
Litotes is where positive statements are expressed by negating two of its opposite expressions. Yes. We CANNOT DISAGREE more that we are not as YOUNG AS WE USED TO BE. Litotes indeed.
You have read them successfully. Life is like a masterpiece. It is beautified and enhanced by the author itself--and that is the very you. Like the poets, we should make use of these figures of speech to make our masterpiece more intricately meaningful. Be the best poet you can be... Live. Breath. and Laugh.
Love,
-junva31996-
ENJOY READING, dear Readers... because reading is what??? *FUNDAMENTAL...
Life is a celebration... Enjoy your Sunday, everyone!!!
See you in my next article!
Because we both found ourselves in sad songs
I usually went to Sitio Lawis of Cacao, Hilongos, Leyte whenever I wanted to comfort myself from too much stress in school. I loved to be there because it was so relaxing, the people there were very much hospitable, the place was so peaceful away from the noise of big trucks and motorcycles and above all, Mr. Fudgee Bar lives there. The said place was perfect for videoke singing that it gave me no reason not to go there too often. In fact, his grandparents owned the videoke I always sang to.
There was one time that destiny really arranged everything for real—I mean, for an unexpected thing I always expected to happen. So weird. So rare. ***Fate orchestrated such musical occasion for the two of us. I mean, an exchange of “love” conversation through poetry, more specifically, songs.***
I arrived in the area while he sang the lyrics,
***“MAY NAGMAMAHAL NA BA SAYO?***
***KUNG WALA’Y AKO NA LANG.”***
I wanted to answer him that I was all alone by myself up to that very moment. I wanted to shout but I knew my place. I knew that he wasn’t addressing the song to me. There was a little awkwardness—a little gap. He looked at me and I reserved a song I intended to sing for him as my reply, but of course without noticing him my very purpose of singing that song. Oh my, it was my turn,
***“OCEAN DEEP, I’M SO AFRAID TO SHOW MY FEELINGS,***
***I HAVE SAILED A MILLION SAILINGS.”***
Cliff Richard taught me to keep that love I kept in the ocean deep. Mr. Fudgee Bar seemed like not getting my intention at all. I was saddened because he didn’t even care for that song.
It was his turn again. He stared at me as he sang,
***“ WALANG SAGOT SA TANONG KUNG BAKIT KA MAHALAGA.”***
I was left abated because of that stare and that ultimately confronted me with the most heart-wrenching question of all: how far would I go to keep the hope of love alive?
It was my turn again,
***"PUSO’Y NAGTATAKA, ANO ANG MAYRON KA.***
***BAKIT HANGGANG NGAYO’Y, MAHAL PA RIN KITA.***
***ILANG ULIT MO NG SINAKTAN ANG DAMDAMIN KO.***
***BAKIT LAGING BUMABALIK SAYO.”***
While I sang that song, I saw his grandmother looking at his grandchild and glancing at me every after 10 seconds as I calculated it using the unused nerves in my head. It was as if she insisted that there was something between us---that she should be formally informed. He opened the beer I bought in their small store. The lyrics continued,
***“INISIP NG PUSO NA HUMANAP NG IBA.***
***BAKIT IKAW PA RIN SA AKING ALA-ALA.***
***DI KO KAYANG DAYAIN ANG PAG-IBIG KO SAYO.”***
My eyes couldn’t get off against his since they were glued like nothing could separate. His eyes told me that the song was beautifully rendered and consummately moving. My heart pounded, pressured by the thrill the situation gave. But everything that I felt magical changed when he sang 2002.
***“I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE WAY YOU KISSED MY LIPS.”***
Did we really kiss? It was not me he’s referring to all this time. Because all I remembered was there was no kissing, in between the two of us, that happened. What was clearer to me was the time we were drunk when we hugged each other’s company while sharing the same warmth I always yearned for. `We actually shared each other’s broken-hearted story twice. We were both blue. He sang another song,`
***“DI MO ALAM, ANG DINANAS KO, ILANG BESES DIN AKONG LUMUHA.”***
`“Mr. Fudgee Bar? Did you not remember? You shared your woeful love story to me twice. Did you not remember the two important nights you cried with me? I might not hear it since the sound of the speakers was so loud, but I knew those were massive enough to drain your energy and pull you down. Did you not notice that two vesper nights had already gone when we both plummeted on the same hole? Hence, don’t tell me that I did not know.”`
I remembered it right, we only spoke and spent a whole night talking earnestly two times--- every vesper night of our barangay fiesta. It was annually actually. I stopped singing and I let him sing the last song I reserved,
***“ KINALIMUTAN KAHIT NAHIHIRAPAN PARA SA SARILING KAPAKANAN,***
***MGA ORAS NA HINDI NA MABABALIKAN, PINAGTAGPO NGUNIT HINDI TINADHANA,***
***PUSO NATIN AY HINDI SA ISA’T ISA.”***
Magnus Haven, I mean Mr. Fudgee Bar, was so mean in singing that song. It was the saddest song he sang that day. Well, that slapped me that we were not meant for each other. But the song NOBELA still gave me hope to continue hoping,
***“ DI KO NA KAYA PA NA KALIMUTAN BAWAT SANDALI NA LANG,***
***AT AALIS, MAGBABALIK AT UULITING SABIHIN NA MAHALIN***
***KA’T SAMBITIN KAHIT MULING MASAKTAN***
***SA PAG-ALIS AKO’Y MAGBABALIK AT SANA NAMA’Y...”***
added by Ben and Ben’s reminder
***“ LEAVES WILL SOON GROW FROM THE BARENESS OF TREES,***
***I KNOW IT WILL BE ALRIGHT IN TIME.”***
It was indeed a good day. I realized that we had something in common. We chose the songs that reflected the dominating shadow casted by our hearts. We both loved sad songs as we both found ourselves in those heavy-hearted lyrics. However, like a still water, I continued to hope not to be disturbed again. I finished the last glass of beer and decided to pay his grandparent of the necessary charges I consumed. After paying, I saw his grandmother reserving a song. I got going. He bid goodbye as I started to heat up the engine of my motorbike. The engine roared loudly but I could still hear the lyrics of the song his grandmother was singing, ***“ TUBOD SA NAUGHANG SAPA***”...
Did she read our eyes too? Before I totally left, his grandmother looked at me and her lips spelled,
**"There is a hurt that cannot be fixed by poetry."**
Dear readers,
Do you also find yourselves in sad songs???
Or do you remember a certain someone when you heard a particular song you dearly love or hate?
Thank you for reading. ENJOY every story/article Junva31996 has offered!
Love,
Junva31996
Looking directly at the mirror!
“I'm gonna make a change For once in my life...It's gonna feel real good... Gonna make a difference Gonna make it right.”
My attention was glued to these lines of Michael Jackson’s song “Man in the Mirror.” It awakened me into an epiphany to strive in being real and to break through the mold I forced myself to fit in before. In this very decisive stage, I am like a caterpillar undergoing the last stages of metamorphosis developing inside a cocoon subsequently, ready to spread its wings with lovely hues.
***Make a difference!*** That is according to Michael Jackson in his song as mentioned earlier. As the chorus goes, *“I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways and no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”*
It reminds us all that change actually starts within ourselves. We should be the prime movers who will bring what the world really is vying, “change for the better”. ***Live your life consistently with the highest values and aspirations.*** Without any constraints and away from the bondage of insecurities you will surely and fully convey who and what you are, thus emanating the aura to the world for it to brighten.
Let us read and discover how some celebrities came out to their hefty shell in their long years of hiding their real identity. Let this be an inspiration to all that throwing away your masks publicly is not humiliating to the eyes of the entire human race; instead it serves as a reminder, that we must be true to ourselves and to others in the process.
*Are you familiar with Ellen DeGeneres? She is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. According to Wikipedia.org, she was the first openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on television. In addition to that, in an interview with Time Magazine in an article at cnn.com, she always thought that she could keep her personal life separate from her professional life. She is now completely comfortable with herself and she does not have to be fearful about those negativities that are distorting her career because she has in herself the control of it. She was also the popularly known icon for women who “came out from the closet.” Her career fast-tracked towards its highest peak of success after she came public about her preferences. This is only a fraction of the proof that we can still take hold of success upon our hands especially after we go “out” however the world interprets it. Concealing who you really are never altered the truth that we can easily reach our goals if we are genuine in contrary to those people who fits themselves in molds the society crafted as to be “normal”.*
*Moreover, our very own international pop star Charice Pempengco was also candid in expressing her genuine color in the American talk show, Oprah. She told Oprah Winfrey that basically, her soul is male but Charice emphasized that she may change her hair and sense of style she will not literally “change” to the extent that she will change everything like surgically change any other body part. Charice changed her long shiny black hair into a rocking short, blonde hair and a more stereotypically masculine style to signify that she changed. But all of these were not a hindrance for her in broadening the scope of her career in the music industry; instead, these served as the source of her strength in the long run, through the course of life.*
*Furthermore, Fifth Pagotan, also admitted being bisexual during his stay on the reality show of ABS-CBN, "Pinoy Big Brother.” According to abs-cbnnews.com, Fifth said he was concerned that revealing his sexuality would prevent him from achieving his goals, or that it would negatively affect whatever level of success he now has in his preferred career. In spite of his concerns, Fifth decided to share his sexual orientation outright. This is all about acceptance in knowing oneself though he knew that he may be presumably misjudged. He is a testament to the level of value and open-mindedness of the LGBT community even with the prejudicial society we are in.*
The abovementioned people are just some of the best examples of people who change for the better. Live like a butterfly which originated from the very beginning as egg, grew eagerly to a caterpillar and then matured to a bold and empowered adult butterfly. You don’t need to shed your blueprint. If only everyone knew how to accept themselves, the world could have benn the best place to live in.
**These people are living testaments that most successful people in life dared to overtly express themselves and in turn, broadened their perception and opportunities accessible to anyone. As what Lady Gaga said in her song “Born This Way,” always remember that you are beautiful in your own way because God makes no mistakes and you’re in the right track because you are born this way. She also added in her song that we should not hide ourselves in regret instead; we must love ourselves whether life’s disabilities and shortcomings tease us.**
Lastly, it is also emphasized in her song that no matter who you are whether gay, straight or bi, lesbian or transgender, you are born to survive.
I challenge you to look directly in the mirror and say gallantly that “This is me and this is real” and dare to be something more in the process.
Hi everyone, please feel free to read and interact with this article...
Thank you and enjoy reading every article Junva has offered in this platform.
Love leads us back...
This rainy weather has pushed me to share a story I have kept and valued since the time I met a guy I dearly called BRAD in Southern Leyte State University-Tomas Oppus Campus.
It was 2015 when we knew each other’s name and was in May 2016 when we had our first friendly talk, mainly about the then National Elections. It was a rare conversation, full of hesitance. I must admit that there was that unusual and stirring feeling inside me, it was bustling, a little kicky but shy. Everything I felt one-sided became even when we started texting each other as I completely interpreted that it was not only I who felt that way. I gave multiple and special meanings to all his messages I received in my 3310 Myphone since that was the device I only had to connect with him. No messenger in facebook at all. I gave meaning to even a punctuation mark he sent me like a period or a comma or a symbol ‘K3U’ that when transcribed in computers gave me a heart emoticon. These gave me a thin line of hope that there was something special and purposeful between the two of us. And folks, I validated that special feeling when time permitted the waves to kiss the shore, when I exactly realized that there was nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refused to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it was sent away. It was hasty but firm and fulfilling. We both resisted it but damn we were both delicate and breakable.
*It's true when Blaise Pascal said, "Love has reasons in which reasons cannot fathom." I could hardly understand the things that happened between us--things that shouldn't be happening in the first place.*
Yeah, I understood it was undefined. I mean, there was no label that wired or bound us like a confirmation that we too , both were lovers.
***Undefined love story was as much as about hesitancy as it was about exuberance and one of us had captured this sweet turmoil, maybe it was me or him.***
It bloomed between us into an undefined relationship that was fraught with confusion and yearning. Naturally we couldn’t tell anybody. I, as fragile as a glass, was affected and stuck between friendship and romance, seeking for a sanctuary between lust and emotion. Maybe we had those unspoken rules of angst-driven interactions.
It continued that way. We found comforts together. Everytime we spent a night in the beach, we enjoyed how the waves were crashing in the cheeks of the shore where we didn’t even realized that our hands were locked together and where both of us found warmth in each loving arms. With that routine, of course I was afraid of the time when he would just leave me crying on that shore where I would be all alone with my thoughts of regret that I shouldn't just have invested feelings for him.
Alas! The probability of getting the worst card in that tiring game came. It was too painful for me to realize that I couldn’t hold him anymore with his decisions not to converse or to be with me. I set him free for he had still goals and priorities over me. Maybe I was an option but not his priority. I loved him more so I let him go. I cried. I sobbed, still longing for that happiness to sprout again, but who was I to stop. I remembered I didn’t had any right to control him. He was not my boyfriend and not even my lover in the first place. Sad. So melancholic and that nostalgic feeling to be with him was depressing.
Not a year later after my graduation in college, we chanced to talk, I mean not just a talk but more than beyond rekindling of the past. Human language did not fail terribly after all. I read his eyes and I knew it was the same language I first read two years ago. Days and months passed and we both made memories worth keeping. What’s important for us was the same feeling we had, the bond that connected us. There was nothing as sweet as what we had. And so we consumed our time together that way. We forgave each other through the short inhales in between long kisses we had and through the fears of fraught, unending yearning.
We loved even when we knew it would not work out. We became crazy in a way that no outsider could understand.
We never missed a rain without getting wet. We usually stayed awake at night and I slept during office hours. We ate ice cream when it’s freezing cold. We roamed around without destinations. We danced even when there was no music. We both understood each other.
FF: We separated ways as we busied ourselves in finding green pastures for our selves and for our own family. We both swam in oblivion where both of us decided not to contact with each other’s cellular numbers and messenger accounts. That was our perfect time to find space in contemplating things between us. But still, my head screamed for his name, my heart yearned for his love and my soul wanted to explore and know everything about him.
I couldn’t totally fathom why I hated that every passing day without him by my side made me fall for fim deeply and madly. It was not just about beating up ourselves for old grievances and finding ourselves wrapped in each other’s arms but was also about loving and taking comforts in knowing that aching was okay and pains were normal because those made us the same.
He worked in Manila and I in Leyte. But September 1, 2019 rocked my world again. It was that time when he went home and happened to visit me in my hometown. Call me “marupok,” it’s okay, I admitted that YES I WAS. It’s strange that how sometimes the smallest of things brought back the plethora of memories I had been holding up inside. It touched a cord in such a way that one thing followed another and another and another. The same feeling held me back again. Here Junva again, dealing with unsured and unsealed relationship. His visit lasted only for two days and a night. I took some quick deep breaths. Happiness sprouted out in my heart and within those moments I pictured out a whole lifetime with him. However again, nothing followed. No chats. Ghosted.
Until the time I posted an update in my fb timeline (“ I have to admit that I feel empty sometimes”) with my latest cute picture I considered, he miraculously messaged me with the endearment we used to call each other, “BRAD. ”
I replied and I was shocked with the conversations that followed. He had something to tell and a favor to ask. He confessed everything that it was love he felt between us--- That he still truly loved me the way I did to him. He said that everything we had was all because of love. He asked if it was okay to officially consider me as his boyfriend and his only Brad he started to love 4 years ago. I felt like I finally understood that the investment I invested four years ago wasn’t a big scam. At the least, the emptiness in me was filled in. He filled in that blank space inside me..
Brad, I knew love would lead us back and everything would lead back to you! A part of me will always be a part of you. I love you and miss you. "Maghuwat ra ko nimo diri’s Hilongos uie." I'll wait you here in Hilongos. We will both find and thank the programmer of messenger app as we made that portal our zone of love, only exclusive for the both of us.. Huie, Salamat sa tanan2x.. Sa tanang effort. Brad, palangga, I am excited again to write about us in every page of our journals, to compose poems about us (ngek), to cry on Valentine’s Day, to get wet every time it rains, to tell people our story, to ignore the ones who say it doesn’t make any sense, to journey with you through thick and thin. I love you!
TO THE READERS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE IN READING THIS WHOLE ARTICLE... WAIT FOR THE CONTINUATION...
It's Okay...
JUNVA, IT'S OKAY...
It’s okay to feel unhappy about your shortcomings and frustrations. But remember, you don’t have to hate yourself because you did not experience things the way you wanted them to happen.
It’s okay to make rains on summer days. Remember that terrains still need water to bountifully yield harvest.
It’s okay to pause a moment in your busy works at school. You still need that break. Go out. Go with friends. Eat a lot. Enjoy the intricate natural arts. Laugh the hardest you can. No one will make genuine happiness for you except yourself.
It’s okay to be broken by the same person many times. It is okay to be foolish in love or to be fooled by the man you dearly love because it made you realized that you are alive, that you know your body’s stimuli are working. Go pick up your broken soul. Slowly mend it with acceptance. But do not force your heart to forget him in one hard cry. You are only hurting yourself more. Respect the pace your heart is pacing.
It’s okay to love the melancholy and sense of chaos you found in Tennyson’s masterpieces because it taught you that everything was part of a benevolent plan in which eventually all your losses would be made good.
It’s okay to dwell on Moira’s and December Avenue’s songs because sometimes the sadness and precariousness they brought to you is an immense pleasure your soul badly needs.
It’s okay to sometimes get out from the default society has molded us to follow. Get wild but still be controlled by the alter self in you.
It’s okay to come out from your closet and announce to the world the gay that you are. You’re done being scared. You’re done living in a world where you couldn’t get to be the person you want them to know. Always make rainbows in someone else’s clouds even if they clouded you. Be jubilant. Be an inspiration to others who are still shadowed by the fear of coming out.
It’s okay to be sorry. It’s okay not to be okay. Above all, it’s okay to be the JUNVA that you can be.
I am an empowered 'BAYOT'
One of the biggest mistakes I did in the past was hiding my true colors in the closet and one of the reasons why I did it was being attacked by homophobic slurs...I hated it so much when they called me "bayot"... I was afraid and felt so powerless no matter how I attained life's successes, more specific on academics... But I made the best decision in 2015 and that was courageously getting out from the mold people laid out for me to live. I hid myself for 19 years and that was long and tiring enough... but thanks to those ton of prayers that I bravely made the first step into becoming empowered and phenomenal. At last, I freed myself and have become stronger than I thought I am... Slay more life's challenges, darling... Win more silent battles, baby... Inspire more people, honey... Make your own art even more exceedingly dazzling!!! Live in a world you make for yourself...
To the homophobics, this is all for you:
"YOU CAN TROD ME TO THE VERY DIRT, BUT BITCH, STILL I RISE... I CAN SLAP YOU WITH THE ARC OF MY BACK, WITH THE SPAN OF MY HIPS, WITH THE FLASH IN MY TEETH, WITH THE SWING OF MY WAIST, WITH THE SUN IN MY SMILE, WITH THE FIRE IN MY EYES, WITH THE CURL OF MY LIPS, WITH THE JOY IN MY FEET, WITH THE GRACE OF MY SMILE...Bitch... I CAN PLAY MY OWN DRAG BECAUSE I AM
AN EMPOWERED "BAYOT"...
When was the last time you laughed the hardest?
"When was the last time you laughed the hardest?"
This was one of the rhetorical questions written in my student's poem that enthralled me though I was occupied checking their outputs. I sighed deeply, and answered it with a question though at first it doesn't need to be answered (since it was a rhetorical question in his poem).
"When was that last time?"
I could hardly remember when. The reasons were, I got too engrossed with school works, family and other social responsibilities, above all, my emotional stability was so down after a very "historical break-up" that I almost forgot to give myself even a simple self-break.That rhetorical question pacified the heavy jarring emotions inside me, albeit in the very least.
" When was that last time? "
The same question asked me again. Confidently, I realized it was recently when I had finally understood I became a rainbow in my own and somebody else's clouds. Yes I laughed the hardest again because I was able to use my talents in helping others though it consumed a lot of my time and though it drained me emotionally, physically, financially and mentally.
Bwahahahaaha. I have had given myself and others seven colors that atleast colored our lives.
RED, the color of courage. I was courageous enough to accept challenges in DEPEd and in the community despite the fact that I'm a newbie in the system.
ORANGE, the color that opened my mind to become more openminded to suggestions, criticisms and judgements. Yes! I became stronger to endure detrimental realities inside and outside the system. Moreso, I learned to work and finish tasks without complaining even without just compensation.
YELLOW, the color that allowed me to be more soft-hearted to understand both sides of any situation. Thus, gave enough warm to people I am concern of/with.
GREEN gave me the reason to make a forest of unity despite diversity. I learned to solve problems not only in my own but with the help of knowledgeable others. Through accepting their hearts, I became free from my isolated thoughts.
BLUE helped me became a true-blue soul in gaining the hearts of others. Opening my heart wasn't like a math equation or provisions of the law that I have to memorize or know much of. I am proud that I was able to help people turn into great and productive citizens.
INDIGO gave me a shade of coolness. In a fast-lane life where unpleasant things were inevitable, I learned to cool tensions inside my head, so I became more pleasant and patient in dealing with people and tasks (Working with grace under pressure).
VIOLET reminded me always to humble my heart a little lower than the reality of things, thus, I was able to communicate very well with the people around me. As a result, I started to become happy.
Never thought that this is how truly happy I am despite everything. "When was that last time you laughed the hardest because you're truly happy?"
Well, it was everytime when I happily glided in my own rainbow.
---junva31996
Hello everyone!!! This is my first time in this portal, I hope that I could create meaningful experiences with you my co-readers as I share some of my thoughts in here... I am elated knowing that this inline portal exists... It gives me life!!! Because reading is what??? 🤣🤗 FUNDAMENTAL!!!
@Junva31996