I almost Pee
Date: July 22, 2022
Author: JustMaryelYesterday was an exhausting and tiring day for me that made me sick at the end of the day, which is the reason why I am not active and publish a daily article. Though, my mind wanted but my body and eyes wanted to shut down and take an early rest co'z my health badly needed it. Am I the only one who suffers breakdowns in the middle of the night because of anxiety attacks and cramble thoughts coming from small voices. I thought I already overcame it because it's been a year when I was suffering from depression . I almost took my own life to end the suffering but now it comes back again out of nowhere. Maybe because of how unstable my emotions are together with the pressure of life after I graduate. As people view, a graduated student can easily find a job with a high salary, a job which is suited to what degree you hold and especially people thought degree holders work by just holding a pen. People's opinions give stress and awaken anxiety that they don't know.
Anyways, yesterday's errands were nerve wracking as I woke up as early as possible around 6 o'clock because I needed to go somewhere. My body is not used to waking up early since the pandemic and online classes happen co'z usually I woke up around 8:00 am except during Sunday because the service starts at 7 o'clock. Last July 20, 2022 I received a text message saying " I was invited for an initial interview for a certain company" which I didn't expect. Honestly, I started to wonder where they got my resume as I didn't went to any agency when I was job hunting. I told myself, take the chance and maybe this is the work of me since it comes from nowhere. Receiving the text makes my night sleepless co'z I always think about what might happen during the initial interview and in the back of my head I start to answer possible questions that the interviewer will ask.
8 o'clock is my interview time but before 8 I am already in the company premises, you know impress hahaha. Early bird catches the worm, I believe in that. Being early has an impact to them as they believe "this applicant is punctual", am I right? I waited for almost 2 hours before my turn. Gosh, sitting in front of the door wants me to run and peed like anytime I'm about to collapse with mixed emotions rushing through. Moment of truth, my heart skipped so fast and everything I prepared was totally missing. She started throwing questions and I panic co'z I'm in a mental block. After the interview, I was shocked when she told me to do an actual demonstration which I am not prepared for. Entire interview, I feel overwhelmed as she really appreciates my honesty and accepts some of my fears regarding the position they are hiring for. In the end, I received a positive response when she said " if only she could hire directly, she will but then she needed to collaborate with the agency before anything else".
In spite of that, I'm still unsure about accepting the job co'z accepting it means I will be assigned to another place which is far from my hometown and very new to me. I can't help to worry though it is part of reality but I am not yet prepared for this kind of reality though. But, I still have time to think about it.
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JustMaryel sending you Love❤
I understand your fear dear friend, why not accept the offer if it is really profitable. Changing your environment though is tasking but if properly planned will be easy, do well to make good use of the opportunity.
Everyone panics when under pressure, I remember an oral exams I went for, and my legs were visibly shaking.. The examiner had to pity me