Here I am read.cash

Date: July 18, 2022
Author: JustMaryel

It's been awhile since I am not with you anymore. For the long time I've used to be with you, you were my listener, stress reliever, joy, comforter and all that I never thought I could have the courage to leave you behind my back. They thought it was a very impulsive decision and I thought so but I told myself I need to breathe, I need to find myself to be self reliant, with motivation and inspiration that I don't need others to do it for. I'm so sick of finding motivation which I can do for myself alone. All I need to do is to find myself and bring it back to my senses. 

First, it was painful to just leave and consider my other behalf. I always look back and want to come back but bravely say " I need to breathe" and think of things which are more important. One, two and three the high urge to return into your arms where safety is all I could feel. No fears, no doubts, no anxiety as everything is joy but I came to the point of tiredness due to multiple demotivation that I could function as I used to. In three days, I decided to return but I still enjoy where I am now which gives me more days to cope and deal with it.

Second, the moment I turn my back is the moment I also lost what I've worked hard for, just to build the foundation strongly yet I failed because I chose what seems impulsive that I might regret. I regret that for almost 4 weeks, I let my laziness and tiredness control me. That lasted for a long period of time which I didn't expect. I didn't expect to endure not visiting the read.cash nor sneak just to monitor. Honestly, I regret that for the longest time I was not able to be here and I can't do anything about it but to make steps and push myself to come back once again.

Third, I missed a lot at sandamakmak na tambak na babasahin will welcome me back which I deserve for and earlier I started to unread to catch up on some events as I really don't know the happenings for 4 weeks. Does maintenance happen? Or did Rusty change? Whatever it is I can figure it out along the way. For now, I need to work on tons of unread notifications but I can't promise to finish and read word for word or maybe I'll just leave an upvote and when I get tired of dating gawin "mark all as read", lol.

Lastly, few days ago I celebrated our graduation which I waited and work hard for four years though I was upset with the school and curse (my bad) co'z they really made us feel like nothing as it is a virtual celebration unlike to other school who celebrated face to face. We deserve face to face graduation as it gives a nostalgic feeling yet the school didn't value what we value. I'm really upset how it work because all of the city schools had face to face graduation and even the Kadayawan will be face to face. Gosh, I didn't know what to feel anymore but still thankful that I was able to survive for 16 years of studying from elementary, high school, senior high and college.I come back with more determination with eagerness to achieve those pending goals.

Thanks for not leaving me with my journey❤

Lead image from Unsplash.

JustMaryel sending you Love❤