What would you feel if what you had expected didn't turn out exactly as you expected it to be? It's really disappointing, especially if you've been waiting or aiming for it for days or years, but with just a single snap, it didn't happen.
Way back in my toxic self, I have always been so disappointed in my whole life. I am the type of person who expects too much from anything. My toxicity before was immeasurable. I was so toxic that I would literally do anything to get what I wanted, even if it meant causing trouble for someone, especially when it comes to acads. I have shared before here how competitive I was. I am a perfectionist type of person and a competitive one. One time, we had a quiz bowl, and I was the leader. I got so excited because I was so overconfident in myself that I thought I could easily answer everything. My excitement led to disappointment because we ended up being in third place instead of being the first one. I was so mad at myself at that time because I was expecting that we would get that first spot. That's how toxic I was before. That's how fcked up my attitude was. Every time I recall a detail about my toxic self from the past, I cringe.
Too much expectation...
I have once shared here that we will be planning a three-day stay in Bantayan Island with all of my cousins after Christmas. That is why my other two cousins started to sell street foods, as I have posted here. All of us here have been saving so much money just to be able to have a budget for that trip. The budget was a bit pricy since it was a three-day trip. Honestly, we have been planning this trip for a year already. It was our grandfather's birthday, so it was last September and until today. So we really have a lot of time to save and earn money as much as possible.
They had already booked an apartment and had it reserved for us by the end of December. But then, all of a sudden, the owner of the apartelle decided to cancel all of the reservations, not just us, but every reservation in their rooms. We don't know what her reason was for cancelling all those reservations, because she didn't say a word about it.
Then they started looking for an apartment that was the same price or cheaper than the previous one we had gotten, but the cheaper ones were all fully booked and they had no choice but to pick the one that was a bit pricy. Some agreed, and some didn't agree with the price, because it was more expensive. They've been contacting from one Facebook page to another. They had a little disagreement about choosing an apartment because of its price. My uncle, who was the one who decided on this trip, was the one that we always needed to inform whether he liked it or not, but most of the recommendations suggestions that have been given to him don't suit his tastes and he doesn't like it. They've been having disagreements all over again, to the point where the conversation went to "maybe should we just cancel the trip?" and everyone went silent.
All of them are excited. They have already bought the things that they needed. They even bought beach shirts, shorts, and everything, but with just a single reply. All of them turned into dead beans. Their excitement went from 100% to 5%.
But I, myself, am not that affected at all, though a little disappointed, just a little LOL. You know why? It's because I've been worried about my budget because of the dip and the unstable value of it. And it would be okay if I was the only one that needed to spend, but there are two of us, including my younger brother. I will be the one paying for everything for both of us. So, part of me is happy, and the other part is sad. Maybe my uncle's mind will still change and he will decide to just go on with it. Well, whether he likes it or not, or whether he's coming or not, I guess these cousins of mine would still go for it. Those bikinis that they've bought would not be used if they weren't going to go. HAHA.
Too much excitement leads to disappointment. We ended up unhappy and disappointed because we expect too much from it.
But....
Jini's Note:
Hey there my lovelies! What is up? I hope you guys had a blessed and fun weekend.
As always, thank you for you spending your time reading this another nonsense article of mine. I apologize if I wasted your time teehee. But still, I really appreciate your presence here.
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Arigathankyougozaimuch :>
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Jinifer, Your article covered two interrelated nouns - "Excitement" & "Disappointment." You have done a great job. Both experiences relate to everyday happenings in human life. We can't probably avoid any of the two in our daily life. Can we? They represent a pair of mental states nobody can deny to experience. It is so natural and inevitable.
I like your writing style. I am not a Filipino reader, but I had many friends from the Phillipines when I was in Japan for a research stint at the University of Electro-Communications, Chofu, Tokyo. I remember our good friend Cecilia, who was an expert singer. Professionally she was a teacher in high school in the Philippines.
I would appreciate you connecting, reading/commenting on my blogs if time permits. It is a mutual engagement! Thank you.