Bleed it Out

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Avatar for Jinifer
3 years ago

When my time comes

Forget the wrong that I've done

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

- Linkin Park

I tried to scream but no one heard me. I called for help, but no one came for me.

There were happy people and happy faces everywhere. Their genuine smiles mean that we can probably say that they really are happy. But there's always a dark side behind those secret smiles. It is darker and deeper than we thought.

 


Sleeping at 4:00 AM and waking up at 9:00AM. It's always been like this, my daily routine. I got off my bed and went directly to the kitchen to have a cup of coffee. My last cup of coffee, I guess? I sat on the couch and stared at the blank wall. I tried to reminisce about all the memories I had with my parents when I was a child. As I kept staring at the wall, I didn't notice that my tears were already falling. I messaged my mom that I'd be going somewhere and bid my Good goodbye.

 

I have prepared all that I needed and burned down things that I will no longer need. I put on my robe and headed to the tub. I paused for a while and I looked at myself in the mirror. I showed off my genuine smile and told myself "I'm so sorry if I'm lying to you. What I've done to you is cruel. I'm selfish, I'm stupid and a whore" I should've ended this before. And I know it's getting worse and I can no longer control.

 

I take out the most important thing that I need. I took off my bathrobe and revealed the alive but lifeless naked body of mine. I take one step closer to the tub full of water. As I made contact with the water, I froze a little. I laid down and let myself feel the coldness of the water touching all over my naked, lifeless body.

I'll be finally free after breaking the habit of me.

 

I put my hand at the edge of the tub. I stared at it for a few minutes. I'm alive, but my whole body feels like a lifeless one. I thrust it into my veins and I can feel how painful it is. The more painful it was, the more I liked it. It's like a paper cut but it cuts right deeper into my flesh. My hands started to feel numb as I bled it out. I was shaking but I couldn't feel a single thing. The clear water before is now changing its color. I fainted as I saw myself bathing in bloody water. 

 

I've already given up, so please don't stay. I'm just waiting for the end of me. 

 

I'll just leave out all the rest to you.

In the end, maybe there's a place somewhere I belong and there I can no longer think of you.

Someone else can come and save me from my self.

I can't be who you are.

Linkin Park's Playlist:


Closing Thoughts

Doing that thing isn't the best answer. It's NEVER been good. Seek guidance, don't let the monster inside take over you. You're not alone, God is with you. Fight it! You're the one who's in control, not them. Don't let them bring you down and control you. It's your life, not them. If you ever feel down, think of a way or something that can help you brighten up your day. You're way stronger than you think you are.

I chose Linkin Park because they're one of my favorite bands. And I can definitely relate to some of their songs. 4 years ago, we lost a legend. His songs and his angelic voice were my comfort. Chester is one of my favorite vocalists. 4 years have passed, but his legacy still remains.

He's gone but not forgotten 🤘


You might also wanna check out my recent story.

PART 1. You're My First And Will Be My Last

PART 2. You're My First And Will Be My Last

PART 3. At Last: You're My First And Will Be My Last

You can also check out my Previous Articles

Oh, it's Been a Month

I'm Single and I Love It

Bonjour! Augustus

If Walls Could Talk

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Author's Note

Heyyaaa! I finally get to publish my entry for @meitanteikudo 's prompt. Funny thing is that, when I started writing this one it was actually One Ok Rock's songs but I haven't finish it because the soul of laziness possessed me again. Teehee. And now I ended up writing Linkin Park's songs instead lol

Thank you so much for reading this one. I really appreciate it. I hope you'll always receive a loaded buckets of blessings.

If you like this one, you can always hit the Like and Subscribe button if you want to.

Arigathankyougozaimuch ❣️

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3 years ago

Comments

My all time favorite. When I was listening to them, I feel the anger and hate. When Chester died, the songs gave a new meaning and it feels like a cry for help. It's really sad.

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3 years ago

Sis akala ko para nagkukwento ka Lang dito napansin ko may mga bold letters . Ai alam ko na. Kanta Yung mga yon.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Haha oo, mga title ng mga kanta ng Linkin Park 😁

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3 years ago

Oh Gosh, this is just 😢. This can really happen to anyone, especially those people who has no one beside them. No one ks ready to lend a shoulder to cry om. Some just afraid to speak up because they might get a criticism and be judge by those self proclaimed Judger. If only she seek help to Him. Sana di agad sya sumuko, baka magamot pa yong sugat na nasa puso nya. Walang medicine na makaka gamot, pero sa Kanya. Nothing is impossible. Haysyt.

I like it, I like how you use Linkin Park songs, one of my Favorite band. Nakaka lungkot lang, yang nga kanta kasinng LP ang lakas din maka ano ee.

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3 years ago

Linkin Park is always been my jam whenever I'm in a verge of giving up.

Kaya nakakalungkot lang isipin na may maraming mga taong sumuko kaagad sa kanilang dinadalang problema. 😔

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3 years ago

I live the song In the End, when I am not feeling good and hating people arounde, this is my jam.

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3 years ago

Yeahh, in the end, it doesn't even matter 😉

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3 years ago

I don't know about you but this takes me back to the 90s. Waaaaah! In the end...it doesn't even matter, right?

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3 years ago

In the end, it doesn't even matter 😉🤘

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3 years ago

... I had to fall, to lose it all

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3 years ago

We need to understand that we aren't left alone to our worries or troubles. God is ever with us. We need someone to talk to and that is God.

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3 years ago

Indeed, ending our lives isn't the best solution and it will never be the good solution, it just making it worst. We can always have God in our side, he won't leave us. ✨

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3 years ago

I love linking park ❤️

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3 years ago

We're the same, they're my favorite ☺️

Thank you for passing by ❣️

$ 0.03
3 years ago

You are welcome

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3 years ago

Nindota sis. Nakasuway pud ko anang nakahunahuna ko ug kuha sa akong life. I was so depressed at that time. But God didn't let me. Iya pa jud kong gilamdagan.

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3 years ago

Daghan gyud ta naka experience anang maghuhuna og hing ani, but luckily wala gyud ta gi pasagdaan ni God, naa ra siya nag guide sa atoa ✨

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3 years ago

Why end such a precious life? No matter how difficult life seems, never make ending everything an option. He got us in every way, no matter what 💜

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3 years ago

True, we shouldn't just end our life just like that. There are lots of people out there fighting for their lives. 💙

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3 years ago

Yeah. It would be such a waste. We should all be hopeful ☺

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3 years ago