Tomorrow is my birthday - random thoughts

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2 years ago

Tomorrow is my birthday. He won't hug me. He will not call me before anyone else and wish me good luck. He's not here anymore. I lost him. And he was important to me. The most important.

He would be angry if he knew I was infected with Covid now. He would tell me I wasn't careful enough. It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm infected. My body hurts and I don't feel well. But my soul hurts more. And I can't heal my soul.

Tears are hard to stop. But I don't stop them. They have their way. They have to go that way, over my face, to the pillow. And I also have to go my way. Without him. And I don't want that.

I miss him. Missing is a difficult word. There is nothing I can do about it. And it never stops. It is always there to remind how much it hurts.

I never told him I loved him. I kept the words for some other days. I don't keep them anymore. But now it doesn't matter.

I never told him that he always knew how to choose the best gift for me. I loved the barbie dolls he bought me when I was a kid. I never said thank you to him, and I should have. He gave me everything.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ve always wondered why people celebrate when they get old, but I loved celebrating. Now I don't wonder anymore. And I don't want to celebrate. I just want to keep quiet. And to wait for this to pass.

Thank you very much for reading.

Article and lead image are original and mine.

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Comments

I hear you. It happened to me the first few years after my mother's death. But then I understood that life is like that, you know. I have come back to celebrate life and like you, I have a son. And I don't want him to stop his life when I'm gone. I respect very much the pain of your soul. But think about it. Personally, I understood that at least you have to live in honor of those who are gone.

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2 years ago

These words mean a lot to me. Thanks. I have to keep celebrating life, like you said because my kids feel my sadness and it’s not good. They deserve to rejoice and have a happy mother by their side. Just as I have been happy next to my father all these years.

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2 years ago

That's right. A big hug for you. !

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2 years ago

A birthday is like one's personal new year. As you add a year to your age I wish you more wisdom, success and good health.

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2 years ago

Thanks my friend for the nice wishes.

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2 years ago

Happy birthday to you! You are blessed to count another year and to celebrate with a good health. I wish you happiness in your birthday!

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2 years ago

Thank you very much! I am glad to see you.

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2 years ago

Your dad won't worry I think because he knows you can take care of yourself, he raised you well. Happy birthday and may you fully recover soon.

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2 years ago

I hope so, thank you so much! ❤️

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2 years ago

My pleasure :)

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2 years ago

I felt the pain, I am upset too when I celebrated my birthday without my mom for the first time. But know that your dad doesn't want you to be sad on your special day. I wish you a happy birthday and get well soon :) We are all here for you. Cheer up!

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, I am glad that you understand me. I appreciate your support.

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2 years ago

Sending hugs to you miss Jelena, get well soon and I hope that the pain you're feeling right now will be replaced by joy someday. Happy Birthday! 🎂❤️

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2 years ago

I also hope so, thank you very much for your support! ❤️

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2 years ago

Your loss is immeasureable ,may god give you patienece to bear that loss and happy birthday because we celebrate our birthday to make supplication to our lord so that we have blessings in our next year of life.

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2 years ago

Thanks for these kind words. I appreciate your support.

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2 years ago

Oh no, please get well soon prayers for you.. Still, you got to celebrate life, and happy birthday!

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2 years ago

To celebrate life, yes, you said that very well. Thank you so much!

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2 years ago

Wishing you a beautiful and fufiled birthday... Keep glowing

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2 years ago

Thank you very much dear Bilqees.

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2 years ago

Hey Jelena, I hope your doing better now after publishing this article. If it helps, I want you to know that I've had the exact experience last year when I got infected with covid in time of my birthday, it wasn't as bad though because the love from the people around me didn't stopped because of the virus even if we weren't able to celebrate physically together but what matters most is that they care. I hope you would feel the same too and don't stress out much for it will only weaken your immune system, instead eat a lot of healthy foods & take good rest. It will pass soon. Happy birthday!

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2 years ago

My situation is a little different, I actually suffer because my dad died suddenly and now my birthday makes me sad. But yes, I feel a little better when I published the article. Thank you my friend.

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2 years ago

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss Jelena. :( Sending you virtual hugs.

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2 years ago

happy birthday beautiful mother. whatever problem has befallen you at this time keep praying to God and he will recover you from various problems and peace will rest on you. I hope you can recover from this viral infection and your tears may end when you gather with your family. I know you miss them but you also have to understand for now because staying away for a while is the way to protect them too from this virus. May God protect you beautiful mother. HBD

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2 years ago

Thanks a lot my friend. My grief I wrote about relates to my dad who passed away suddenly and who will not be with me tomorrow when it is my birthday.

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2 years ago

ohh ... forgive me, may your father have been accepted together by God. May your events for birthdays run with full of happiness. prayers and hopes may always be blessed with the family.. and keep the spirit beautiful mother.

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2 years ago

Happy birthday in advance even though I don't know you more but my love for your desire to manifest .. love you . And wish you the best ♥️♥️♥️

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2 years ago

I am honored by these words. Thanks a lot. 😊

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2 years ago

May you have the best birthday you can and pass your illness quickly with the help of Almighty God.

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2 years ago

Muchas gracias querida amiga. 😊

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2 years ago

Happy birthday in advance. Please do not think too much because from God we come and to him we return. God bless your new age. ❣️❣️❣️

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2 years ago

Well said. You're right. Thank you very much for the support and nice words.

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2 years ago

Try not to think too much jelena and everything will be fine. Wish you a happy happy birthday. I see that you are so active here and i would like to congratulate you for having 100+ subscribers that was so quick

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2 years ago

Oh thank you so much my lovely friend. ❤️

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2 years ago

Wishing you an advanced Happy Birthday 🎂... everything goes away with time dear friend. Have patience.

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2 years ago

I hope I will be better with time. Thanks a lot!

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2 years ago

It's so sad that you will celebrate your birthday alone. But I'm sure that wherever your Dad is, he still wishing you to be positive and happy on your day. On this time that you are so sad, I'm sure that he is also sad. Hoping for your fast recovery and advance Happy birthday to you. Sending my warmest hugs 🤗🤗

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2 years ago

Thanks for the kind words. My father has passed away and that is why I am not happy about my birthday tomorrow. Thanks for the nice advice.

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2 years ago

It is good to think of some of the problems of such probes, tomorrow your birthday. I wish you a speedy recovery. Everyone wants to spend their birthday in a special way. You spend it like you do.

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2 years ago

Thanks my friend. I am sad about tomorrow's birthday because my father is no longer alive but I will try to think more positively.

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2 years ago

Dear Jeka, it doesn't make me happy to see you so sad. First of all, I will pray for your speedy recovery. The pain of loss does not go away, yes, but we learn to live with that pain. Please keep your spirits high. Being in high spirits will help you heal. It may also be good to eat foods that will strengthen the immune system. Happy birthday my dear friend, I wish you a peaceful and healthy life.

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2 years ago

Thank you, dear Erdo. I hope that I will learn to live with pain. I have no other choice. Like you said, the pain of loss doesn't go away. Thanks for the good advice and nice wishes.

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2 years ago

I'm so sorry that nobody will be able to hug you or hold you on your birthday. I wish you a quick recovery.

Happy birthday dear friend! Enjoy yourself in your own way and don't think too much, it will solve nothing but make you feel worse!

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2 years ago

Thanks a lot. I'll try not to think too much. In fact, I suffer because my dad is no longer alive and tomorrow is my first birthday without him, but I will do my best to think in a positive direction. Thanks for the advice.

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2 years ago

Wherever he is now for sure he will get mad seeing you like that. So please cheer up! Get well soon Jelly! :) Fight that virus. You're stronger than that and don't forget to pray because He is the best healer. Just ask and you will be heard.

And Advance Happy Birthday to you 💚 Warm hugs 🤗

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2 years ago

Thank you so much Kelzy for these supportive and kind words. I wrote about my father who suddenly died. I still can't move on, I'm standing at one point and suffering. And I write. Writing helps me a lot. Thanks again! ❤️

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2 years ago

Just let it all out, we're here to read it and listen to all your thoughts ♥️

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2 years ago

Wait! What? You are infected? And this for you dad? I just messed up. Please help.

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2 years ago

Yes Luci, I wrote about my dad.😟 And I'm infected with Covid, but I will be okay. My whole country is infected now with this new Covid variant Omicron.

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2 years ago

How dare you told me about it now? Am I not that one who cares about you? I'm upset and sad. I thought I was the one, but I am not.

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2 years ago

Oh Luci 😊 Covid doesn't matter at all. And for dad, you know, that's my biggest sadness. And tomorrow is my first birthday without him.

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2 years ago

And I am upset because The Devil cannot wish you face to face. 😔

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2 years ago