Friends?

December 19, 2021. No. 101

If one day suddenly, without warning, you found out that your best friend had betrayed your trust, what would you do?

This question will surely be asked yourself on more than one occasion, and if you are unlucky enough to have experienced it firsthand, then surely you have already acted accordingly. Friendship for me is something sacred, which is not changed or modified by anything in the world.

Let's imagine various scenarios where your soul mate could betray your trust at very high levels, even if it is enough for him to do so at the basic level.

Steals your partner

This is one of the worst of all and without a doubt one of the most common. Also, it is the most painful. First of all, you lose the friendship you dreamed you had. Second, you lose the supposed love of your life. But it's better this way, bad things are nipped in the bud, and if he is screwing around with nothing more and nothing less than with your best friend, then they both have little common sense. This has never happened to me, and I would not like to be in the shoes of anyone who has to go through it. A painful experience that will leave you vulnerable for a long time, with no one even to talk to about the subject. If you lost your love and your friend in the same second.

Speak ill of you behind your back

It is a common good. Many times you think that this person supports you at all times. You are in error, only true friends are capable of always maintaining good judgment about you with others. Few friends say: "I do not allow you to speak ill of my friend in my presence, please, do not do it anymore." This is being a true friend. Everything else is just an illusion. Ahead of you, they are all joy and when they turn around, all the hatred, resentment, and envy that they could have towards you is activated. This has happened to me, and it has not been easy to assimilate this situation. But grateful to be able to realize and completely eliminate that false friend from my life.

Tell others your most intimate secrets

Not to think about the repercussions that this could bring to everyone. Imagine that the person to whom you have entrusted everything in life ends up shouting all those secrets from the rooftops. It would have a huge impact on you. You would feel that everyone is looking at you in passing and that your life is no longer yours. Someone playing god has spread everything about you. Without thinking about the consequences of your actions, you are now the main center of all. It is undoubtedly the worst of all. Privacy is something sacred, something that is not played with, it is something personal.

For all this there is a remedy, pain is not eternal. You must analyze everything that happened and the circumstances in which that friend betrayed you. Shock is the first thing that will come to you. That state where you will feel shocked and without finding an explanation for why he did this to you. You should not be hard on yourself, much less hold a grudge against him. Just try to forget everything as soon as possible. For this, lean on other friends, there is always someone real who is willing to understand you and genuinely listen to you. Accept the situation as it was, always taking your time. The wounds in the end will end up healing.

Human beings build friendships slowly, with a lot of time in between. It takes years to trust a person fully. Your most intimate secrets are something that is earned with time and perseverance. So if someone comes into your life, trying to get that trust in a hurry, you should distrust it. In the end, it will not lead to anything good.

You will know if he is a good friend when he is present at all times. In good and bad. If he only shows up when things are festive and disappears completely off the face of the earth, when things get murky, then he doesn't deserve your friendship.

If that friend keeps criticizing you and sees nothing else in you other than mistakes, then don't listen to them anymore. Getaway as soon as possible. It is good that friends help us to grow, to improve, but we always use a negative criterion. They do it because they are precisely the negatives, they do not suit you, period. These people are rather pessimistic and try to compensate you for everything that they lack.

If by any chance you are the one who in one way or another has betrayed a friend (perhaps unintentionally or did something for their good), it only remains to ask for forgiveness with your heart in hand and be patient. Explain why you did it and what your reasons were. Tell him that you had no choice but to make that decision for his own good. There are moments in life when people have to define themselves, and by doing this, you show that you are more friends with him than anyone else. Admitting your mistake, and trying to change, will make him see regret in you, and sooner or later he will end up accepting you back into his life. But you have to be patient. Betrayal in friendship is the most painful of all, so it takes a long time to recover from it.

Do you know that the Philippines suffered a super typhoon these days? Compared to a Category 4 hurricane. Our friends @Eybyoung and @bmjc98 are raising whatever help you can offer for some users who lost everything. You can go through these two articles if you wish. Thanks!

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Thanks for reading me today.