This isn’t my story, but that of a friend. I was in a conversation with him a few days back.
Growing up I do look up to my older siblings and try to be like them, I imitate the things they do and aspire to be just like them. It got to some stage I started feeling less human. My immediate older brother was a great artist and my younger one was so good at football and other sports. I’m only good at doing the house chores.
Though in my academics I was doing so good the extracurricular activities was where the problem was. I can remember vividly when we wanted to build a pen for our first dog “Bruno”, I was with my brother and his friend and I started drawing out the plan and the step to take to build it. While the work was ongoing I was asked to do some things which I couldn’t do but I gave them ideas on how to go about it, which worked out. In school despite having the plan to go to science department when it’ time to pick a department, I attended the press and debating club. For right there I feel at home and feel no pressure from anyone.
Getting to senior high school, I was asked to pick a department and the first thing my heart went for was Art department, maybe becoming a lawyer or a journalist. At least that requires little or no physical activities at all. But my parents disagreed, they said I don’t need to be the one that goes to the field to carry out experiments, even going further by explaining the difference between a technologist and a scientist. I succumb to their wish and joined Science department. Truly, I was able to compete with the best in class, I represented my school in different competitions, but the heart knows what it wants. I’d watch on with envy as the press and debating club do their thing.
To cut the long story short, I graduated and got admission into the university, but my story changed suddenly. I no longer understand what the lecturer teaches and find everything hard. I became a shadow of myself. No matter how good the lecturer is at explaining, I still don’t get it. I’m in school now as a ghost, hoping it all ends soon and when I finally graduate, I will leave home and try to find a path for myself.
AUTHOR'S POV
I can’t say I experienced the same thing. My parents gave every one of us the liberty to choose whichever course we liked and they never for once impose their will or choice on us. Choosing a career part is something that can make or mar a child. The child should have a say in it. The parents are only there to act as guidance. The choice of what a child wants to be should be 80% on the part of the child and 20% parents. He is the one that will face the consequences of his actions and not the parents.
Some parents are living their dream through their children. This shouldn’t be. Because you desired to be a lawyer but failed doesn’t mean you should force your child to study law. If he fails at it, he will end up blaming you. Also, the belief that intelligent students are meant to be in science department is another mistake parents make, No course is lesser than the other. You can be a journalist and still be richer than a doctor. Even if you are not as rich as a doctor, what matters most is that you are happy doing what you love.
My Dad has stated his desires countless times. He wants one of his sons to be a soldier but after none of my older siblings went for it, he knew the dream is gone for I cannot be persuaded to pick what I don’t want. Even though he wanted one of us to go into the force, he never for once force us(no pun intended). I hope parents will learn to give their kids the power to choose by themselves.
Thanks for Reading!✍💚✍
Due permission was taken before writing his story.
Here I am having trouble picking a title. I promised ate Panda to make use of 2-3 words as the title in my next 3 articles.😂
A child just needs guidance and support so as not to go on the wrong path, the child should also be allowed to make the final decision, but most times if we say what we really want I dont think our parents will agree to it like I should say I want to be a dancer😂, they will say go to school first.