Cut the parents some slack

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Avatar for HappyBoy
2 years ago

Two days ago I dropped a short post on noisecash. The post was born out of frustration. I saw some students going for tutorials in preparation for the coming Jamb exam. These students were dressed in such a way that most adults can’t dress in public. That wasn’t the main issue, later in the day, I decided to visit the academy where I do lecture a few years back to see some of the staff and talk about the upcoming exam, know how they are preparing and how I can be of help. I was shocked to see the same set of students I saw earlier at the academy. I went into their class to teach them but after some minutes I realized they were there for so many things but studying was not one of those.

In anger, I went to noisecash and ad made a post talking about how Parents are like a hurdle so many students are waiting to jump. How they plan on leaving home someday just to escape the strict way they are handled. I thought of how so many students in school change immediately they step their feet in the four walls of a school because they believe they are now free.

Screenshot of noisecash post

Yesterday something awful happened, that shook the nation. In fact, two different things happened. Some underage students had sex, recorded it and uploaded it online, also a 15-year-old boy kidnapped kids and sell for money- $10. You can read the full details in this article written by @Jumper-01 and this article by @Olasquare

The general public blamed the school, social media and most importantly parents. I also joined in pointing fingers, especially criticizing the parents of these kids and present-day parents in general. I was angry and went on a long lecture with whoever cared to listen. However, I thought of a family I know. A devoted Christian family close to me. They brought up their children the best way they can and it’s evident in the way their kids behave well in the society expect one who seems to have a soft spot for creating problems. He has been involved in so many social misadventures, name anything bad, his name will surely pop up. Now, I’m sure people who aren't close to the family will blame the parents when they see him doing what he is doing.

I’ve been in a gathering where people were blaming his parents for the way the boy acts and I was forced to defend them. Then I asked myself “Am I not doing the same thing?”. Truly some parents are lagging in their duties as parents, they neglect the kids, they don’t pay attention to little details which might have a huge effect in future but what about those kids that are brought up in the best way possible but chose to be what they are?.

The public is always quick to blame the parents when a child does something bad, but what they fail to realize is that some of these kids are brought up in the right way, they only chose to be what they are. You can take a donkey to the river but you can’t force it to drink water.

We have seen a lot of bad behaviour on social media and the question is what do parents do when they come across such content? What is the right way to handle the situation? I think society is not helping with moulding the child in the right way, instead, they are re-moulding in the wrong way. Parents go to work every day and try their best to be there for their kids. The kids spend more time with other people than with their parents. Social media is another teacher. People show their true colours on social media. There are also lots of examples in history where online content has influenced people to do really bad things.

What can parents do?

Pay more attention to their kids. Listen to the little details, don’t just brush it off as nothing. Pray for your kids. I’m the type that believes in prayers, raising your kids the right way isn’t enough. You need to back it up with prayer so that society’s teaching won’t overthrow your teaching.

Thanks for Reading!

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2 years ago

Comments

Kids can easily copy what the society told them to do so. That's why right parenting is very important, guard them in a way that they can still learn on their own

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2 years ago

We have to take note that no matter how well the parents raised their children, we cannot guarantee that the kids will be growing up fine. Once the kid goes out of the house, there will be a lot of external factors that could affect and influence the child's behavior.

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2 years ago

Children receive moral education almost from families,, In my opinion, parents should pay more attention to religious aspects and raise their children accordingly..

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2 years ago

You know when it comes to upbringing a child, God is the only one that knows how to train a child as the Yorubas elders always say but the parents still need to play their role cause it is very important which today's parenting lack. I watch the girl video on is likee and toktok pack most of her twerking video was done at home with short wears, can we say her parents did not see her doing that too.

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2 years ago

Yeah, we are fond of pushing blames quickly on parents....

This current era we are now is too "active" for a child to easily magnetize to the outside Influences. My siblings living with my parents at home now are giving them more tough time to handle unlike the way it happened for us. They have phones and that's the ticket...

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2 years ago

Good parenting doesn't always equate to good children. People shouldn't forget this

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2 years ago

Agreed! Sometimes it obvious to deny their orders or speech. Because you know every human being is err. It's obvious thing

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2 years ago

Parents play a major role in the life of kids and if they get it all right, the kids have a good chance of growing up to be decent. The questions are: what are the chances a parent gets it all right and even if they do, what about other factors that play a minor role too?

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2 years ago

The truth is that most parents actually do their best for their kids and always try to put them in check but they can't lock up their children at home, sooner or later they will come in contact with the bad ones in the society and they end up straying away from the path their parents laid for them

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2 years ago

when i saw the news too, i was like why? its some parent fault and also the society at large. most of our comedians or influencers really dont teach our children rightly at all.

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2 years ago

Some children just willingly chose the bad ways, they just chose to be the bad eggs by themselves, it's not that some parents aren't trying to give them good lessons and help them live the moral ways. There was one girl, because parents corrected her of the improper thing she did, she ran away from home and blocked her parents from contacting her. Can you see that kind of thing? It's like Satan has entered some children's heart. Seriously, parents need to be praying more for their children.

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2 years ago

Apart from hat chrisland mata. I had already absolved the parents from blame until when I heard that the mom had bought a phone of N200,000 for her ten year old daughter. So I wasn't surprised if the parents were not actually watching how She'd use her phone.. social media factor also, Bbnaija influence and the rest 🙄

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2 years ago

I was so livid when people resulted to blaming the parents for the misdeeds of their kids . Parents do the best that they can and there's only so much guidance and attention you can give to a child. At the end, what the child wants to do, they will do. So I agree with your topic , let's indeed cut the parents some slack.

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2 years ago

So many weird things; happening amongst these generation of children, it's really saddening. And yes Happyboy, you've really nailed it on the head. I strongly also believe in prayers. Any child that wants to get spoilt would definitely get spoilt even when the parents are overtly strict and probably; disciplinarians. But you see ehn, with prayers, it can change so many wrong things in the child's mindset.

I also strongly believe that, but for the prayers of my mother, I'd definitely have turned into something unrecognizable.

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2 years ago

The truth is I don’t know what to say again … at first I didn’t want to blame the girl much but bro with what I am seeing now she even has a likee account in which her username is badgurl4k she does a lot of erotic stuff on there

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2 years ago

Yea, it's not freedom we find in institutions but functionality and dependence. I'll comment you more at Noise, see https://noise.cash/post/0q4knq7c6wx0

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2 years ago

This expository narrative is laudable of praises. I relished in the fresh cup of wisdom prepared. It is saddening to see how teenagers gallavant the street with that carefree and lackadaisical attitude.

You have said it all. Personally, I've seen pastors' children done worse. So, the parents can only try the best they can. The sad part is; the society contributes immensely to the social progress of a child. Sadly, our society (Nigeria) isn't a worthy one. Thank you very much for a wonderful read, boss.

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2 years ago

It's quite abysmal reading about the 10 yr old girl, actually it made me dumbfounded. I think parents need to pay more attention to their children, but on a more serious note, to the best of my knowledge and based on what you've written, parents aren't entirely the ones to blame, I believe most parents do their best in child upbringing, it's up to the child to leave or take the training. Indeed We shouldn't be that critical of them, we should cut them a slack.

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2 years ago

Being a parent is a huge responsibility, not a piece of cake. Sometimes children may not want to accept their parents' advice because they believe they are being forced to do something when, in reality, they are merely disciplining them. I hope no one judges a parent too harshly.

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2 years ago

Parents can only guide and remind their kids but it's still up to the kids what they will choose to do.

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2 years ago

It's sad for other parents who give their all for their child yet still a headache to them

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2 years ago

It really depends on the upbringing of the parents. But some still tend to follow the wrong path. Such worrying the world nowadays..young people become liberated due to the influence of social media and peers..

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2 years ago

That's quite true. I have known some good parents who have a drunk child all the time and the reason is because of their friends influence. I somehow think that no matter how your parents influence but if you have bad influence friends, there's still a big impact of it to the personality.

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2 years ago

There is no manual for this thing called parenting.

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2 years ago