Bestie
When two people are together, share a common interest and know what the other likes and hates, the chances of them developing feelings for each other increases. I’ve always thought this wasn’t true. I believe a girl and a boy can be best friends without any hidden feelings but yesterday I questioned my belief when “bestie” was trending on Twitter.
Bestie is the short form of “best friend”. so many marriages and relationships are over simply because of the third wheel called “Bestie”. A popular Twitter influencer Shola dared people to message their opposite sex bestie with a message saying they are ready to have sex with them.
So many people took the challenge and messaged their “besties” and the replies were shocking. Over 98% of the “male besties” happily agree with it and stated their suppressed desire. So many of them secretly desire that but were too scared of saying it. Seeing the message from their bestie was like them hitting the Jackpot. The “Female besties” were also not left out. About 95% agreed happily and also talked about their secret desire for it.
From the numerous Screenshots of replies shared, what I was able to deduce was that most people (Guys in particular) became besties either
- After being rejected by the lady.
- They are too scared to make their feelings known
- Fear of rejection, so decide to be friends with the hope that she/he will reconsider someday
I decided to carry out a little survey of my own by asking on noisecash and also a few friends on WhatsApp. I got so many funny replies on WhatsApp but I won’t share them for some reason, they (friends) won’t want such to be out there. However, I will share the replies I got on noisecash here.
Pvm said exactly what most of my friends said. Most bestie relationship is just a sided thing, one party see the other as a friend, while the other secretly want a relationship with the friend. Maybe there’s a lot at stake if he/she reveals his feeling, so he decides to remain in the friend zone. It can be due to fear of being rejected as I mentioned earlier or they’ve been rejected but choose to remain close till the other person falls for them and reconsider their proposal.
Markoom said she has a bestie and the feeling (Thoughts of dating or having sex) never crossed their mind. I was tempted to tell her to speak for herself, the other person might have a secret feeling for her. We never can tell though, maybe theirs is one of the 2% exceptions, hence I didn’t send the reply I planned.
George Dee: I intentional write this last because it will usher us into another aspect I plan on talking about. He said it’s possible but you have to set a limit and the type of spouse you have matters. I agree with him because I’ve got female friends though I can’t say there’s a particular one that is my “bestie”. I’ve got a lot of male friends to fill that shoe.
A boy and girl friendship exists but…
The opposite gender bestie can exist. But if I were to answer the question the Twitter user -Shola asked I will say “Yes…” but add “but just about 2%”. And for this 2% to work there must be boundaries.
I noticed in the replies some ladies were giving the guys after they sent the message asking for them to have sex, the ladies were asking why the guys never noticed the signs they gave in the past. One talked about the numerous times they’ve hugged and cuddled, the times she wore a particular type of cloth just to give him hints but he never noticed. I believe communication is key, from inception let your stand be clear. Let the bestie know that you’re not in for any relationship with them and be sure that you’re on the same page. Even at that, the probability that one will still be having feelings for the other is high.
Respect your spouse
I think the right thing to do after going into a relationship or marriage is to reduce the closeness you have with your “bestie”. Make your spouse your new bestie. Though everyone claims they aren't the jealous type, as humans we are jealous by nature. I can’t allow my girl to have a guy she shares her deepest secrets with, she plays with always and talks about at every given opportunity. The same way I can’t allow her to, I won’t do the same to her. Tolerance has a limit. It’s no bestie of the opposite gender for me.
Thanks for Reading! 😉💚🤪
What’s your take. Do you think having a bestie of the opposite gender isn’t the same as playing with fire?
Every relationship starts with being friends and then something else happens :D