Bestie

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Avatar for HappyBoy
2 years ago

When two people are together, share a common interest and know what the other likes and hates, the chances of them developing feelings for each other increases. I’ve always thought this wasn’t true. I believe a girl and a boy can be best friends without any hidden feelings but yesterday I questioned my belief when “bestie” was trending on Twitter.

Bestie is the short form of “best friend”. so many marriages and relationships are over simply because of the third wheel called “Bestie”. A popular Twitter influencer Shola dared people to message their opposite sex bestie with a message saying they are ready to have sex with them.

The tweet that raised the Trend

 So many people took the challenge and messaged their “besties” and the replies were shocking. Over 98% of the “male besties” happily agree with it and stated their suppressed desire. So many of them secretly desire that but were too scared of saying it. Seeing the message from their bestie was like them hitting the Jackpot. The “Female besties” were also not left out. About 95% agreed happily and also talked about their secret desire for it.

From the numerous Screenshots of replies shared, what I was able to deduce was that most people (Guys in particular) became besties either

- After being rejected by the lady.

- They are too scared to make their feelings known

- Fear of rejection, so decide to be friends with the hope that she/he will reconsider someday

I decided to carry out a little survey of my own by asking on noisecash and also a few friends on WhatsApp. I got so many funny replies on WhatsApp but I won’t share them for some reason, they (friends) won’t want such to be out there. However, I will share the replies I got on noisecash here.

Pvmihalache's Comment on Noisecash

Pvm said exactly what most of my friends said. Most bestie relationship is just a sided thing, one party see the other as a friend, while the other secretly want a relationship with the friend. Maybe there’s a lot at stake if he/she reveals his feeling, so he decides to remain in the friend zone. It can be due to fear of being rejected as I mentioned earlier or they’ve been rejected but choose to remain close till the other person falls for them and reconsider their proposal.

Markoom said she has a bestie and the feeling (Thoughts of dating or having sex) never crossed their mind. I was tempted to tell her to speak for herself, the other person might have a secret feeling for her. We never can tell though, maybe theirs is one of the 2% exceptions, hence I didn’t send the reply I planned.

George Dee: I intentional write this last because it will usher us into another aspect I plan on talking about. He said it’s possible but you have to set a limit and the type of spouse you have matters. I agree with him because I’ve got female friends though I can’t say there’s a particular one that is my “bestie”. I’ve got a lot of male friends to fill that shoe.

A boy and girl friendship exists but…

The opposite gender bestie can exist. But if I were to answer the question the Twitter user -Shola asked I will say “Yes…” but add “but just about 2%”. And for this 2% to work there must be boundaries.

I noticed in the replies some ladies were giving the guys after they sent the message asking for them to have sex, the ladies were asking why the guys never noticed the signs they gave in the past. One talked about the numerous times they’ve hugged and cuddled, the times she wore a particular type of cloth just to give him hints but he never noticed. I believe communication is key, from inception let your stand be clear. Let the bestie know that you’re not in for any relationship with them and be sure that you’re on the same page. Even at that, the probability that one will still be having feelings for the other is high.

Respect your spouse

I think the right thing to do after going into a relationship or marriage is to reduce the closeness you have with your “bestie”. Make your spouse your new bestie. Though everyone claims they aren't the jealous type, as humans we are jealous by nature. I can’t allow my girl to have a guy she shares her deepest secrets with, she plays with always and talks about at every given opportunity. The same way I can’t allow her to, I won’t do the same to her. Tolerance has a limit. It’s no bestie of the opposite gender for me.

Thanks for Reading! 😉💚🤪

What’s your take. Do you think having a bestie of the opposite gender isn’t the same as playing with fire?

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2 years ago

Comments

Every relationship starts with being friends and then something else happens :D

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hmmmmm this bestie of a thing is getting out of hands o and I hope guys can understand that if you are too close to a lady she will definitely fall in love with you

So as for me I don't do besties because I respect my man and I value my relationship so much Because at the end that bestie might be a threat to my relationship

$ 0.00
2 years ago

My bestie used to be the opposite sex, but immediately she got married, i called her and told her know we would not continue to be best friends simply because she had married, and her husband should be in the position to continue that. Why did i do that? Because i believe when someone isn't married to the person he/she used to best friend with, such closeness needs to be reduced.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

My partner having a male bestie cannot hold cos I know what I did to my bestie ooo, our motives are different actually but it still brought down to they will have feelings for themselves as they grow.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

So you no want make dem do to your girl wetin you do to your bestie? Continue... Just know this that I'll be your partner's bestie. But be rest assured I'll only be counselling her once in a while 😉🤣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

😅😅😅😅 is like pe na wahala you like. If I no shoot you make I bend 😅

$ 0.00
2 years ago

When one becomes engaged or married one's spouse needs to become the bestie. If not temptation will set in.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Honestly, I cannot allow my man to be best friends to any female gender. For what? What are we bestiying😂😂. Please if a girl don dey talk pass hi hi for my man DM,there's something fishy😂. I used to have male best friend but my man doesn't like it so I stopped and I was beginning to like him in the other way round and I noticed that he felt the same way too so I stopped being his best friend

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Never been into this bestie thing. But I don't think it is a big deal if friends are attracted to each other. There are times we see strangers on the road and feel attracted to them. The difference is that you have to weigh up which is more valuable to you: Your sexual desires or your friendship. That is why a lot of those people have chosen to bottle it up. And that question simply opened the bottle's cork. Again, it is also possible to have no sexual attraction for your bestie. It can be strictly platonic. I believe it depends on a lot of factors.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

At first I was confused when the younger siblings called each other bestie I thought it was their gang but I just realized now that bestie is bestie.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I have a pleasant connection with with a friend , and we call ourselves besties. We've been friends for over three years, and I've never expected anything more from her, and I don't believe she expects anything more from me but I no Sabi Sha... But bestie between two genders is actually possible

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha I am Actually writing something on this right now ..

this tweet has proven something to me besties between these two genders can never really exist because one would always want more except in rare cases.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

it can exist 👀

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I was telling a friend the other day that, there are some certain relationships you can't keep once you're in a relationship and she was offended. There are some things you can do with a male friend that you cant do once you're involved in a romantic relationship

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I saw one tweet where the girl asked the same question Shola ask them to do and the response from her friend (guy) cracked me up. He said "Is this joke?" "You that your stomach is like gpee tank. Go and be serious with your gym and we will talk about that later" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think the guy wanted such but not even attracted to her perhaps the stomach thing.

To me, I would say George is very right. There should be limit and boundary to this bestie stuff and no matter who your spouse is, once you are married, reduce the closeness and do not let any string be attached to it.

If you truly value your marriage, you won't allow infidelity especially from bestie be the cause of misunderstanding in your home.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yeah , i saw that tweet 🤣.I checked the comments and people said it's possible the guy saw the challenge already before the girl sent it to him. But that abuse dip sha🤣🤣🤣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

E dip oo 😅 I guess so too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I just knew somehow that this trend will end up here 😂 The simple truth is that in a male and female relationship, one of them is bound to catch feelings after sometime especially when they are always spending time together all in the name of besties. This is why I have never ever believed in that bestie of a thing and I don't keep any bestfriend (not even male), 98% of the time one person will want something more. If I notice a girl I am interested in have lots of male friends and one of them is her bestie, I simply back off. "He is like a brother to me" no dey my dictionary

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2 years ago

There should be limit in friendship but in case of bestie we divide in overlapping of feelings. If I shall give hint to my BF, he really got my hint and will start from hug and kiss. Hahha.. I am shy and I don't mention him here because he is not here. Still I can join the trend on twitter.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Wow...who would have thought. I used to think that Guys who get intimidated by the male besties of their girlfriends were just being insecure I guess now I know better.

I can't really say I have a male besties right now, I used to have a very close guy friend but we grew quite apart cos of school stuff but I do know that I want nothing to do with him, not then and certainly not now.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I find it quite disrespectful if my wife would share innermost secrets to her boy best friend over me. That's not good I think. You know if you are husband and wife, then you both share the same spirit as what the marriage ceremony says.

[I am actually @Markoom in noise cash]

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Wow! I didn't know you're the Markoom. You're right, after marriage the two should be each other's best friend.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think we’ve all gotten it wrong. The focus of all critics of that tweet is on the end result and not the process. I’ll try my best to explain what I mean.

Best friends or not, opposite genders are going to be attracted to one another. We all have fantasies. We crush on celebrities, the most famous persons in our school, church, community, and everywhere we find ourselves.

I see a lot of people saying opposite gender bestie isn’t a healthy relationship, but personally I think we’ve gotten it wrong.

We are humans, and one of the core functionalities of our being is our flawed personality- That is we are not perfect. When we’re are placed in enabling environments we act like our environment wants us to.

If we are put naked in the same space as people I mentioned above, (crushes) aren’t we going to go down with them irrespective of who they are.

If a guy just suddenly finds himself in the same room with say, Beyoncé and she’s giving him all 100% green light to go down with her with the illusion of no repercussions whatsoever (morally, spiritually, socially) won’t he just go down with her? Same with a reverse situation with a lady

This brings me to back to my opening sentence. The fact that we have all these fantasies doesn’t mean they all have to get satisfied. if a guy secretly wants to have sex with his female bestie, the only wall that will stop him is her disagreeing and putting off any advancement of such. It should be the duty of the lady to keep that wall up for the sake of their relationship. Same with a reverse situation. But when that wall is broken (in this case the tweet the guy shared) they are going to go down with each other.

The process is the construction of the wall in between them by both the male and female, or one of them, the end result is the eventual collapse of that wall or the completion of the wall.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

I understand you well. I think the major thing the challenge opened my eye to, is that it's dangerous to keep the opposite gender close (especially when there's an attraction) after getting into a relationship.

As i said i have girls I'm close with right now. In fact, there's one that i can call my "bestie" but once I have a serious relationship with another, it will be better for me to reduce my closeness with the bestie because involuntarily we can find ourselves in compromising situations. And when such happens, it's hard to control oneself.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I want to take the challenge for fun, unfortunately, I have no male besties 🤣

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That thread was something else, I was speechless although it confirmed the bias of people. The boyfriend/girlfriend should be the bestie.

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2 years ago

Thankfully, I dont have a male bestie . I wouldn't know how it feels. Lol

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2 years ago

That boundary thing is important o, I have a guy friend, we used to call each other bestie and I could vouch that we didn't like each other until he started acting funny when I talk about my boyfriend. I suspected that he did but I didn't ask, I set boundaries immediately, I wasn't going to open that Pandora's box😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Lol, it is either the guy wants to have s-x with the girl, or the girl just wants to use the guy for things, these kind of relationships are built because they both need something. I believe you can be friends with the opposite sex, but that is if you have put limits.

$ 0.00
2 years ago