The talk

Date: Friday, 12th of November, 2021
Published by: Greatwolfman

Yes, it is exactly what you think it is, one of the most awkward conversations parents ever hold with their children. I can see that you are already smiling, I'm not so sure as to why but I do know I will have a lovely time writing this piece.

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Now, let us talk about THE talk, a discussion every parent will or would say their offsprings. I have always imagined what it would have sounded like.

Mummy, where do babies come from?

I can vividly remember asking my mom about this back in my early days when I was still a preschooler.

Oh, by the way, if a little one ever asks this question, what would your answer be?

This is one of the first lies parents tell their kids and innocent kids like us would believe every word.

Babies come from the sky

My first idea of where babies came from was the sky, and I believed it when my mom told me. It seemed the most reasonable explanation at the time since we were also made to believe babies came from heaven, heaven is up in the sky and hell is deep below the ground, if you match hard on the ground or throw stones to the ground, the Devil would feel pain. Most days, I would spend my time looking at the sky, and I could see babies in the cloud.

Mummy look, God is making babies

Now that I recall this instance, I just feel so stupid but no one would have noticed it because I was so adorable, you better believe it.

Babies come out through the mouth

Mother was pregnant with my little brother, I didn't know how the baby fell from the sky into her stomach, so I was really curious.

Mommy, when are you taking this baby back to his house

I don't remember saying this but mom reminds me now and then how adorable I was as a kid. I was excited to be having a little brother, but I was still curious where the baby would come out from. I had only two answers, either mother would vomit him out through her mouth or take a shit and push him out.

So, it wasn't a surprise when Mother told me the baby would come through the mouth, I'm sure I felt like a young Sherlock Holmes solving that mystery.

Mommy gets pregnant when Mommy and Daddy are too close to each other

I believed this until I got into High school, even after I knew the truth, a part of me still took precautions. In their defense, they were not lying, they only condensed it so I would understand. At least this is what I choose to believe

This was a lie my Father told to prevent me from going towards girls trying to seek a relationship because he believed it would only end up as a distraction and my studies were far more important.

It worked to an extent, I still had my little crushes from time to time, and since I didn't want to be a daddy at my young age, I would keep my distance.

My High School had a chair and table for each student, it was big enough to fit two kids and I was okay with it unless the other kid was a female.

You can imagine the shock I had in class when we were taught Reproduction in Basic Science. I don't think it was so professional to include such a topic too early like that or the fact that my Basic Science teacher laughed a lot as she tried to answer our questions.

You can imagine the shock I had when I learned the truth. The truth did not set me free. I got home that day and I didn't know what to say to my parents, should I be angry or happy? I felt so ashamed of learning the truth.

Closing thoughts

How old were you when you discovered the truth?

These days parents don't bother to have THE talk anymore, the world has grown so much and basically every answer to every question can be found thanks to google. I guess that is why a child should grow with both parents but that is not always the case, the Mother will teach the girl child girls stuff while the Father would teach the boy child boys stuff.

I'm sure everyone here knows where babies come from so I won't bother saying it. I also understand now that what I was told were not lies but little fragments of the truth, enough to satisfy my curiosities and keep me from discovering the truth. Most kids today don't even get that luxury, they learn about everything on their own.

Oh, don't get me started on the time Puberty set in and my voice started changing and we started noticing hair in different places except my chin of course. I'm glad to see I now have beards growing. I will make a silent prayer for the grown-up guys who are still waiting for their first strands of hair, one day.

I hope you found this article interesting and shared a laugh or two. Ignorance is bliss, my friends.

Lead Image Source: Unsplash

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