Long distance relationships : it takes two to tango

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Avatar for Greatwolfman
3 years ago
Topics: Relationship

This is a very sensitive topic because it's based on something I once experienced. I decided to keep an open mind to avoid all forms of being biased by carrying out a survey and I got some really interesting replies that shed more light into this subject.

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Technological advancement in the 21st century has made communication over long distances possible which also makes long-distance relationships a possibility. Nowadays it's even more common to hear of young teenagers being in a relationship with someone they only met through social media and still haven't met physically.

Before I proceed any further, we must get a clear definition of what Long distance relationship (LDR) means. According to Wikipedia :

A long-distance relationship (LDR) or long-distance romantic relationship (LDRR) is an intimate relationship between partners who are geographically separated from one another.

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What do you do when you are in a relationship with someone who stays far away?

From my survey, I was able to learn about the two important factors that are necessary to keep a long-distance relationship going

  • Communication

  • Trust

Communication

This is the most important aspect of maintaining a long-distance relationship. Thanks to the progress technology have made in recent years we can keep tabs on our loved ones through social media. You can just Skype or chat all day if you wish depending on your schedule. It's important to make this as continuous as before to fill the void the long-distance relationship will create.

Trust

For couples in long-distance relationships, the level of trust is important. Since you are not always going to be with him or her, how will you know if he or she isn't cheating on you? It's not at all news when such accusations come up, sometimes they are true. If you do not trust your partner, the relationship will definitely fail.

Why do people go into such relationships

There are a lot of factors that can influence people's choices when going into such relationships.

  • Situation

Some situations are simply out of our control and the best we can do is accept them and try to adapt to the changes. It's possible that the person you loves relocated to a new city for one reason or the other and you still want to make it work

  • Space

I was surprised to discover that some people intentionally go into a long-distance relationship because they want their space. Apparently spending so much time with the person they love is too much to bear. I found it ironic actually, is it possible to be in love with someone yet you don't want them to hover around you? Yes...it is and it's understandable.

  • Introverts

Do you have that friend who is very noisy and stubborn on social media but when you meet them in person they are just really quiet and would barely start a conversation? Such people will be more comfortable with maintaining long-distance relationships.

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Is it possible for this relationship to survive without any physical connection?

There is no denying that it could be quite difficult to go one without physical contact and when you find another person who is there to meet that needs, you end up cheating.

It's not all that bad, there are certain advantages of subjecting your loved ones to such a situation, so to say.

  • You know who genuinely loves you

We live in an era where it's just difficult to know who to trust. "Does he/she loves me for me?". If he/she is willing to wait that long just to be with you, that just proves how genuine his/her feelings are.

  • Generate more fondness

It's normal logic for the heart to want even more what it can't have. It has been scientifically proven and we can see the result in our daily lives. If you were told that you could never eat Chicken again, all of a sudden that is exactly what you will crave, the same logic applies to the fondness of the earth. I beg to differ though, I am convinced that you grow fonder of something or someone you spend more time with, not apart but that's just an argument for another day. Science hasn't always been perfect at predicting human behaviors because it's unique and also subject to change.

  • Creates a sense of value

Since you are mostly apart, that little time he/she comes over has more importance as compared to someone you see all the time thus creating a strong feeling of anticipation which is enough to keep the heart going and waiting patiently. In truth, a person can only be patient for so long but when the love is there, the wait is surely worth it. Such feelings can serve as fuel for the relationship.

Would you want to be in a long-distance relationship or a short-distance relationship?

The answer to this wasn't at all surprising as more people would prefer to spend more time with their loved ones except for a few who claim they are satisfied with the distance.

One man's meat can be a Mother's poison I guess. Personally, I have tasted the two and I'm convinced Short distance is better, of course, if you don't like your loved one to hover around you all the time it's only a matter of "communicating" with him/her.


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My thoughts

I will be honest with you, I had an extremely difficult time writing this article due to scars that have refused to heal. When they said time heals, they failed to mention just how long.

I challenged myself and went on with it but in order not to limit the information to just "me", I conducted a survey. Carrying out surveys is an important skill in gathering useful information on a particular subject, if you haven't tried it in the past then I suggest you do.

My advice to the lovers currently in a long-distance relationship is this, I know how hard it can get but don't let other people's failures affect your judgment. As long as the two of you are ready to make it work then it will.

Also, it's only temporary, you won't be apart forever, stay strong. Love always wins, after all, a wise lady once told me, "it takes two to tango"

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Avatar for Greatwolfman
3 years ago
Topics: Relationship

Comments

Long-distance relationship will work only if two people are madly in love with each other and stay committed to their relationship.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

You will heal very soon, take it like an experience you had in the past... you brought light into this topic. We feel long distance as a huge burden but it's not, if both parties can be aware, like really be aware then it will work..

Aware of the fact that sEx isn't always the only way to sustain a relationship...

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Okay this is really nice 👏👏👏👏you did justice to this topic. You know me and my take on long distance it’s a no-no for me distance is a huge factor for me and I don’t think I want to be far from my spouse things can happen 😹

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Right now I don't even know if I shoukd call myself an introvert anymore after seeing the point you made in this article 😅 I'm probably an ambivert? I'm actually not good at maintaining long distance relationships, I prefer seeing the person everyday and I am not good when it comes to calling everyday, I prefer texting but most Naija girls don't want to hear that, if you don't call then you're a demon 😆

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Our parents relationship in those time were long distance, its just due to the way things are now that makes long distance relationship seem difficult, but anything that works for you go for it.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

To be honest, due to past experience, I think it would be best to just stay off relationships and give myself more time to heal

$ 0.00
3 years ago

For what I have understand, distance relationships takes two people who are madly inlove with each other for it to work.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

What a well-thought-out blog entry, you really make a survey just to know the other people's views about the topic. I guess the process of healing is too longer than we have expected to end. I know how it feels to be brokenhearted. I hope youre trying to heal yourself from the pain you are feeling @Greatwolfman! 💙

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I'm doing the best I can, taking it one day at a time

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I am currently in a long-distance relationship right now, going 4 years this December. The key to a healthy relationship whether it's short distanced or long is trust and open communication.

If both of you is also willing to compromise, you will settle things successfully. We are comfortable of this setup though, although we miss each other but I guess that makes the relationship stronger.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Long distance relationship is very tough and I am not sure if I can survive that kind of relationship. Taht is why, I adore those people who survive LDR because it just shows that what they feel is truoy love.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

People say that long-distance relationships are gorgeous. But my experience don't say so. You need to be loyal. That matters.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I personally prefer short distance relationship although i know my type of person can thrive in a long distance relationship

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Yeah, it depends on the two people involved in the relationship. I think it would work out if both of them trust each other and were patient towards time and distance.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Ummmh. It really takes two to tangle. To me, I prefer LDR now and think I'd forever prefer it. Just as you said in the article, less hovering.

The major fact is that we should be prayerful, be it SDR or LDR, it is only God that keeps a union. And above all communication trust can not be separated in relationships, they are the main seasoning of the union.

Nice article. And may I tell you that true love can heal those scars.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

I hope it does exist. You are right, prayer is also a major factor

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I once engaged in a long distance relationship of which i thought it was gonna work out well after all the exchanges of plesantries we both had with the always saying of i love you everyday on phone, yet it ended up not working

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Same happened to me, but then again even SDR are capable of meeting such an end

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well for me is difficult i have not been able to manage short distance talk more of long, i have trust issues and it's not my fault events made me to . is a no go area for me and if eventually get into one i will give it my best but not my all and when i see a nearer bird i shoot with my last bullet i love having backup in this case.

$ 0.50
3 years ago

Relationships are always hard, so I have learned

$ 0.45
3 years ago