What's your opinion on this matter!!.. I need it!!

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Avatar for FashTioluwa
2 years ago

Recently, I was going through the internet and I saw a post that was written out like this

95% of ladies are guilty of this. Most ladies in relationships and marriages collect gifts and money from other guys without taking permission from their Bfs/ Husbands.

It’s very disrespectful and will eventually lead to cheating. Some ladies will say, why should I take permission from an “ordinary boyfriend?” But if he is ordinary, why are you with him? Most ladies won’t even allow their bfs/ husband eats another lady's food, not to talk of accepting a gift.

Some ladies immediately came to my DM to explain their take or opinion on the matter, the first lady said, there is nothing bad in it, that is it normal for girls to collect gifts from their guy friends, and I asked her, how will she feel if another girl is giving her boyfriend money or buying a gift for him? And she answered with a question, do I take permission from my girlfriend before I collect gifts from my lady's friend? And the conversation continue, she said it is not cheating and she see nothing wrong in a lady accepting gifts from her friends, though she wouldn’t accept gifts in front of her boyfriend cause it might be disrespecting to him but she would when it comes randomly.

She also said she would get jealous if she find out another lady is cooking for her guy, or cooks and bring it over for him to it, and I was like, oh, so you would, but you see nothing bad in you collecting gift from other guys, wahoo. She asked this last question which I avoid, is there anything bad in a lady asking for money from her male friends? I will leave this to the audience.

Excuse me, you mean you would get jealous? (Manage the picture😁😁😁)

The second lady's opinion was the one that still got me thinking, I wonder how she reasoned, she said the write up is partial

He is my boyfriend, not my husband, have you ever thought if she is being maltreated or abused by her partner, have you ever thought if the guy is not taking care of her, and what if the guy is stingy and doesn’t see anything bad in being stingy.

My face when I read the message

There was so much I wanted to point out in what she said, if she’s being maltreated she should leave the guy and go for a better relationship, but in the case of married people, I wouldn’t advise divorce, I would leave that aspect for the likes of @Olasquare and @Oluwa_damilarea to do justice to them, I have read their articles and I believe they have a good sense of judgment on matters like this, she further went ahead to explain herself in a 3.27minute voice note. She said

There are some guys that don’t count it, we are talking about boyfriend now, if I’m with my finance or husband, I won’t collect gift from anyone but boyfriend?, the way relationship is in this current age, guys don’t take girls serious anymore, guys don’t date one girl, but tends to blame girls more, a girl going to the extent of cooking you, when you have a girlfriend, and you collect it, would you be happy if you find out your girlfriend is cooking for another guy, yes, the guy can accept gift but not to the extent of allowing a girl to be cooking for you, there are two different things, the guy can accept gift from his female friends but not food, because you won’t like it if your girlfriend is cooking for another person, so that write up is partial, if my boyfriend isn’t treating me right and there is another guy out there who is ready to treat me like a queen, then I would accept gift from him, a relationship that hasn’t reach a certain stage of seriousness shouldn’t be done with all the heart if not they will lose at the end.

My face after listening to it, because it kinda makes sense.

And it went on like that, I don’t even know how to reply to her, but in my own opinion, there is nothing worse when a girl receives a gift from a guy friend that is not after her when she knows he is after her, she shouldn’t collect gifts or money from him, she should stay with her boyfriend no matter who or how she is, and if she can’t, she should break up and go after the other guy, same goes for the guys too.

My opinion might be wrong or might have some fault in it, I’m not saying it is the best, you can drop a comment and let's learn from each other. I will drop my pen here

All images used are from unsplash.com, you can also follow me up on noise cash Here

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Avatar for FashTioluwa
2 years ago

Comments

I reall appreciate you mentioning me here, I've been away and I just came back to get the notification, my take on it if they're married is to stay, it's not enough reason to leave your marriage because he doesn't gift you which I highly doubt he didn't show signs of before they got married. To the ladies, know your love language, don't make your man feel not capable, you've met this guy ? Fine, you like him? Fine. Are you sure he's giving you all you want? If no, then why go into a relationship... I do gifts and I also love surprises but in cases when I see guys gift my girl, I'll feel like I'm not doing enough especially if I watch her reaction to it... Thanks for this btw, I should write on this too...

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2 years ago

I notice you have been away, hope you're back,.. Also I wouldn't made you tagging me in your latest write up on the topic ..namaste

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2 years ago

Nice meeting you here and thanks for replying my comments at Big-E 's articles yep you are I don't think girls need to keep on collecting from their boy friend i taught they always say " we are meant for each other " so the lady needs to understand that it not all times you keep on collecting and collecting for me it really not gud

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2 years ago

Hmm... I like your point of view too

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2 years ago

To be honest I don’t think it’s something bad for girls to receive gift from other guys but what’s bad most is visiting them at their house ahh. That’s what I’ll never ever support even if it is mere visiting.

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2 years ago

Hmm . thanks for your contribution, I do appreciate it, I can see some people share your point of view

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2 years ago

My opinion is that a married person ought not to receive any gift from the opposite gender without the prior permission of the spouse.

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2 years ago

Sure you're right

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2 years ago

1) The problem is that relationships are now considered a market place that's why people believe if you take gifts from someone, you must cheat with the person. For me though, I hardly take gifts from guys as a personal principle because they have the marketplace mindset. Also, if I find myself in a situation where I have to accept gifts, the person I'm dating will be aware and it will be the level of gifts I'm OK with him accepting from girls. Funny thing is, I'm usually not too pressed about my partner receiving gifts as long as I'm informed. If he cheats, it's because he chose to and that's his personal flaw

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hmm..I'm feeling you

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2 years ago

2) Now, despite all that. There is no reason to receive gifts from someone that is interested in you while you're with someone else. Note that when I'm talking about gifts, money isn't included oh. I won't collect money or sentimental gifts but I'm talking of occasional stuff like birthdays or so. Collecting gifts because someone's boyfriend is stingy is also weird af. If he's stingy and you can't cope then leave or buy your things yourself. It's bad that some people that complain about this wi never buy stuff for their partner but always want to receive, where's the feminism in that?

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2 years ago

Whaoo whaoo just whaoo... You nailed it.. I like your thoughts on this article

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2 years ago

Empathy is a key point for a relationship, since many times we do things that hurt our partner, just because it is not bad, does not mean that it does not hurt

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2 years ago

Hmm.. I love the way you put it, the point is not to hurt your partner with our action

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2 years ago

There's God. My take on this is so plain. Relationship these days are not worth it, the rate of faithfulness is very minimal. You may say, she's not cheating on you openly but going down to her social life(social media), you'd see that guys are qeueed up, and some might have sent recharge cards or subscription (which is now normal for ladies) without you knowing. To me, anybody can receive gifts,,,,to some extent though. Jealous would come but the love that will stay, will stay.

Normally, you can't give me mic to preach about relationship because People go vex leave that arena🤣

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Lol, honestly I'm enjoying you and your opinion, I do say it, a guy is buying you a phone your man can't afford, and you collect it then go over to his place to say thank you, it still cheating, but you get angry when a lady give your guy food.. Not not even go to the married people side now cause thats on a who different level

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2 years ago

Relationship and Marriage are completely complicated. Na just God and patience to endure somethings that comes the way

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2 years ago

Swears.. Na just God

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2 years ago

If I am very sure that the guy doesn't have any ulterior motives, then I don't see why I shouldn't accept the gift. Infact it's morally wrong, unless if it's a Greek gift. There are alot of men that feel more manly whenever they extend an helping hand to the weaker gender. It's natural and there's nothing wrong about it. Even here on read.cash, I have more male subscribers and sponsors and I am very clear that their Intentions are totally pure.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Come on, we are talking about the real life now, I'm sure you see nothing bad in receiving gift from a guy that has no feeling, how will you explain that to your boyfriend, especially now that you're not married, or how will you feel if a girl gets your guy gift or cooks for him, and he says there is nothing attached to it

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2 years ago

If he says there's nothing between him and the other girl, I would definitely believe him if I know that he has been loyal. But when the gestures start getting more e frequent, then I would know that something else is amiss. It's not always good to jump into conclusion. The way you handle matters maturely when you think you have every reason to vent could change the mind of your partner

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2 years ago

Hmm... You have said well.. Too much knowledge everywhere

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2 years ago

There is so much wrong with this in so many levels.. first of all, my question as a married women for 12 years, wtf you taking gifts from other people without a reason to it?? unless or otherwise it is the girl's birthday, i do not see ANY reason for them to take gifts from other people regardless of their gender...

There is no innocence in taking or giving "gifts" to a man/woman that is committed with other person.. if they say it is, absolute Bullshit.. and as per that girl said, "maybe my boyfriend is stingy"... am like, "yeah, so what??? so what he is stingy or whatever, go buy yourself whatever you need from your money.. not his"...

damn these girls... It's been more than a decade since I was married and even today I feel awkward to get a gift from my husband lol... these people have no shame and self respect

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Same thought here, I said, if you're working, you won't know he is stingy, and if you can't be with him, break up and date another guy than staying with him and collecting things from other men. And her reply was, it doesnt mean so far she has no feels for them.. What about your mans feelings.. I was so shocked

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2 years ago

Eww just eww... These type of people feel NO SHAME whatsoever

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2 years ago

😬😬

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2 years ago

Ahan, common... This is from a completely different perspective... Honestly now, I wish I could use a voice note to explain this. Buying of gifts is part of a love language... Me ooh, I won't be happy with a guy that doesn't get me gifts, it's my own love language... The gift doesn't have to be expensive, something worth it... It could be a frame or a rose flower, just something... Relationships without love, care and gifts is kinda boring to me... I'll also be working, I'm not planning to be a liability to whoever I'm dating, I'll also gift him presents even if there's no special occasion. But I can't date a guy that doesn't know how to spend on his woman...

Mheeeeeeen, it's so boring

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2 years ago

Ella, Its understandable, your point, but now, the point is, if your boyfriend don't get you things, is that an excuse to get things from other guys, if its your love language, it will show the guy doesnt love you, and getting gifts from other guys can be view as cheating too, isn't it better to leave the guy and be with a guy that gets you things... Cause it will be easy to sway a lady that prefers gift

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2 years ago

Uhhhm... I understand you, trust me, but you see ehn... Nowadays one can't just put hope on a guy. I understand what you mean. Trust me; any guy I date must understand that sharing gifts is my own love language.

There's a difference between husband and boyfriend. A boyfriend doesn't have as much right as an husband... I flow with the girl that used voice note, for real.

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2 years ago

Opor, alright dear.. I feel you

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2 years ago