Disclaimer: All written here are from her experiences and it happened long time ago, some of you might objects or whatever. This does not promote drug use. Read at your own risk.

When she was still naive she thought 4:20 is a time, 90's kids in our country had this “clan texter” group and they will have this GM or group message thing. She read this 4:20 via group message and the sender said, “It's 4:20 session now, let's get high!” she thought it was a time for some activities because when she received the message it was exactly 4:20 PM lol.

Later, did she learned it?

Image Screenshot from wikipedia.org

420, 4:20, or 4/20 is a culture slang for marijuana and users will smoke it exactly around 4:20 pm. It's also a celebration of April 20 (4-20) yearly in the U.S as Cannabis oriented.

For some countries, Marijuana is legal while it is not in our country, although marijuana is used for some medicinal drug, overused of it will give you hallucination effects and you'll get addicted as well.

She used it out of curiosity

During her teenage years, she was wild as a bull and curious as a cat. She always wonders why people get addicted to smoking weeds.

She first try it when she was a transferee student during her 4th year of high school. She was a fan of emogothic and punk back then, that was the trend. She likes to wear all black, put eyeliner on her eyes, and had some black borloloys. By that, some of her classmates thought she's somehow using drugs or marijuana lol.

Some of her classmates have 420 sessions and they dragged her, there are also girls during the session, four girls. They let her tried it, her classmates even laugh at her because she doesn't know how to do it, they even said “You look like a bad brat, it's so surprising you don't know this thing!”. The effects? Oh, she likes the effects, it made her happy temporarily. Like they were laughing like a fool even if nothing to laugh about.

After she graduated high school, she stop a year before going to college. Some of her male cousins are also using it, then she used it again. Just for fun, just for laughs, to laugh at nonsense.

Why some students used it?

Some students used ganja during study time and exams. It will make your brain active, but if you're not high during the exam you'll also go blank. Although she didn't try it during exams, she's afraid that the effects will expire and she'll go blank instead.

According to what I know the effects will distort your brain functions, it will be active on the things you have put in mind before taking it. Then when the effects expired you will not remember much of the details you did, that is why some examiners make sure they are high during exams lol.

Well that's what they believe and seems the effects are like that too, I can't argue with this scientifically.

Did she get addicted to it?

No, she wasn't. For some, they were addicted to it because they lose control of themselves. As she said, she used it to fill her curiosity. After she graduated from high school and entered college, some offer it to her again but she refused, especially if her companions are not trustworthy.

She's a curious cat but she never fails to be smart in doing actions that might put her in danger.

Why did she use it? Well her life is a load of shits, sometimes she wanted to escape temporarily with agony and pain. Using it will somehow let her escape reality temporarily as it gives her laughter.

What's her Trippin back then?

The first trip was too LOL, laugh out loud. When the effects starting to take off, she's enjoying laughing even at the slightest nonsense details.

For example:

Her companion moves his eyelids, it will make her laugh like a fool. Like is that funny? For a high person, yes it is.

She also likes seeing her reflection in the mirror moving, like it circulate and she'll laugh out loud seeing that.

The second was to sleep like no waking up, sometimes she's a hardcore sleeper, and taking ganja will make her sleep soundly. If she takes it she can sleep 15-16 hours. Sleeping is one of her escapes in reality, and she'll explore another dimension of the world.

The third was to eat well, taking ganda if you don't have appetite can also helps you a lot. That's why she's chubby when she was a teenager, as she eat well. Like all the food are very delicious lol.

Did she ever try using drugs (cocaine, stone or etc)?

No. Even if her environment back then are forcing her to try it, she refused because she was thinking maybe her body cannot take it and she doesn't want to be an addict for real.

With her experience, she's not proud of it nor she was ashamed of her past because somehow it helps her to escape reality for a moment and had fun even at the midst of her battle. What she's proud of is that it never take her soul away as she was able to control herself in getting addicted to it.

Her husband to be also knows about it, she's very vocal with everything she does way back. The guy was just awesome to embrace every bit of her dark past, and never judge her choices, he embrace her wholeheartedly for who she is.

It's all in her past, and she doesn't have any plans on using it again. She's already mature to handle her situation without temporary escape with the help of hallucination.

Closing Thoughts

I got this idea to write about after reading @Bloghound article about her husband who was once a drug user but already over it, read it here Confessions Of A Former Drug User.

There are reasons why some people using it, some are to escape temporarily the misery they are going through. Some are being influenced by their environment and some are barely their choice.

By that, I can say addiction is a CHOICE. A person is not insane yet before they went insane, before taking any drugs a person has the will to say no to it. Our mind is powerful than our bodies demand, so if someone had a hard time letting go of addiction it's because they already lost control over their sanity, and let the effects of the drug take over.

It indeed controls your mind before it controls you. Our demons were just around the corner together with our angels, it's up to us to whom whisper we listen.

Thank you for reading!

Date Published: September 10, 2021