@Ellehcim 15 March 2023 more from that month

Some risks are, indeed, worth taking. **There you are! I am sure there's a reason we met here** ***(though not face to face, of course, let's leave it at that)*****. I am hoping you won't regret clicking this piece, as it maybe destiny's way of showing you that you aren't struggling alone.** We're now on to the third part of my journalling series from last year, mostly October 2022 entries, and just like you are, I slightly feel that these entries are not mine. Looking at my situation right now, things have been so different. A few months passed by, and the changes were already this big and noticeable. By the end of this entry, you'll understand the changes I've undergone within a few months. You ready to relate? You might need some tissues *(just kidding, I'm stopping the useless exaggeration here).* First part: **Hello, 2023.** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/hello-2023-a7897428 Second part: **I've been into thousand worlds.** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/ive-been-into-thousand-worlds-8a5904fa Now, Imma shut up and tell you to read on. Enjoy? I guess.. 09 Oct 2022 At this point, I am just getting things done, so I won't feel guilty. I absolutely hate the cycle I am in, yet, I just keep on going, because it'd be costly to undo what I already started. I tried many alternatives, to find what I do fun. I tried scheduling stuff before I sleep, or just wake up really early to do it, or just do when I want to. Nothing seemed to stand out to me. I am still unproductive as heck. I hate it. I hate myself. I can stay awake doing unnecessary things, yet, I sleep on important tasks. I need two extra hours in a day dedicated to just motivating myself. I need extra time to realize no sht will work if I stay in my comfort zone. These are really painful days included in waiting. And I abhor waiting. How do you get rid of the constant desire for instant gratification? I spend time looking into rich people, how they live the life of my dreams, and this always leave me thinking, what was missing in my formula? Where did I go wrong that I remain in this state? I don't work hard enough. I know. I have no connections—and I don't work to create them. I think very little of myself. I act in a way that tells exactly how stagnant I am. I whine in inconvenience caused by taking risks, or undertaking new ventures. I suck at consistency, yet I want fast results. I've read that the difference between what I am and what I wanna be is what I do. What I do, such a big thing. Such a big gap. I didn't realize how hard it is to be that person I want myself to be. And this foolish self of mine kept on thinking they had it easy. For now, here I am, just going with this painful flow. I honestly have no clear idea of where I am going with my current way of living. Ended shortly. This entry was shorter than the previous ones, maybe because this was written late at night and I was just physically exhausted as my mind was? I'm so grateful I fought for the last thirty to fifty minutes of my daily life writing my thoughts. I actually did myself an amazing favor, because, now, I can look back and remind myself that there were specific (and lots of) times I felt so down, and no one else knew it aside from me. I am able to see the inner struggles I face on a regular basis, and how these battles were so fleeting, so fleeting that I actually, forget some of them! Can you believe that? I sometimes wonder if there were timI was just so sure there were times I shed tears while sharing myself through a pen and a paper. Journaling gas really become helpful to me, and I hope it'd be for you, as well. If you're asking how I am at this time of my life, thank God, I am. Not lying on this one. I am feeling better than before, and the ones I certainly lamented about in my previous entries have been resolved, fortunately. Another articles would suffice to that, of course. I'd surely share it to y'all soon. This year, I told myself I'm gonna go into that uncomfortable route, and try many scary things, such as going out my comfort zone, man, that's really scary... I am really thankful that I am making it happen this year, one by one. Slowly but surely. And I am telling you, it's worth the agonizing anxiety! After garnering up the courage I didn't know even existed, it all becomes a breath of relied after it all ends! I was just like, "My, I freakin' did that! I was finally able to do that! Who would have known? Who would've freakin' known!" These were really proud lil moments I treasure. Sometimes, you really just gotta do what you have to do, regardless the creeping fear. Because once it's done.. it's done! You'll gonna be thanking yourself over and over for being brave enough to take the risk! Anyway, I am hyping up while typing this, so I gotta calm down. **Reminder**: There's someone out here that's thankful you cane here to read. I hope you got some good stuff from here, and not just the negative vibes. Everything's gonna be alright. Take heart, love! Let's say hi again tomorrow, lovelies! To God be the Glory. https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/hello-2023-a7897428#to-god-be-the-glory ***What do you think about this article? Show some love! Feel free to leave a like, comment, and share it to your friends! If you want to support me in a different way, be one of my sponsors! This user loves sponsors!*** 💯 Read Next! https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/dear-july-please-be-a-little-nice-6e8f09e8#read-next **This is what happens if you don't schedule a break... Real** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/this-is-what-happens-if-you-dont-schedule-a-break-real-bae48eb4 **This is What Happens when you don't schedule a break...** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/this-is-what-happens-when-you-dont-schedule-a-break-e3a9fee3 **These four words changed it all.** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/these-four-words-changed-it-all-be272788 **Another What if adds to the list.** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/another-what-if-adds-to-the-list-5d2b7448 **I'll Win You Back.** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/ill-win-you-back-f12cc276 **The rain came and went, along with a story to tell.** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/the-rain-came-and-went-along-with-a-story-to-tell-7456064a **Start worthwhile journeys:** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/its-okay-to-not-try-so-hard-d6a32e8d#start-worthwhile-journeys ****read.cash**** https://read.cash/r/Ellehcim ****noise.cash**** https://noise.cash/u/Ellehcim ****Toru********m**** https://www.torum.com/signup?referral_code=ellechim **Find me on Appics! (Username: Ellehcim)** #**Club1BCH** https://read.cash/@Ellehcim/30-days-writing-challenge-from-somewhere-day-13-29b08c5c#club1bch https://read.cash/search?q=%23Club1BCH Lead Image from Unsplash