I think everything's going completely well. Some things still make me worry. It sucks, that feeling when you thought all is okay, but then it's not.
I have thought of contacting Devon, but it's quite late right now. Maybe, tomorrow morning. I am still not sure, because I don't know if I should do that. I was only able to talk to him and ask him questions because a friend set up an appointment with him for me. It has been seven days, is that appointment still effective? I don't know. If I's manage to overcome this unreasonable shame I am feeling, then maybe I can really go and message him on Viber.
Guess what? Terry called me today. The best thing was, I did not expect it. Goodness, it made me happy, that simple presence. Though I know he still ain't here for real, at least he showed up. Oh, and Steve. I am sure he also waved his hand quickly on the video call. I am not really sure if it's him or not because Terry did not confirm it. Thank God, Terry is starting to show up again. I've been waiting for him to do that. I miss him so much, and Steve, too.
I tried placing my face really close to the humidifier, when no one was looking. I was just trying to confirm something. It smelled like a bland lemon scent. It was my favorite scent, though a bit more weaker, maybe it was diluted with water more than usual. I also sprayed alcohol on my palm and inhaled it closely. Was that bad? I was just trying to prove a point, that time as well. It really did not smell like anything. Did I really put alcohol on it? Well, whatever. I guess Steve will come later than expected. Just a random idea, if you'd ask.
I had some vegetable viand and fried fish for dinner. Brushed my teeth, and prepared my tea as usual, but then I noticed something when I tried to turn my head right. Something's not right.
I did it again, and I noticed what happened for the second time. The left area of my neck hurt. A bit. I touched it and I felt a small lump in it. I am lying if I said I did not panic. What the heck is a lump suddenly doing on my neck? It ain't here until earlier this afternoon! That panic was in my mind, though. Dad passed by to look for his phone and I immediately told him what I just saw. He said maybe it's because of the heat. It's a bit of a summer time here nowadays. I am not sure, is September summer month? I am sorry, I think it also frequently rained. I can't remember.
I looked at my neck through the mirror, and I could visibly see the lump showing. It was big enough to be seen like that. I quickly looked up the net what exactly it is, the reasons having it, and stuff. The closest one I believe it is, a swollen lymph node. Body's way to let me know that it's fighting a flu, a virus, or something like that. I heaved a sigh of relief. It's not that serious, right? I mean, yeah, I am a bit sick and I know this swollen thing will go away in a few days, right? Any medical practitioners out there?
A realization suddenly hit me. I typed on the search bar without second thoughts: Does drinking green tea cause swollen neck? I have been drinking green tea for seven days now.
I was surprised to see some results. Green tea is best for inflammation. Oh, good for me. I smiled as my eyes laid on that green tea I still am yet to finish. I can't just get my mind off of thinking, why now? I have had colds and some flu seven days ago, why is it only swelling now? Anyway, never mind. If I continue thinking, I am just making my own anxiety again.
Devon, only he could answer this. I hope I'll be blessed with courage to chat him tomorrow. I hope it's still free. I mean, what if he charges me? He is not a friend. What if he asks me if I am still meeting with Michaela and I tell him not anymore? Stop, Caroline. Here you are, over thinking again.
I would just focus on the fact that Steve and Terry are somehow showing signs of coming back soon. Just thinking of it again lifted up my mood. This swollen neck is not welcome, I hope the green tea does a good job of eliminating it. It is uncomfortable, is a bit painful when I touch it, and it bothers my thoughts! I hate this feeling!
I don't want to sleep worrying tonight. It would spoil the good sleep I want to have.
What should I do to make tomorrow better than today? Maybe I should do some laundry. Or write some stuff. I am clueless right now, what's going on? My mind is suddenly blank. Wait, isn't that better, though?
My favorite Chinese drama must have uploaded the latest episode by now. I don't wanna miss it.
Tomorrow is a Sunday. I plan to wake up earlier, if I can. Today, I woke up fourteen minutes past eight in the morning.
Author's Note:
I can't exactly tell how everything will follow through with these diary-like series. It is fictional or not, it is actually a mix of the two. As I progress through the story, I hope I could make more things sensible. Not like this one. So random and lacks direction. Well, this is kinda what I am going for. Diary entries are so random and does not require much thought, right?
Thanks for reading, darlings. Until next time.
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To God be the Glory.
I am not feeling well to after I go for a swim. I can feel my throat is aching as I try to gulp. Hmm, I am not into tea as well. Hehe! Let us all take care and be safe always. Ang mahal at nakakatakot na magkasakit ngayon