Some of you probably think that I'm an only child. Well, sometimes, or most of the time, I also think that way. But I actually have an older brother. However, I feel like I'm an only child of my parents because ever since my brother stepped into his college life when I was still in Grade 9, he would not come home every weekend and I was the only one left at home with my parents.
He only comes home once a month or sometimes once in a blue moon. He would always say that he is busy reviewing for his upcoming exams and he has a lot of schoolwork to do that's why he can't come home and my parents should just send him the money he needs through a remittance center.
And when he graduated from college and began looking for a job, he would always stay at his girlfriend's house whenever he comes home. And now that he has a job, he only visits our house once in a while, drops by to say he is around, and then goes straight to his GF's house.
I remember, when we were still kids, every time we fight about something, which also angers our parents, especially my mother, we would always team up so that we won't be scolded. I also remember, one night, our mother was supposed to hit our butts using a belt as the consequence of fighting with each other, but my brother and I ran away towards our store so that she won't catch us, but she still did, and our butts were still hit with a belt.
When we were still in Elementary, where I'm in Kindergarten and he is in Grade 2, my mother would let us take a bath together, especially when we are already in a hurry and we don't want to be late for school. There's no issue anyway because we were young and naive. Lols!
And when he entered High School, while I'm still in Elementary, when our parents were not around, our fights became bigger and more violent to the point that he would use a knife and point it towards me. He would always threaten me that he'll gonna kill me with that thing. Then, I would end up getting a knife too and point it towards him as if we were so sure and ready to kill each other.
Back then, we were like cats and dogs that never go along with each other. We would always annoy each other that we are not siblings and both of us are just adopted and not really children of our parents just to hurt each other's feelings.
However, there were also times where we're treating each other right, like actual siblings. He would help me with my outputs, especially if it requires drawing as he was more talented in drawing than I am. I also felt like he was a real brother when he advised me to stay away from guys when I was still in High School. He also told me to not talk with a certain person of his age when I asked him about that person because he won't be good to me and he was right.
And when I was already in Senior High School, I almost fell into a trap (not literally a trap) because I had such a weak heart that I thought I was in love, but I was only being manipulated. Good thing, he confronted me about it, in such a harsh way, that I came back to my senses.
Meanwhile, seeing how he slowly turned into a monster when he was already in college, trying to fight and pursue his dreams, I despised him and promised myself not to be like him just for the sake of achieving my goals. But there were points in my life where I became like him too, because of these ambitious dreams.
I am not that close with my brother, just like other siblings who get to talk to each other about personal matters, but we try to get along and help one another just to achieve our dreams for our parents.
If there is one thing we have in common, it's that we have big dreams and huge goals for ourselves and for our parents, and I admire him for fighting for every dream that he wants to become a reality.
Sometimes, I still wonder how it feels like to have a lot of siblings, where you could run to them anytime when you need someone to talk to. Or how it feels like to have a huge family. This is probably one of the reasons why I want to have 2 to 3 kids in the future, so my children will not feel like they are alone in this world. Hahaha! 🤣
I feel like I've been living alone because of feeling like an only child, but it's also a good thing that I have a few good friends who are like my siblings from other mothers. They're the blessings that I treasure in my life.
We only lacked a fighting ring, that's what my mother used to say, there wasn't a moment of rest at home, only when I was at school, dogs and cats get along well, but not siblings. As adults there are no fights and everyone is very united, each one in their home... maybe that's why?... Hahaha...