To whom much is given, much shouldn't be expected

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2 years ago

"To whom much is given, much is expected". This is among one of the most popular statements among the population that is often used to address a situation about give and take. Well, I'm going to address the above topic from a slit different angle.

Countless times, I have heard men and women alk about a friend/ relative who they had rendered a tremendous assistance in the past. They often become shock and bitter when such a friend fail to reciprocate their kindness if the tables were turned. This makes the individual to feel cheated and the unpleasant situation would linger far too long in their minds, making such a person bitter and resentful whenever they remember the person who had "betrayed" them.

This attitude of "rub my back and I rub yours when the need arises" often leads to animosity and hatred between two individuals and even between two families. I have seen alot of selfish folks render unsolicited help to others and would later use it as a weapon against the beneficiary in the future. As time goes on, they would want the other person to always agree with them on every issue irrespective even when they wrong . What's worse, they would want the other person to live their life according to their dictates .This could later become unbearable for the other person who would one day declare that they have had enough and walk away from such a malignant friendship or partnership.

Expecting too much from others because of whatever favor you have done for them in the past is simply unfair. Personally, I don't get to achieve or accomplish alot of the things I had expected from myself, so why would i expect so much from others irrespective of my closeness with them, especially when they have their own lives to sort out.

I believe that we all had assisted a pauper on the streets with food, money or clothing recently. Would you be looking forward to the person reciprocating the kindness if you eventually become in need of financial assistance tomorrow? Ofcourse not. Infact, the destitute would be the last person that would ever cross your mind if you decide to go seek help. This is because you have helped him with no strings attached. You did it out of the goodness of your heart . You did it because you felt like, not because you had to. This is the type of mindset we should cultivate when we are about to render a favor to anyone. Ofcourse, you could decide not to help or even look in that person's direction, and no one would hold you responsible. If you fail to help, some other passerby will.

If you are the kind of person that can't help being emotional or upset whenever people don't help you the way you have helped them in the past, then you shouldn't take special effort or cause inconveniences to yourself when helping others. Chances are that the other person wouldn't bend backwards for you when you step into similar shoes in the future. This might cause you alot pain because too much expectations on others often results in regrets.

I know of a man who put his life on hold when he decided to sponsor his younger brother through school. He was banking on the fact that when his brother had graduated and got a good job, he would help take care of his own children and their education. But guess what, as soon as the young man got a job, he started saving and planning towards his own wedding. This arrangement did not sit well with the older man. He knew that when his brother gets married, he would definitely care less about his nephews and nieces and focus on building his own family. He couldn't convince his younger brother to delay his marriage a little longer. In summary, the relationship between the two men deteriorated badly and the older man felt cheated. Once in a while, I hear him telling his neighbors how evil humans can be whenever he recounts what has happened between him and his brother to anyone who cared to listen. Lol

Ofcourse, it might seem quite difficult at first if you decide not to go out of your way to help, but believe me you are not as good as you think . No one is perfect.. Also, you are not as bad as others might make you think. They would definitely get over it and everyone would be just fine..

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Thanks for reading 🙏🙏🙏🙏

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2 years ago

Comments

This is a very essential topic, the mentality has to change coz literally a person shouldn’t give with the intention of taking advantage of the next person.. fine it feels not so good when i had maybe giving out something that belongs to me and yet the person I give it to don’t appreciate it.. I’ve been under this influence before, and it was until I returned everything I had my freedom..

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's true sir. In most cases, God will definitely bless you from another source you least expected. If other people don't appreciate our kindness, God does, and would definitely reward us for it.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I feel this goes both ways actually. It's better to give without expecting anything in return but at the same time, there are people that tend to abuse that privilege. Some people just love to take and when the tables are turned and it's time to give to the person that has always been there for them, they chicken out. I personally don't expect anything from anyone, I lower my expectations because I know disappointments are sometimes inevitable

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's true bro. When we realise someone's character then we will definitely know how to handle the.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

When one wants to help, they shouldn't expect anything back, that's the real help, I can't even count the number of people I have helped and when I ask, and they don't have, I would just believe they dont have cause if they really do, I dont believe they won't help back, and if they have and they don't help back, that's their own problem, but my mind is that, they dont have, and I have peace within myself.. I remember when a Lady helped me with 1k when I was broke, and it was time for me to help her, she requested for 5k but I could only help with 3k, and she resented me cause I couldn't give her 5k, she was like, I know you have, how do you know ?😫😫, since then, I really don't ask people for help, I will work until I get that thing I need, even if I have to walk 12mile😤

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Lol. People and entitlement mentality.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Also, I can see you're catching up with the number of my sub's, twale mama

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hehehehehe.... Na God o

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This attitude of "rub my back and I rub yours when the need arises" often leads to animosity and hatred between two individuals and even between two families. I have seen alot of selfish folks render unsolicited help to others and would later use it as a weapon against the beneficiary in the future. As time goes on, they would want the other person to always agree with them on every issue irrespective even when they wrong .

We call that "utang na loob" or loosely translated debt of gratitude. Indeed it's a negative trait that we shouldn't have.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It's not good at all. Such character is quite uncivilized and petty

$ 0.00
2 years ago

What's worse, they would want the other person to live their life according to their dictates

This statement is just what is happening in my family. My Aunts wants to keep dictating our lives for us because they are the one helping us in terms of education. I remembered when I wanted to go to school after gaining admission for my degree, they declined that they won't support me if I do not heed to what they are saying. Telling me they do not like the school I chose. I didn't listen but with the help of God and my Big Sis, I am now a graduate. They were later sending me tips when they saw how I was fairing and doing fine.

When we help, we shouldn't do it because we expect in return from them. Do it because you want to do it.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's true sis. When we help others because if humanity, then we will definitely have peace of mind and God will crown our efforts. I dunno why alot of people are fond of this, especially in our country

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Most times, kindness isn't reciprocated by those you have shown kindness but by someone else. It is like a pyramid scheme. With that said, don't show kindness to others with the hope that it will be reciprocated

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly what I had noticed. You would definitely be blessed from where you never expected.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Most time people only help you so that they can use you in the future. To me I don't think that's help at all because there is an underlying Hidden motive that is devilish.

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2 years ago

I rather remain the way i am then accept such assistance.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Well, when you help someone and prefer them to yourself, you will certainly expect to find them reaching out to you when you need them. If he does not, of course, you will feel bad. We do not help so that they will return our help, but we will certainly hope that the people we helped will help us.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's true Doc. We could only hope that they could reciprocate the gesture but we shouldn't entirely rely on the fact. We should always render assistance because it's the right thing to do.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Love shared is meant to be reciprocated but it shouldn't be a reason for someone you've helped to support you in all spheres. At a stage both of you ought to have differences in thinking. For the old man you talked about, I really feel for him. He should have discussed his intentions with his younger brother before making such investment.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You're right. The thought of 'give me, I give you' is one of those toxic stuff we've found a way to rationalize in our society today. It's not right

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Especially in an African setting.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You got that right

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I love the way God crested me because I found myself totally different from how people depend and expect things from people. Even if it's $0.01 you're given out, pls do it without expecting anything in return. Expecting a return of favour would temper on your heart when the expected treat/favour didn't come.

The law of giving and receiving didn't state the source of receiving must be by the person the help was rendered to.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's true. Anyone who expects so much from others sets his or herself up for disappointment.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

True words. The feeling of entitlements and this give me I give you back mentality should be stopped. I guess this is why most people encounter disappointment. There is this saying 'expect disappointment from people so you won't be disappointed when they turn out to be bad'

$ 0.02
2 years ago

This is definitely true. Some people don't even trust themselves, so trusting them would be quite a bad idea.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's true.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Truth is, I do expect the love I show to people to be reciprocated to me, but I've learnt otherwise, especially from the example you made as regards the beggars on the street. I really should learn how to freely give without expecting a reciprocated kindness.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I also remember that analogy too when ever I feel upset. We are humans and we all have different hearts and minds.

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2 years ago

Dear Bilqees, I totally agree with you. I have always believed in life that in order to achieve peace, one should not expect others, and as much as I can, to help those I love, and those who need my help.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's true Ellen. We should always only depend on our creator for our needs

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2 years ago