Gifts.

All day long good mood, joy and happiness when someone gives you an unexpected gift. A postcard, a chocolate or something necessary and useful - it doesn't matter. A gift is always a good feeling. So who is willing to refuse willingly?

Many people are convinced that a gift is a sign of conscientiousness and good will. All parties are advised to give gifts to all without distinction to create a positive impression of themselves and establish a friendly (or less friendly) relationship.

But if in personal communication between ordinary people it can be as described above, it is different between a boss and a subordinate. Receiving a gift from a superior is dangerous and can have far-reaching consequences. And we are not talking about corruption at this point. 

The point is that no one gives free gifts in business and in human resource management. Remember: no one, ever! It is a psychological ploy with far-reaching consequences and certainly not a sign of good behaviour and generosity.

Need examples? Okay. Chew gum on the bill after dinner at a restaurant. You think that's customer service? No, it's not. No, it's not. He's trying to convince the customer to tip him more. Candy at counters in banks and businesses isn't about customer service either. Candy has a positive effect on morale and there is a high probability that a customer influenced by candy will request more service than originally planned.

In psychology, this is known as the principle of reciprocal exchange. One of those who made it popular was Dale Carnegie, who promoted the rule of "give first and receive in return" in almost all his works. But Carnegie was not its inventor. In fact, many rulers, and not just since the founding of the world, have applied this principle.

The principle of reciprocal exchange is the universal principle of acceptance. In other words, it works almost always and everywhere. And interestingly, we observe it very rarely.

The principle of mutual exchange makes us feel indebted to the giver. You gave us candy? We owe them a treat in return. Invited to tea? We should invite them back. And so on, ad infinitum. 

The most unpleasant thing about this principle is the unequal exchange. Today they have given us a chocolate, tomorrow they will ask us for a much more expensive favour. And it will be hard to refuse, because the sudden pleasure has left pleasant memories and feelings. Now we feel that we are indebted to this person internally. 

The manager who gives gifts to his subordinates often starts from the same principle. They give their employees fruit, candy, lunch or other treats. He brings souvenirs from trips and small nice things. The subordinates are delighted. Behind their backs or in their eyes, they admire the generosity of their superiors. Romance is followed by responsibility.

How can you refuse such a good boss's request to stay late after work or go out on his statutory day off? It's that good! He loves you, takes care of you, feeds you and gives you gifts. 

See the odd exchange in action: you have to work on your day off to get chocolate or a thingy. And the more often employees get souvenirs and sweets, the more obedient they feel. 

It also leads to employees not being able to leave a manager because internally they feel they haven't worked through all the magnets and cookies. Working conditions are becoming increasingly intolerable, wages have not changed in the last decade and workers are stuck in their jobs. They work on the gifts.

It is possible to resist pressure from your boss if you understand your true motives. It's more expensive to work weekends. Overtime must be paid. And no one asked for gifts. It's his goodwill. You don't owe him anything.

Photo: pixels.com

I thank God for his help in writing this article, and you, dear readers, praise him if your reading has been helpful to you.

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Good luck to you readers read.cash🖐

15.02.2022.

@Belozoriana