@wakeupkitty
more from that month
Respect
**How come she is different?** I don't believe she is my mother. We do not have the same looks and she hates me for a reason. It must be a good one. Perhaps I am adopted. She always says I need to be grateful. "Grateful" I hate the word and I do not see anything to be grateful for. I do not like and can not eat the food, I spend days in the hospital, my days at home are filled with fear. If you never know what will happen the next minute you are in trouble. **The housekeeper left.** She said she will get married and there's someone new. She's young but not my friend either. If you are me you do not make friends. It's dangerous and you cannot invite someone. Today Francoise asked me about spending the holidays with her grandparents in Belgium again. I don't know why she asks me because at school we hardly speak. Addy and Wim and some other boys play with me if they have time. Caroline is nice too but they do not live in my neighborhood. **I will ask if I can go to Belgium.** Francoise her mom is kind and it cannot be worse as staying home. I don't know how to ask so I will after we are and I cleaned up. The only thing that can happen is she scolds at me again and beats me to death. I don't mind if she does, it wouldn't be the first time. Death... it's better as being in this house with this person. I cannot tell Francoise or other people because no one will believe me. My mother says the blue spots are because I am clumsy and I always lie. I am sick. If a dog is sick it's put out of its misery. That's how people call it. Dogs are lucky, they are put out of their misery and they dare to defend themselves. *"Respect your parents*", is what my grandmother preaches. She says it's written in the Bible. That book filled with murders and phrases that don't make sense. Stories where criminals are rewarded and good people ignored. I didn't tell my grandmother I no longer pray. Why should I ask for help from someone who doesn't exist? *I feel safe if he's with me. He watches over me, stands at the foot end of my bed. All dressed in black. He's the only friend I have and I am happy he is with me.* June 15, 2020 Angry https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/angry-2c2a597c#comment-0f631be8
#kittywu #diary #childhood
35 comments
I can see my childhood in your story too if there are things that make us in common is that our childhood is terrifying.
Than we can flock together and use it in a creative way. Thank you for reading and commenting. 🍀💕
Yes that's why I subscribed you way back after reading some of your diaries because I can sense or I can see myself in the same situation 💕
You must be in a really bad situation. I am sad to hear all this things are actually happening plus the pandemic that the world is experiencing. I hope you'll be fine though, and about your mother, habe you talk things out or she's always like that?
My mother is and was always like that. At first it's normal till you meet other people and different mom's. Real moms.
Having that kind of toxic connection with your own mother, I wish that you are fine. AND don't let anything that is going on your mind drown you.
I hope you are okay. I am saddened by the article I read from you.
My life is better than it ever was but it doesn't take the damage done away. There's no need to feel sad dear. Thanks for reading and commenting. 💕
I feel sad about your childhood stories. I hope you are fine now. Don't look back on your past and see the future ahead for you. Don't ever think about it again. I'm apologising for my mistakes to you. I thought you are insulting other writers here that they can't write a good article. Now I know why. You have a bad memories before. And I respect you from that.
Hello really great article. Also great notification to us❤️
Hi @wakeupkitty, may I know if it's your own childhood memories? I felt sad about it. You have the same situation like my friend. Her mother always curse her to death, but when she treat us as friend of her daughter she was nice but when she and her daughter only she gets different. Bit I always say to my friend that no matter what happens she is your parents you mom, you must respect her.. I hope and pray that your mom will change. Pray for her. I may not like you, I didn't Experienced that to my parents, but I feel you.
Yes, this is my story, my mother and no, it never became better actually only worse. My mother will not change, never. I heard terrible stories about what she did, met adults crying in a shop as they asked me if she... And they only met her for a short time. My mother is the same. Can be very charming, nice to strangers and fools everyone. I am sorry for your friend. I hope she will survive this.
My childhood memories are way different than yours. I cannot imagine my life being you but I am glad that you are still alive despite all the suffering. You might hate the word grateful but I am grateful to be given the chance to get to know you.
Indeed I hate the word "grateful" but I am happy I met you and hope you will cherish the good memories. You deserve them and a great life. 💕
You too deserve the best in life.
It is sad that your mothers actions made your childhood miserable. I'm really tat a loss of words for how to comment here
Your comment is good enough this way. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time. 💕
This is so cruel and sad...Why would a mom beat her daughter to death? That's heart broken.
Because that is the person she is. She loves it when she can make people fear her and cry... She never wanted children.
yet she had kids, and as we know, kids doesn't choose to come to this life by themselves. Your mom should had realised that and took care of you instead of treating her daughter like trash, making you feel unwanted.
My mother beat me if I commit a mistake with a stick or a branch of a guava tree that is her way of disciplining so fear was in me to commit a mistake. But there was no hatred for her, I took care of her in her old days and sadden when she leaves because a mother is always a mother.
Perhaps the difference is she punished because of a mistake. Mine does because she likes it or is angry with someone else. I will never take care of her. I do not want her near me or my children.
In our house we are used to my mother yelling, shouting, and voice it sounds like a music in our ear. We are used to it up until now. She always do that whenever she is angry but after a while she will go back to be the most wonderful mother in the world.
It sounds to me your mother is ventilating and after that she is herself again. My granny could be like that. My mother loves to be angry, punish, is mean. That is her true self unfortunately.
My mother is an angry person. She angry with me for my mistakes and scold me. But I respect her. Because she is my mother.
It is hard to have an angry mother. I assume something changed her into such a person. My mother is not only angry but she enjoys it if other people suffer and are in pain. She makes you suffer 24/7 just for fun.
I came to understand some parents the day I started being invited to family meetings. Before then, I would feel that the only thing they were good at was yelling, but now, my perspective has changed. Once I realised my mom loved me and I figured it was true and genuine love(even if she has a weird way of showing it), I just decided to live with it. I even know what to say now to pacify her anger. We are like best friends now. I tell her everything, even some bad stuff I do, I still tell her.
It is good to hear you and your mom found a way to understand each other and there is a bond and trust.
Love this article
I understand it, Generally I see that exist many diference in the family and some frustrations they have a bad habit of getting even with one, me too I have lived Since this would be a very long topic to analyze some psychic, karmic aspects and above all learn to see yourself , greetings and sorry for my bad english @wakeupkitty
No need to apologize. I appreciate your comment and words. It indeed is quite a puzzle why things are the way they are. I no longer believe in karma. Since I gave up on that idea the quality of my life increased.
When I was a child when my mother yells at me and hit me I thought she doesnt loved me until I turned to this age. She still cooks for me, washed my clothes when I go home in our hometown. She prepares my towel because taking my bath and still ask me if I crave something and she will cook for it and then I realized that she loved me.
These are things my mother did and will never do. People fear her, she is a monster, still dangerous even to her grandchildren.
you are not an accident, and your mother is your mother for a purpose. Whatever your been throughs, just want you to know that Jesus loves you, if our father and mother have forsaken us, God will be our home. Those people killed in the Bible where the disobedient, but thanks to everything Jesus done on that Cross, He gave His life and shed His blood so we will be save from God’s wrath and it gave us a new living way. Whatever emptiness in your heart right now, God is willing, present and on act to fill it. Sending you my prayers.
Thank you for your kind words. The emptiness will remain but know I appreciate you, your prayers. Blessings for you.