Bad moms raise bad kids.
Really? No, but we love to blame someone for those nasty, little devils that are a burden to the society. It's human to blame and as long as we are focused on someone else's "little" devil there's no need to focus on our own misery.
You are a bad mom if:
Your children have a big mouth and do not show respect. It's the number one and you can count on it if your child cannot lower its voice you are labeled as anti-social too.
If you are breastfeeding too long (3 years and older) people look down on you too.
A fat child means child abuse. It's not cool to be overweight and people are willing to report it to CPS anonymously.
Your child eats unhealthy? You can shake it. A good mom doesn't accept that.
Your child spending too much time in front of the television/computer is another sign of your incompetents as a mother just like children sleeping in your bed
You have a job/work too much or you did not breastfeed at all? Only terrible moms do such a thing.
Do you recognize anything on this list?
For sure with some things, you might agree. Why? Because society raised us with certain values.
We all know health is important and we all love to eat healthy food but what if we can simply not afford it?
Cheap food, food that fills the stomach means in most cases carbohydrates.
Staying home, being a good mom is not realistic if no one pays your bills, and watching television can help a child relax and can be educative too. Not each child likes to play outside, loves to play in a group.
The examples given above are those we care about in a luxury world, an ideal, perfect world but it's not what life is.
A rich person takes a housekeeper or nanny and has her hands free. A poor person does all the work alone no matter how tired she is.
In an ideal world a couple raises children together, family, neighbors give a hand. In the real world, moms deal with it alone next to all those other things family, society expects from her.
Parenting isn't easy.
If a baby is born no one counts with a crybaby, stubborn 3-year-old screaming at the top of its lungs or a nasty, mean teenager.
We all know a fat child isn't necessarily fed with candies only and a skinny child can be unhealthy too, still, we judge. We judge because we are raised this way.
We cannot help it but if we look at someone else's child we see it with different eyes like our own (or a child we might like). We do (judge) the same if it comes to parents.
We know how we would respond and because these parents do it differently we label them as wrong.
The bad mom.
Blaming it all on the woman is what happens from the day on humans exist.
The societies we live in change. In most, women raise alone. No neighbor will take over a mom's job if she is too tired to stand on her feet. No one does unless she does the same back or pays for it.
Moms are humans, they have feelings, get tired, get ill, deal with hormones on a monthly base, feel annoyed, and at times it's easier to give a child what it wants instead of starting the next fight.
Why do we criticize?
Because we feel better if we do. Someone who does worse as wmakees us feel way better about our own (education) skills. Interesting is criticizing happens in most cases by gossiping, behind the back.
Criticizing a mother.
Ask yourself, if there's a need to (should you bother at all?) and it's helpful to criticize a mother. Will it help her and what effect will it have on the child? Keep in mind what you see isn't necessarily happening for a daily routine.
If you cannot keep your mouth shut because a child beats up his mother while you pay her a visit and she keeps smiling it's more helpful to ask some questions (is it tired, doesn't it hurt) instead of telling her she should grab the devil and do the same to it till it begs for mercy.
Most children grow up into fine adults. Watching television for hours a day, sleeping in mom's bed or no breastfeeding didn't turn them into criminals.
What does break people is a family, society, always picking on them, a lack of trust, and self-esteem.
Many mothers know how their children are. A part of the parents is not able to see the real child and has a huge blind spot. Why? Because without that spot a parent would not have given the child a second chance and drowned the monster long before.
"Bad moms" (2016) is a movie that shows what modern mothers have to deal with these days to be seen as a good mom. Those criticizetize them most of all are... mothers.