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Bad moms

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Avatar for wakeupkitty
Written by   736
1 year ago

Bad moms raise bad kids.
Really? No, but we love to blame someone for those nasty, little devils that are a burden to the society. It's human to blame and as long as we are focused on someone else's "little" devil there's no need to focus on our own misery.

You are a bad mom if:
Your children have a big mouth and do not show respect. It's the number one and you can count on it if your child cannot lower its voice you are labeled as anti-social too.
If you are breastfeeding too long (3 years and older) people look down on you too.
A fat child means child abuse. It's not cool to be overweight and people are willing to report it to CPS anonymously.
Your child eats unhealthy? You can shake it. A good mom doesn't accept that.
Your child spending too much time in front of the television/computer is another sign of your incompetents as a mother just like children sleeping in your bed
You have a job/work too much or you did not breastfeed at all? Only terrible moms do such a thing.

Do you recognize anything on this list?
For sure with some things, you might agree. Why? Because society raised us with certain values.

We all know health is important and we all love to eat healthy food but what if we can simply not afford it?

Cheap food, food that fills the stomach means in most cases carbohydrates.

Staying home, being a good mom is not realistic if no one pays your bills, and watching television can help a child relax and can be educative too. Not each child likes to play outside, loves to play in a group.

The examples given above are those we care about in a luxury world, an ideal, perfect world but it's not what life is.
A rich person takes a housekeeper or nanny and has her hands free. A poor person does all the work alone no matter how tired she is.
In an ideal world a couple raises children together, family, neighbors give a hand. In the real world, moms deal with it alone next to all those other things family, society expects from her.



Parenting isn't easy.
If a baby is born no one counts with a crybaby, stubborn 3-year-old screaming at the top of its lungs or a nasty, mean teenager.
We all know a fat child isn't necessarily fed with candies only and a skinny child can be unhealthy too, still, we judge. We judge because we are raised this way.
We cannot help it but if we look at someone else's child we see it with different eyes like our own (or a child we might like). We do (judge) the same if it comes to parents.
We know how we would respond and because these parents do it differently we label them as wrong.


The bad mom.
Blaming it all on the woman is what happens from the day on humans exist.
The societies we live in change. In most, women raise alone. No neighbor will take over a mom's job if she is too tired to stand on her feet. No one does unless she does the same back or pays for it.

Moms are humans, they have feelings, get tired, get ill, deal with hormones on a monthly base, feel annoyed, and at times it's easier to give a child what it wants instead of starting the next fight.

Why do we criticize?
Because we feel better if we do. Someone who does worse as wmakees us feel way better about our own (education) skills. Interesting is criticizing happens in most cases by gossiping, behind the back.



Criticizing a mother.
Ask yourself, if there's a need to (should you bother at all?) and it's helpful to criticize a mother. Will it help her and what effect will it have on the child? Keep in mind what you see isn't necessarily happening for a daily routine.



What if...
If you cannot keep your mouth shut because a child beats up his mother while you pay her a visit and she keeps smiling it's more helpful to ask some questions (is it tired, doesn't it hurt) instead of telling her she should grab the devil and do the same to it till it begs for mercy.


Most children grow up into fine adults. Watching television for hours a day, sleeping in mom's bed or no breastfeeding didn't turn them into criminals.
What does break people is a family, society, always picking on them, a lack of trust, and self-esteem.


Many mothers know how their children are. A part of the parents is not able to see the real child and has a huge blind spot. Why? Because without that spot a parent would not have given the child a second chance and drowned the monster long before.

"Bad moms" (2016) is a movie that shows what modern mothers have to deal with these days to be seen as a good mom. Those criticizetize them most of all are... mothers.



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Avatar for wakeupkitty
Written by   736
1 year ago
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Comments

I am a mother, and raising children is not easy, but with patience you can, you have to teach them the values so that they apply them in daily life, be very vigilant, if you last a long time watching television, check if what you see is according to their age, blocking those programs that it is not recommended that the child watch, correcting it in time, will avoid many problems, we do that we are not bad mothers.

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1 year ago

Thank you for your tips if it comes to this subject.

Correcting in time is a good start but will it pretend a child to turn into a bad person? Children go to school, meet other people, ate raised by teachers, neighbors and...

Can the mom be blamed if the child is bad?

I started a community "Parenting".

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1 year ago

@wakeupkitty, I can help you, if you allow me in the community what do you say?

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1 year ago

That would be great. My connection is very slow. I see if I can add you. Thanks fear. 👍💕

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1 year ago

@wakeupkitty gracias, lee las actualizaciones nuevas de hoy ,activa el detector ya, donde eres admunistradora por favor con el se detecta el plagio, gracias a Dios llegaste

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1 year ago

Lo leeré. No te estreses. Todos quieren unirse a las comunidades ahora. ¡Lea atentamente y no agregue todo! Tiene que ser un buen artículo. Hay muchas comunidades para unirse. Tienes mi correo electronico?

Las comunidades: Freewriting, Psychology, Parenting.

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1 year ago

no, i asked today, i am waiting for the friend to send it to me

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1 year ago

Very nice and useful article from your side. This wull be an eye opeing for some people wjo read this

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1 year ago

It is for all of us. We all have been a child, we all have parents and each one of us is raised by way more than our mother only. Teachers, government, neighbors, friends are all a part in it plus our character is part of how we develop too.

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1 year ago

Yes it is and for those who are on theire wrong way of being a mom

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1 year ago

It's not written for mothers...

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1 year ago

I think mother is the best teacher for a children.. Every children learn from mother first, what is good and bad.. So.

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1 year ago

There can teach them too and so do grandparents, siblings as long as we share the same values and care. 👍💕

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1 year ago

Yep...right my dear.. We learn more from our family.. If we get good family and environment,, we will learn good..

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1 year ago

We must be aware of the people who relate to our children, we have to talk to our children, if the child comes to your house with something stolen and you allow it, when he becomes an adult he will be a bad person, you have to correct on time I would consider the mother a bad mother if she does not.

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1 year ago

I had a foster child. He stole an apple from a shop. I told him to give it back. The shopkeeper said: You can keep it. What did this child just learn?

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1 year ago

You should not have allowed the child to keep the apple, because it had been stolen, from the owner of the store, who gave it to him, that does not matter, what he learned is that he can take what belongs to someone else.

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1 year ago

Exactly that is what the child would have learned if I had allowed it. I did not. The kid was not allowed to have it from me. Stolen is stolen and bad behavior should not be rewarded. Strange enough bad behavior is frequently rewarded. The shop owner said he could keep it because the boy was so honest to tell him. The boy was not honest, did not show courage but went back because I told him and he was smart enough to understand I would punish him if he did not.

What I mean to say is that other people, outsiders, do raise your child too. As a mother, you do not always know who says what and in which way the outside world influences your child. You can not (always) blame the parent for the behavior of someone.

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1 year ago

How do I contact you? I want to ask you something?

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1 year ago

You can send me a Gmail or msn?

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1 year ago

give me the email address please and the msn to where?

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1 year ago

My account name or ask @heartbeat1515 for my address

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1 year ago

ah ok I ask @ heartbeat1515 to get me your email so I can write to you.

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1 year ago

Great to see you here @wakeupkitty

upvoted

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1 year ago

Thank you for welcoming me. 👍

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1 year ago

As a mother its full of responsibility she care ,teach children and help in school education and help to compare between bad and good guys. she morally developing child and many more responsibility to take care of family so can't say that all mother is bad mom

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1 year ago

This article does not says all mothers are bad. It's about the fact people, the society and frequently men/husbands too blame the mothers if a child behaves bad or turns into a criminal.

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1 year ago

A bad mom is a bad mom. It took heart to have a bad mom.

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1 year ago

What if the mother is good and the child still grows up bad?

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1 year ago

you have to correct on time I would consider the mother a bad mother if she does not.Exactly that is what the child would have learned if I had allowed it. I did not. The kid was not allowed to have it from me. Stolen is stolen and bad behavior should not be rewarded. Strange enough bad behavior is frequently rewarded. The shop owner said he could keep it because the boy was so honest to tell him. The boy was not honest, did not show courage but went back because I told him and he was smart enough to understand I would punish him if he did not.

What I mean to say is that other people, outsiders, do raise your child too. As a mother, you do not always know who says what and in which way the outside world influences your child. You can not (always) blame the parent for the behavior of someone.

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1 year ago

I agree the mother is not 24/7 present. Children learn from others too. This includes bad behavior.

From a certain age on a child decided itself and can still turn into a criminal. Who do we blame for that?

Thanks for adding some good points. 👍💕

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1 year ago

Very well said..your thoughts are amazing..keep writing more articles

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1 year ago

Inspiite of the fact that I like and concur to this piece of work.i still think that the God-factor also help in achieving good parenting.

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1 year ago

You need to believe in God. Otherwise it won't help you.

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1 year ago

I have someone close to me that when she come to my house, she would always says... "poor child. You are always kept locked or tie to a pole because you are naughty. Poor child." And she kept on repeating the sentence. I know she doesn't mean any harm but her words hurt me deeply. I didn't mean to tie my child to a pole. I did that to keep her safe while I do the house chores. She have not started to listen yet. I feel bad. Stress.Tired.

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1 year ago

If this is the only way to keep your child safe do it. I know in some countries children walk on a leash. That isn't common with us but it's better than losing them.

My children were easy. They slept twice a day. Sat w.ith a phonebook and ate it or slept on the floor when I was at work. We do what we can and each child is different.

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1 year ago

We just have to bear with people words I guess. They will never know why we did it and just say anything that comes into their mind. I am still doing it as long as my child is safe. she is my only one, I cannot lose her. I will do anything I can for her. I do wish there are more people with great understanding out there or perhaps I just need a stronger hearts.

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1 year ago

They have tunnel vision and for sure do things you would consider for dangerous. Your girl is a happy one, no fears, and very active if it comes to discovering the world. Even at night. Next time that lady shows up and says it ask her what makes her think your child is unhappy, a poor thing?

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1 year ago

Parenting is not something which is easy.For being a good mom you have to take care of childs with lots of love..you have to pay attention ot babies every deeds.if he/she grows up and do something which is not right you can't be angry with her/him.You have to understand your child and make him/her realize that it's not good...you have to be open minded if you want to rise your child with good values

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1 year ago

This mother did not want children. She hates the child and has no time to take care of it. If you do not like to have a child and want all attention for you it's hard to be friendly.

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1 year ago