Kako nastaviti život dalje kao sav normalan svet oko vas u momentu kada vam se ruši ceo svet? Da li ustati ujutru ili se samo okrenuti na drugu stranu i ignorisati i Sunce i ljude oko vas? Možda skratiti muke i potonuti u tamu smrti, staviti tačku na sve?!
How to continue living like the whole normal world around you at a time when your whole world is collapsing? Do you get up in the morning or just turn the other way and ignore both the Sun and the people around you? Maybe shorten the torment and sink into the darkness of death, put an end to everything ?!
Sve su ovo pitanja koja dobuju u glavi posle tragičnog gubitka voljene osobe. Život nije stao ni sekunde iako je vama sve stalo. Ujutru svane novi dan i taj dan ima svoj kraj ali opet sledi početak i sve tako u nedogled. Gledate svet oko sebe i ne vidite nikakav razlog da poželite naredni dan. Obuzima vas neka zlosutna tmina i otupelost.
These are all questions that come to mind after the tragic loss of a loved one. Life didn't stop for a second even though you cared about everything. A new day dawns in the morning and that day has its end, but the beginning follows again and so on indefinitely. You look at the world around you and see no reason to wish for the next day. You are overwhelmed by ominous darkness and numbness.
Radite automatski ono što vam vaši govore. Ne rezonujete šta je od svega toga uopšte realno i da li ima ikakvog smisla da baš to uradite. Prve reakcije na vaše stanje je da ste nemoćni i iznureni. Ne pružate nikakve reakcije i čitav vaš organizam se ponaša kao da je mrtav. Jedini dokazi da ste stvarno živi su potreba za snom i hranom.
Do automatically what your people tell you. You do not resonate which of all this is realistic at all and whether there is any sense in doing just that. The first reaction to your condition is that you are helpless and exhausted. You do not give any reactions and your whole organism acts as if it is dead. The only evidence that you are alive is the need for sleep and food.
Jedino pitanje koje se provlači kroz kriziranje je gde naći utehu. To je dokaz da organizam počinje borbu da sve vrati u pređašnje stanje. Mnogi naučnici navode čak vremenske periode koliko dugo čovek tuguje i davi se u tminama svoje psihe, ali sve je to pitanje jer koliko ljudi toliko i ćudi. Svako ima svoje tajminge. Svako različito reaguje na gubitak. Nekog gubitak tera na aktivnosti do iznemoglosti. Dok drugi ljudi polako kopne daveći se u sopstvenoj tuzi.
The only question that runs through the crisis is where to find solace. This is proof that the organism begins to struggle to return everything to its previous state. Many scientists even state the periods for how long a person mourns and drowns in the darkness of his psyche, but it is all a question because as many people crave as much. Everyone has their timings. Everyone reacts differently to a loss. Some lose their activities to exhaustion. While other people slowly land, drowning in their grief.
Razlog za život možete uvek naći u svojoj okolini samo ako imate želju za životom. Sitne radosti koje vam vaši bližnji pružaju u porodičnim okupljanjima mnogo znače. Podrška porodice je najbitnija u procesu emotivnog oporavka. Razgovori, zajedničko ispijanje kafe ili čaja, planiranja raznorazna, pa čak i odlazak u običnu šetnju na psihu deluje kao najprijatnija masaža.
You can always find a reason to live in your environment only if you have a desire to live. The small joys that your loved ones give you in family gatherings mean a lot. Family support is paramount in the process of emotional recovery. Conversations, drinking coffee or tea together, various planning, and even going for a simple walk on the psyche seem like the most pleasant massage
Sve ovo nisam kopirala sa stranica nekih čuvenih psihologa već je moje lično iskustvo. Borim se sa tugom već osam i po godina. Dođe tako jutro kada mi se oči neotvaraju i poželim da me nema ali cika i galama moje dece me prenu i vrate u život kao da sam ispaljena iz katapulta. Bum i kreće ringišpil zvani sasvim običan dan. Priznajem nekada davno bila sam željna dosadnih i običnih dana kada jedino čudo koje se desi je komšijska mačka koja skoči na moj prozor jureći goluba.
I did not copy all this from the pages of some famous psychologists, but it is my personal experience. I have been struggling with grief for eight and a half years. There comes a morning when my eyes do not open and I wish I was gone, but the squeals and noises of my children startle me and bring me back to life as if I had been fired from a catapult. Boom and moving carousel called quite an ordinary day. I admit once upon a time I was longing for boring and ordinary days when the only miracle that happens is a neighbor’s cat jumping on my window chasing a pigeon.
Borite se ljudi. Vaš život nije samo vaš. Uvek ima onih koji su životom vezani za vas. Zavise od vašeg raspoloženja i pomoći. Zahvalna sam što ih imam i što me drže iznad ponora zvani depresija. A za depresiju vezuju me samo tužne uspomene. Njih ne možemo da izbrišemo ali možemo da ih savladamo i da živimo normalno u onoj meri koliko smo spretni da sve to savladamo.
Znači život je u stvari borba. I ne treba stati nikada.
Fight people. Your life is not just yours. There are always those who are bound to you by life. It depends on your mood and help. I am grateful to have them and to keep me above the abyss called depression. And only sad memories bind me to depression. We cannot erase them, but we can overcome them and live normally to the extent that we are able to overcome them all.
So life is actually a struggle. And you should never stop.
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