First of all, I believe that it is important to teach children the value of effective communication to resolve their conflicts. This is because this type of aptitude for dialogue gives us the possibility of creating and protecting a framework of mutual respect. Communication is present in any social situation and the way we communicate is decisive, especially in conflict situations with children. It is advisable to show children a healthy, respectful and clear way of communicating with themselves and with others, which allows them to peacefully regulate their conflicts. An honest expression of what is happening, what we feel, what we need and what we ask from the other person in order to satisfy everyone's needs. This model is applicable from the time children are young.
In addition, it is an educational tool to use with the youngest in the house and also with adults, who are their learning models. It allows us to listen attentively, express ourselves sincerely, empathize, detect behaviors that affect us, as well as identify and express clearly what we expect from a situation. It is the appropriate strategy to resolve conflicts through assertiveness and active listening, and thus meet the needs of all, asking ourselves, for example, what lies behind what we say and do. Empathy is the ability to perceive the inner and experiential world of other people, therefore, it is the root of emotional communication and positive relationships with others.
It also means listening with our whole being to what we are observing, feeling, needing and asking for, in order to put ourselves in the other person's place, understand their perspective and act accordingly in an assertive and coherent manner. It is important to keep these premises in mind when managing conflicts between children and adolescents. There are many dynamics or methodologies to teach children these assertive communication skills, thus eradicating violent communication. Children learn by playing and we can use the game to our advantage to practice. Some simple suggestions to work on empathic communication would be role-playing with different characters, working with theater techniques, using drawings, pictograms, colors and posters to express emotions, guided imagination techniques, elaborating cards of feelings and needs.
Also, take care of the language we use with and in front of children, since words have a significant impact on them. Using positive language free of judgments or prejudices will open the doors to greater understanding and cooperation. As adults, we must remain attentive to the way we communicate, analyze our verbal and nonverbal language, study our emotions and reactions. All of this means being present with children. Do not act thinking about what the child did yesterday, but focus on the lesson we want to teach now. Being explicit with what we say or ask and, above all, not rejecting the child if a behavior is not to our liking, but rejecting the behavior and not the person.
In conclusion, communication serves to learn and to think. Children use communication to learn about the world, to relate to other people, to express themselves, to think and to develop their ideas. Without some form of communication, a child's mind and abilities cannot fully develop. In addition, being able to communicate properly with your children will help you teach them the importance of assertiveness in interpersonal relationships and how essential it is to have trust and affection between people in order to get along. Although it may seem obvious, not all children learn this for different reasons such as poor communication with parents, dysfunctional families or bad examples to follow in terms of educational style. If you teach your children that their opinion is important and that besides listening to them, they should also listen to you because their opinion matters.
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