To be similar or complementary, perhaps it is best to say that any relationship requires flexibility and openness. Similarity in some aspects and complementarity in others. While some think that "opposites attract," others want to avoid major differences at all costs to prevent conflict. The truth is that both positions have a reasonable basis. Those who think that it is better to have a relationship with someone who is different, and therefore complementary, believe that, for example, two irritable people will end up clashing. Those who are inclined to look for a partner similar to themselves point out that differences sooner or later create rifts. There are also those who take an intermediate position. In their view, the point is not really that the two are similar or complementary, but that they are similar in the right ways.
In that sense, when a person does not have a very positive opinion of himself, he will often be attracted to those who are different. He will see in the other an opportunity to project or materialize something he would like to be, without achieving it. For example, someone feels that he or she goes unnoticed and seeks to make his or her partner very popular. In addition, there is the case of those who more than a partner seek a symbiosis to move forward. The typical scenario is that of an insecure and fearful person, who needs the strength of another to protect him or her or give him or her the necessary support. In principle, this is not negative if it fosters growth. But if it fosters dependence, it becomes unhealthy. All indications are that sometimes people are attracted to what is different. This generates curiosity and is seen as an opportunity to explore new emotional territory.
However, over time what was a novelty starts to become a barrier. Differences then take on a negative value. The dilemma is that similar or complementary is a bit contrived. There is no way we will find either a partner who matches us completely or someone who perfectly complements the gaps or needs in our world. In reality, each person both reaffirms and contrasts us at the same time. That is why the alternatives are somewhat illusory. Even so, there will always be aspects in which the partners will have to compromise. The most stable couples are those who are able to be flexible with respect to each other. Differences between partners are healthy.
Well, a good part of the affective life has to do with how much space is given to these differences. When these differences are few and small, there is a great probability that this will be achieved satisfactorily and in the long term. If the differences are very deep, there is a greater likelihood that the negotiation will be complicated. Similar in essence and complementary based on voluntary and conscious agreements. Finally, that is what love is all about: finding a balance between self-affirmation and contributing to the reaffirmation of the other. They are a factor that contributes to mutual growth. At the beginning of any relationship, love and the desire to be together surely allow to overcome any disagreement, however, with the passage of time, these mismatches increase.
In conclusion, beyond personal desire or will, complying with social norms in a competitive environment (work, home, raising children, education) distances couples, diluting the union in a larger context: the family. From the point of view of current cultural conditions, affinities may prove to be a more effective form of connection to share projects. Those couples with different tastes and activities will have the commitment to increase the moments of communication and reduce the use of technological means so as not to isolate themselves any more, that is, so as not to shut themselves up in their own problems. Another factor to take into account is the different personalities that make up a union. If there is flexibility in personality traits we can infer.
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In a love or friendship relationship, complementarity is an indispensable factor so that the relationship remains good and lasting. but not a few people in the world who can not do it.