"I Ended up Hurting Myself for Expecting Too Much"

"All I want is a good guy. Are my expectations far too high?..." Are you familiar with this song lyrics? Its from a song entitled, "All I want" by Olivia Rodrigo. I even made a TikTok content of this song. I sung it in acapella while I was in my bed, thinking about the things that I have been through since past few days. I'm a kind of embarrassed because before I recorded that content I was crying, that is why I was out of tune. For some of you here who visited my TikTok account, I bet you have watched it already.

What it takes to be a good guy? Or let me say, what are my standards that considers a man, a good one.

Someone who will accept ALL my flaws.

- That man should love for who and what I am, both my good and bad side. Someone who will accept me WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Someone who will accept my status. I mean, how I live my life. And most especially, someone who will RESPECT MY FAMILY.

Someone who will not make me jealous with other girls.

- That man should know his limits. I mean, when I say that I don't want him to go near with other girls, I don't want him to follow this or that girl because I get jealous, he should do it. I want a man that will respect and understand how I feel. I don't want to keep repeating myself that I get jealous, especially because I am his girl. (If he really thinks about me as his girl) He should avoid those things which can trigger my jealousy or insecurities.

Someone who will give his time and attention.

- I don't oblige a man to be with me 24/7. Knowing the fact that he might get busy, I can understand that. But, as a man, if he really think about his girl, whatever excuses it is, he should spare some time with me. He should let me know what is he doing, where did he go and with whom, so that I can be complacent. If he can't chat or call me because his phone out of battery, he should still do his best to find ways to contact me and let me know what happen. "Kahit busy ka pa, kung talagang nag-alala ka sa partner mo, hahanap at hananap ka talaga nang paraan para hindi siya mag-alala sayo."

Someone who will support my dreams.

- I want that man to give me a helping hand. I want him to support me from my ups and downs. Someone that compliments me in my little achievements and someone who will encourage me to keep trying my best.

Someone whom I can Trust my whole life.

- Applying some of the lyrics, "I won't fight for love, if you won't meet me halfway." I want that man to make me feel secure. I want that man to make me feel that I am the most beautiful girl in his world. That I can trust my heart and life to him. I know conflicts and misunderstandings can't be avoided, but I want a man that is an open-minded. I want a man that can't sleep when we had a fight. I want a man that can me a favor and initiates to solve the problem.

Last but definitely not the least;

SOMEONE WHO WILL NOT TAKE ME FOR GRANTED.

- There's no need to explain it further.

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BUT, I thought that someone is MGD. (Crying) I expected too much from him but look at me now, I am just hurting myself. I know, I am to blame because I trusted him too much. I know, I am to blame because I gave everything to him. I know, I am to blame because I loved him so much, to the point that I set aside my dreams and just followed my heart instead using my brain. Maybe he also felt strangled because of my attitude, very bad attitude. That is why, I can't blame him too.

"Ang pangit kasi nang ugali ko. Lagi ako'ng nagagalit kung di siya makapag-reply sa mga chat ko at kung hindi niya sinasagot yung tawag ko. Iniisip ko lagi na may ginagawa siyang kalokohan pag ganun. Kapag nangungulit ako sa kaniya patungkol dun sa kasal, nagagalit siya kasi daw bakit ko siya minamadali, na.pe.pressure na daw siya. Siguro talaga no, nasakal na din siya. Sa side ko naman, hindi ko naman na kasi ma-feel yung assurance. Tas napapatanong nalang ako sa sarili ko kung bakit siya nagalit, natural lang naman yata yun na kulitin ko siya kasi nga engaged na kami tas nagtatabi na matulog. I considered us as Lived-in partners already.

"Sayang lang talaga kung OFFICIALLY mauuwi na kami sa hiwalayan. Imagine, 6 years din kami. Ang dami na din naming napagdaan, both good and bad." (Sigh)

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I don't want him to look bad. I respect his side. Hindi ko magawang magalit sa kaniya, kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na may pagkakamali din ako kung bakit humantong kami sa ganitong sitwasyon. Hindi ko rin naman isasara yung pintuan ko kung may chance pa talaga maresolve ang problema.

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That's it for now my Readcash fam. My apologies for sharing this too personal drama of my life. I want a way to voice out or express myself, I just don't have someone to talk to kasi. Thank you for spending your time. Take good care of yourselves!❣️

PRAISE AND GLORY BE ALL TO GOD!😇

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I want to extend my deepest gratitude towards the people that keep supporting my works in here. To my avid readers, likers, subscribers, and upvoters. As well as my sponsors; (old, new, and renewed ones). Having you as my Readcash family and virtual friends, gives me the an immense sense of satisfaction. Thank for the love and support you have given to me. Thank you for being my everyday inspiration and motivation to keep doing this thing. Thank you for making my Readcash journey fruitful. May the Lord God bless us more fruitful days, months, and years to come!

Special Thanks to @joydigitalsolutions and @SolitaryStar for becoming my new sponsors. God bless you more blessings to come to you and your families.💕

Just Love!❤️

@renren16

xoxo(*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

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|#240| 5th Article of the Month

|04.06.2022 @5:58 PM|

Lead Image source: edited using Pixlab App

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