Random Questions and a cup of coffee...
A series of events had happened in the last few days that have pulled me back to a state of heartache and sadness. The feeling of worthlessness that I have is bigger than before, even now, I feel I keep feeling overlooked no matter what I do or how hard I try.
But that's just life right? Nobody said it would be easy, and I'm not the only person in the world who's feeling like this at this exact same moment. Luckily for me, I have you guys giving me ideas to distract and separate myself from my current feelings and use my mind for something more fulfilling and productive.
Such thing happened yesterday when I came across an article written by @JustMaryel with a fresh batch of Random Questions; that and a good cup of coffee sprung me up and today I'm finally writing some answers, shall we?
Hell yeah! I want to say everything, from getting greeted by a stranger to a Road Trip with some friends. I've been afraid of Aliens, to Robbers, To Drunks and Homeless People, to been afraid of getting my card declined at the store. I'm fearful when it rains too much, or when the wind is too strong and the trees bend almost at the point of breaking. I'm afraid of meeting new people and speaking in public, as well as I'm afraid of getting bitten by a Jellyfish on the beach.
The thing is that we as humans can get past all of those fears and overcome them, so, I haven't seen an Alien (Thank God), but I have stud up to robbers by instinct, that's a story for another day, I walk away when confronted with drunks and homeless people who want to bother me (over here they are quite dangerous), and always check my bank balance before buying stuff, that one is a ritual nowadays.
I can't pinpoint that one, it depends on the subject and all the variables involved, but I can say that many things make me angry. Disloyalty, Dishonesty, Injustice, Abuse of Power, Lies Lies Lies. Although there are plenty of those going around the world, and it's 100 percent out of my control, it still makes me angry to see people going about their lives oblivious of what they do, how they do it, and the impact their actions have on others, and it's hard for me to wrap around my head in the notion that even if I'm loyal, honest, rightful and balanced and with the sense of equality, not all people are like that and there's little I can do about it, hence me being angry.
I have two actually: a slow death and losing my mom and sister.
Death is a part of life and is unavoidable, so a big percentage of people around the world at least once in their life think about how will they die and the people they might lose. For me, seeing my dad slowly dying for years, his body and soul decaying a little bit each day, seeing his illness consume him day in and day out, was the most horrible experience of my life, and worse for him, because the feeling of being powerless affected him so, that at the end he just let himself go and there was nothing we could do about it. I fear that for me and for my loved ones, so when I go, I would want it to be quick and painless.
And in the same context, I can't bear the thought of losing my mom and my sister too, they are all that I have, so...
What is a Wattpad? Hahaha I'm kidding.
Well, I have never used Wattpad because I hate reading on a screen, which might seem a little contradictory because I blog for a living. But it's true, I can't enjoy the content as well as I can enjoy it in a book, newspaper, or magazine. Over here I do my best to focus and read through what interests me, but I can't read a book, a novel, a research paper on a screen, it's just not right for me, so Mobile Legend would have been my choice if I had the proper device to play it.
Umm, that's a toughy. Is there a right time? I can't give a proper answer to this one because I truly don't know if there's a right time, or what I would do if it happens to me.
Ha! 2017, almost 5 years ago, of course, with the wrong person. I fall in love easily, and I'm not talking about a crush or those initial months where is all magical and amazing and steamy. I'm talking about true and deep feelings of love because I tend to look to get to know the guy first, his struggles, his dreams and desires, his strength, his family, his hobbies, what he craves of life.
Of course, if he's hot, well, hot for me at least, I'll fall in love with his eyes, hands (the best) his smile, his perfume, the way he dresses, you name it. But sadly, I haven't met anybody since the last months of 2017, nobody that makes my belly ache with butterflies and drawing hearts in a notebook. I have been interested in some guys, but not hard enough to get to the fields of love.
Phew! This one was a brain breaker, but glad I did it, I feel lighter, I think....
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See you next time.
February 17th, 2022.