I want to see you.
I'm reminiscing...
I'm sitting in my office relaxing after a hard day's work and getting ready to walk 4 kilometers to get home. Then, as I look out a broken window, I remember a message I received a few days ago, I quote:
Hi Rebe... I'm here thinking that I want to see you, share a few beers with you, talk about us, our story, and catch up...
What do you think about this message? What's the first thing that comes into mind? Who send it, right?
Well, this message is from my ex-boyfriend, the one that cheated on me.
What??
Yes, we keep in touch, as grown adults we are and all that. I don't hold any grudge about what happened, only he knows why he did it and I wasn't perfect, I'll never be perfect so, maybe I had something to do with that, not that I justify his actions, there's always better ways of getting out of a relationship that doesn't involve betrayal and that's that.
Now getting on with the point at hand, at first I was a little startled because the message was a bit blunt and out of his style-he usually asks how I am, he asks about my mom and the rest of my family, then he gets down to business, whatever it may be. But this time, no greetings, no asking about my family, just right to it, I want to see you.
I know him well enough to know that something is going on, he never does anything like that with any motive at hand, so the question is, what that motive is. I have a few hypothesis, here they are:
1.- He wants to talk to someone he can trust: like I said, we keep in touch and share some of what happens in our life's. The last time we saw each other didn't hang out much but just enough for him to tell me about his goals and what he wanted for his life. That's why it wouldn't be strange to me that he has something to share and he trusts me enough to pick me for that.
2.- He wants to rekindle: he has trouble holding on to relationships-After me, he went out with the one he choose to cheat on me, with whom he lasted less than a month. Then he had others but nothing lasting until finally he settled with a woman who was a musician like me, was studying the same thing as I was, but unlike me, was a doll, always point blank perfect, not a hair out of place, and with a mellow personality, not at all ordinary like me, she was cool, I knew her from before they got together and I liked her very much. They broke up 3 o 4 years later, then she got married soon after that, then sadly passed away. After they broke up, he hasn't had any stable relationships with anyone and has given me hints that he wants to try something with me again.
3.- None of the above: maybe he just want to have a few drinks with me as the friends we are. We know each other very well and now that when the rush of feelings typical of the first stages of love went away, we could see the features we didn't liked from each other. For instance, he is too competitive and not in a good way, he can get mad at you if you defeat him in a board game, come on. And he says that I'm too much of a prankster, I'm always making jokes and he doesn't like to be the center of mockery, not that I do it with that intention. The point is that we have trades that we don't like about each other and that are not willing to change and that makes us unsuitable for each other. He knows this as well as I do so he maybe just genuinely wants to see me and have a beer with me, no muss no fuzz.
Is my reaction justified? Maybe, as I said, we know each other very well and at one point of our lives we felt deep feelings for one another, and given the few hints that had been thrown in the past it is not rare that I feel that something is going on, the thing is what would I do when I found out which hypothesis is proven right.
If it is the first I'm ok with that, I don't mind giving him a shoulder to lean on, I can be supportive and caring as I have always been, and he can share anything with me and I will do my best to be there for him with advice or whatever.
If it is the third, fine as well, there's nothing wrong with two friends how happened to have been in a relationship in the past, sit down, share a few beers and talk about their lives, it's ok I think, if there's not any hidden agenda, if you know what I mean.
The problem emerges if it's the second option, rekindling what we had, and it is a problem because I don't know how I feel about that. I know that he hurt me pretty bad, and I know that he can be insufferable sometimes but, despite what he did to me, he has a good heart, and despite that, he has been there for me when I have needed him to be, for me and my family as well, something he always demonstrated to us, until he went out and threw it out the window by cheating.
His parents love me and I also keep in touch with them, his mom is just adorable and his dad, well, he is a bit like me, a bit of a prankster but in a respectful matter, maybe that's why he dislikes that about me so much. His brother lives in my town and whenever we see each other anywhere is hugs and stories to tell, we always have been so friendly towards one another, and his little sister, man, she is as beautiful as she is smart, and we get along just fine.
Maybe I'm overreacting and overthinking, maybe none of the hypothesis I've mentioned are correct, maybe the meeting never takes place and it all remains in a meaningless message, but I have to be ready, I don't want to make a mistake, I don't want to jump into something because I'm lonely or he is lonely and we are just familiar, plus, the guys is just eye candy, my oh my he is gorgeous which makes it even more dangerous for me.
My friends say that if the opportunity arrives, I should go with the flow and let what must happen happen, meaning that if he comes with the offer of picking up where we left off I should take it. I'm not sure that's the best way to go, what do you think?
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Pick a question, make a choice. Writing Prompt #25
Without seeing I still see you.
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See you next time.
✨✨Blessings✨✨
March 16th, 2022.
If they had a good relationship it's normal to keep in touch from time to time, many people maybe very alarmed by that, but I see it a bit normal. I would like to know what happened haha I didn't see it before, I just read it. If you want to be with him and he wants to be with you, that's fine, there is no problem, regardless of what has happened between you in the past whether bad or good, people change.... The problem is that some people change only for a while, something like that happened to me in the past and I went for the second option, he had changed and was a better person, but that only lasted him a few months, then I saw all the negative, and that he was cheating on me again, so I decided to end that. After a year or two he tried again to approach me to make it work again, so I just walked away from him.
All people are good and bad, all have flaws, we are not perfect, but there are many other people, only you decide whether to stay with someone already knowing their flaws or look for another person with new flaws and explore what the future will bring.
Good luck with what has happened and what you have chosen.