Bigger by the second.
Fatter by the second was the actual line...
Throughout my life, I've experienced fat shaming in one form or the other. I've been called names and and have been cast out just because the way I look, all facts that have left deep scar's in me, and have brought my self confidence to the lowest levels.
But why do we act in such a way? And I say we because at one point in our lives we all have been guilty of casting bad comments about the appearance of others, due to immaturity, anger, or even low self-esteem which can make a person project into another their feelings of insecurity.
Be that as it may, it is wrongful behavior because everyone is dealing with battles of their own, and we can't possibly know what is the reason behind that extra weight we carry.
In my case, and speaking of actual weight, kilos or pounds, I have a condition, which is known by most of those who read me, and it can trigger different afflictions like anxiety, depression and gastrointestinal illnesses. I for example, have all of those plus a very slow metabolism, so even if I eat small quantities, I put on weight very easily. Another thing is that in very hot or humid weather, I swell up and retain water which makes me look bigger than I actually am.
My closest know this but still, I'm not out of the woods and still get comments like yesterday, when a friend took a picture of us and then posted it in his Whatsapp stories with the quote "Fatter by the second".
Now, did he mean to hurt me? Or was that quote a product of his immaturity (he's 19). Maybe it was misinformation, which I highly doubt because he knows very well my condition and how I feel about being called fat. Only he knows the reasons why he decided to post that, me on the other hand asked him politely to take it down, which he did, but I was already hurt by it.
I have another recent occurrence involving eating and weight. Several days ago I was talking to another friend of mine and entered in a discussion about eating habits-he is one of those people who no matter what or how much they eat, they are always skinny, something he takes advantage off by eating all sorts of delicious but unhealthy foods.
I teased him by saying that it is rare to see him eating broccoli and all sorts of veggies because he always eats fried chicken and donuts. He lashed out at me and said that I'm more unhealthy than him because I always post on WhatsApp, pictures of the foods I make.
Now, just because I post pictures of pretzels and moka marquise does that mean I eat them? Nope, actually the marquise I didn't had any, only the scraps of the pot in which I made the cream, the pretzels, just one, and it is like that with pretty much everything, but he implied that because I cook it and I post it, I eat it, and I eat it all.
I didn't get mad, I just replied that he had a very wrong assumption about my eating habits and that was that. Later he called me fat, he said, "No wonder you're so big".
Hurtful words, and a bit of an overreaction to "Wow, you eating broccoli? That's new". That's it, that's all I said, and got called fat and a glutton.
Was it called for? I don't think so.
Did I hit a nerve with my comment? Maybe, because he might be feeling self-conscious about not being able to gain weight fast, I don't know. What I do know is that the reply was a little to much, it was hurtful, and it made me feel really bad, but I still apologized for my comment.
I'm battling a war with my self image, I hide beneath baggy clothes because I don't like people to see my Michelin belly and my big arms. I know I should accept myself as I am, and also know that I'll never be that dolled up woman men crave for (nor I want to be one), but is hard to accept me as I am when I still hear people calling fat for no good reason.
As I said earlier, everyone has their own battles to fight, and if you don't know what they are about, you should always be aware that your words have the power to hurt, even if you don't mean to hurt anybody, that's why, our eyes and ears must be wide open to see and act in a respectful manner, for all of our sakes.
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March 10th, 2022.
I just realized that you don't need enemies, what for? With those friends they are enough, I would have erased them from the map forever and I don't care about apologies, they leave and that's it. It bothers me when they do something like that. We had a friend who said hello to my wife: "if you're fat", that friend was very fat, until one day I greeted her saying how fat she was, she never said hello the same again. But looking at the old photos, my wife was fat, lol...and so was I.