Only had one serious long relationship.

January 07, 2022

Ohayo!!!!

Since it's the Love Month I will share some bits of my past just to feel love during this time.

When I see heart shaped balloons or some teddy bears holding heart shaped pillows I just remember my debts and the gangster collectors who always banged on our doors whenever they're on schedules on taking money from and my cases in the police station which was not settled yet..lol!!! it's nothing like that ...

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I've been in a relationship, a serious one and the longest, and it's with my first love. Our relationship lasted for almost five years.

He was older than me for five years. He was 21 while I was 16 at that time and he started courting me when I was in my sophomore year but since my parents are strict that he still makes friend and patiently waits for me to graduate.

The day after my graduation, he went to our house and asks permission from Papz to court me to which Papz gives blessing for he saw how he patiently waits for the right time to court although we're still teenagers. But he's matured enough to know what's wrong and what's right. So he's basically waiting for my for more than two years ans courted me for seven months before I said "YES".

Since I'm only sixteen so there are many restrictions that he solely accepts. We can't date until 6pm and when we go to church to attend mass, Papz would be the one to come and pick us up after. When we attend his basketball plays he needs to ask permission from Papz to let me go with them and promised to bring me back after the game. During disco my parents were always around. Not that it bothered me for I am used to Papz being protected since we are all girls.

He's the holder of my many firsts, lots of firsts.

We went to the same college together. Him being ahead of me for a year since I didn't start college after finishing secondary and he also worked part time before continuing his studies. And we were both in the IT department and since he's ahead of me so I get the privileged to use his books .

What went wrong?

We've been going strong for years not until he graduated while I stopped and started working. He didn't get to work after he graduated and opted to be a part time barker while I was busy at my first job. We didn't get to communicate that time because of my work and because he's also working. He was in the neighboring island so I can't easily reach out to him. And I'm also not used in taking my phone with me at work.

Until one day, my sim got blocked and all my contacts were gone. So I went to a computer shop and just open my facebook account only to find out that there's an unread message from him sent months ago.

And it said that I was the one who broke up with him and that he will accept my decision.

Hi day, musta nka? Pasensya naka kung daghan ko pagkulang nga niabot ka sa desisyon nga makigbuwag nako. Sorry Day kung di ko karapat dapat para nimo.

{Hey, how are you? I'm sorry if I lacked on many things that came to the point that you decide on breaking up with me. Sorry if I'm not the right one for you.}

huh?

As in I was in a lot of questions that time. Not that I don't love him. But I have this motto or I heard this saying that. A man courted you so if he said that you broke up so you have to accept it.

Okay.

That's all I replied. No more asking "Why" " I never said I will break up with you" "Don't you love me anymore?" nah .. I get it already

Months after that message and my simple reply he showed up in front of our house asking forgiveness. My family was questioning my decision but I stand on what I said. He begs and begs and I decline. I was hated by my family but I don't mind. I became dumb and I became deaf. Work,home, eat, sleep and then back again. I felt like I was a robot designed to do the usual everyday.

And then weeks before our supposed to be our fifth anniversary if only we didn't broke up, he showed up with a woman and with a big baby bump. Get it? It means that on the day he messaged me that we have broken up, that woman was already pregnant and when he showed up asking forgiveness the woman is already three months preggy and her due date was a week after our anniversary if we didn't broke up.

Pain.

And my family only found out about that after he brings the woman home (we we're neighbors). But, I know all about it days after we broke up but I just stayed silent for his sake.

Remember the song "Paubaya" by Moira that was released I guess last year. Whenever I hear that song I always felt a pang in my chest. He is still and will always be my first love but we never ended together and I guess he's happy now.

I didn't believe in love after that, or been in a serious relationship at all. And yes I became bitter not until I had my son. But I did swear that I will never be in a relationship again.

Sorry if it's heartbreaking. I just felt down tonight since I only got off work late and my Boss really is a pain in the neck all the time. hooooohhh

I need to sleep now so I'll start reading tomorrow.

Thank you for always coming by my nonsense articles.

Be blessed and be a blessing!
@mommykim

Be blessed and be a blessing!
@mommykim