Old age.

55 82
Avatar for gertu13
2 years ago

Greetings my dear readers, today my story is about a question I have and I would like to share with you my precious commentators.

I often see families that seem to be well constituted but at the end of the day they aren’t, it’s all just appearances.

I don't understand why in many families, in spite of having hard working and struggling parents, some of the children, if not all of them, prefer not to pay attention to their parents when they reach the age of senility.

In society it seems that when we are older our children will take care of their parents, but this is not the destiny of all elders. It seems that after the children become independent, it usually happens that they do the same with their blood and/or sentimental bond that unites them to their parents.

They leave them to their fate, or place them in care homes because they have their own lives and cannot take care of their parents and being there the parents forget about them until they die or, if they are lucky, they visit them on their birthday or on Mother's or Father's Day.

I have always wondered why we see this more and more in societies. Because there are more and more older adults alone on the streets, shopping, taking care of children, paying debts or running errands alone.

Were they not given a proper education? Were they not given enough love to share in old age with their old parents? What happens, because we leave them alone?

I read a story some time ago about a man who was at his son's family home. There was the married son, his wife and son. When they ate, the shaky man threw the food on the table and made a mess, this bothered his son who always scolded him.

One day the son decided to place him on the floor with a plate of food so that he could make as much mess as he wanted without bothering him.

The little boy, seeing this in his free time after school, began to make a clay plate. Little by little he was giving it the shape of a plate until the father approached his son and asked him what was this homework that he had been doing for days, seeing how hard he was trying to do it.

The boy answered that it was not homework but that it was a plate that he was making him from now on so that when his father was old he would eat on it, on the floor like his grandfather did.

From unsplash

His father immediately realized what he was doing and the example he was setting for his son, so the next day he put his father back to the table and put a handkerchief under his neck so that he would not get dirty when he ate. He helped him eat by patiently feeding him and treating him with the respect he deserved.

I found this story very touching because whatever we see in childhood we imitate and continue to do in adulthood.

Even so, there are parents who have been exemplary and have only received contempt from their children when they reach an age where they are not able to fend for themselves.

It’s not all children, some of them are, and that is why I can't understand how, if our parents have given us everything, food, shelter, love, education and examples when they are at the age of greater susceptibility, they are left aside.

I know it’s not all children but this happens in families where there are several siblings. There is always the case of someone who is resentful, someone who is not happy with his life and therefore treats the older parents badly.

What do you think about this situation, do or would you do this with your parents when they are so old that they can no longer fend for themselves?

Thanks as always for your comments and thanks to my sponsors.

23
$ 6.18
$ 5.35 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.10 from @Alther
$ 0.05 from @oivas
+ 21
Sponsors of gertu13
empty
empty
empty
Avatar for gertu13
2 years ago

Comments

Old people did their part in takng care of their children but later on they didn't get treated the same because for some reason those children get tired of them and it must be not...I hope that everyone take care of their old parents no matter what..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Sometimes there is resentment in children who don't get over it and so they treat their parents badly. Sometimes parents don't think they are going to grow old and mistreat their children. It is very sad all this mistreatment and abandonment.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's true that's why both parties should keep in my mind what they're doing..

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It is sad to see that some older people are left behind by their kids. Some would migrate to other places which is understandable but there are those who live close to their parents but can't take proper care of them. Some of us are adapting the western culture wherein they would rather have their elders taken care of in nursing homes at least for those who can afford it.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Many elderly people are known to be mistreated in nursing homes. I wouldn't want to go to a place like that. I would prefer a person to help me at home when I am no longer able to take care of my body.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Seeing old people being abandoned by their children are so pitiful. After years of giving life and taking care, they will be abandoned. I don't want to do that to my parents and I hope that won't happen to me as well.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's true, I hope it doesn't happen to me either.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

A very good post indeed!

It also boils down to culture. At least, the Asians, South Americans, and South East Asians, in my opinion, are brought up living and looking after their grandparents. As such, it becomes normal for them to continue doing it when they get old. However, few other cultures believe in leaving the elders in old age homes, as that is what they have seen happen for generations. Now, which one is correct? I don't know but we sure have to take care of our elders.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Here we are used to having the elderly with us. We do not abandon them. There are families that used to leave them in old people's homes but things have changed in Venezuela and we see very little of them.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I heard about this story very long time ago when I was still very little. I was about 11 or 12 at that time. It was a popular story at that time It was just the perfect story that is used to depict the more importance of love and respect to parents... ever since, I never heard about it again... Just like how you had rightly pointed, maybe today's younger generation don't think much about showing respect to thier older folks anymore. which is very unfortunate. Till today I am still always shocked whenever I see some young people screaming at thier parents

$ 0.01
2 years ago

In many cases these young people were spoiled by their parents. As adults, they can no longer be corrected.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Exactly ma'am.... Sorry for my typo error

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I understood.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It really differs from one child to another and it depends. Here in our country, no matter how other kids resented their parents before, thry would not come to the point wherein they would have to ignore them when they get old. There would always be a change of heart. A heart of stone will be softened when a child sees his or her ageing parents.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It happens in many family cases, but in other cases it does not happen and then comes the abandonment and mistreatment of the elderly.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Reading this story made me remember the neighbor that we had before. He was 73 years old and his grandson treat him so bad and i felt so sad about it. So sad knowing that there are family who chose to treat elders that way. It pains my heart because they don't deserve to be treated that way. In that age of them, that's the time that they needed most the care and attention of their family

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It would be necessary to know how the boy who is now taking revenge on him was raised.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think he got it from his father. His father isn't that good in handling his kids...On the burial of the old man, the grandson didn't mourn instead he smiled and even cracks jokes as if nothing happens. His siblings and his mother were crying that time but he showed the opposite

$ 0.00
2 years ago

He was raised very poorly. Not even with a stranger does one laugh. At a funeral one feels sad as a person.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

La crisis puede sacar lo peor de las personas y lamentablemente aquí en Venezuela se ven muchos padres abandonados a su suerte por sus hijos y familiares, es algo muy triste, cuando fui a vacunarme en el hospital unas enfermeras diciendo que han abandonado a varias personas mayores, simplemente los dejan en el hospital y se van.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It is sad what is happening. But I didn't know that, to leave their elderly on the streets. My God have mercy.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is so heart warming madam, I know that we are getting older so as our parents too, we must pay attention to them and take care of them like what they did for ua when we are young and naive, I can't help but to feel sad to those people who abandoned their parents because they think they are no use anymore it's so easy to them to leave their parent and it's a heart breaking for parents who's being leave behind.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes, This is very true and sad.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We have same sentiments Gertu, I can't understand why their are some who don't have the heart to take care their parents. My heart always bleeds when I saw old people on the streets.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I have seen and heard all kinds of stories about abandoned parents. Mostly of good parents who gave everything to their children. That's the part I don't understand.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I was thinking maybe they spoiled their children too much? I remember my Uncle, my Mom's brother. He suffered from mild store last year..sadly his children abandoned him for the reason that he was not a good father back then. They don't want to take care especially the financial burden so it was passed to our Mom. Since our Mom doesn't have a source of income, burden was passed to us😔. It is good thinng at least, their cousin was taking care of him because he was now bed ridden. And I could not understand my cousins, still it was their father right?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

As his father, his children were to look after him. Sometimes fathers are severe with their children but they are still fathers. Leaving the responsibility to another family member with children is unfair to the family member.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes it, they were so unfair. If they think their father didn't help them in any way what's more to us? Sometimes I can't help but to be dismayed. Way back before, during our hard times, my mother hard times specifically no one in her family or relatives help. Seems she doesn't have one. Now that we are okay somehow financially we are sometimes surprise a relative of her just show up in our house and even stayed for days😂. Like they knew us now, tskkk.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes, apparently being from different cultures you and I, belonging to different continents and the things you refer to is like me talking to my next door neighbor.
It happens that there are family members who have no shame, who were never present in bad times but seeing that the family is doing well now then they decide to go and engage in personal relationships that were not there before. That is why nobody appreciates them later because they are interested.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Unfortunately it happens every day, many children make their lives independent and forget where they come from, leaving their parents aside. Perhaps some will believe they will always be young.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It may be that, that they believe they are eternally young until it is too late for reality.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We need to learn how to be patient with our parents when they are old because they were patient with us when we were kids.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

We should love and honor our parents.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I have heard and seen situations like this and there is something called "law of karma." Whatever you do to your parent, and your children sees it, they will grow up with such act and repay you with it. Also, there are some children who aren´t proud of their parents and it is the morals they were taught with while growing up. Perhaps, some parents do not teach their children the value of respecting older ones irrespective of who they are. So, it all boils down to parents giving the best and quality training to their children while still young.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Karma in the bible is represented for those of us who are Christians as the fourth commandment which is to honor father and mother. To fail to do so is a sin and then we must face the consequences of our wrongdoing. Sometimes parents neglect to teach values to their children because they are dedicated to work. And after reaching adulthood it is too late for the children to learn and they only do what they want.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I have the same question as yours back then, and I also wonder why they're doing it to their parents after everything their parents sacrificed for them? They've been through a lot while raising us and they all deserve the love and care as they grow older too.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes, it is true. We don't know what goes wrong while they're growing up that they later forget.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's a really sad story. It's bad that after a parent spend decades of their life taking care of their kids, the kids won't do that in return

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes, that is very sad.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This lesson was their in our Indian syllabus. The subject was Value education otherwise called as moral instruction. It is very true that children learn from us. So we should be cautious.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That is true.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is a very good topic, it could be based on what the kids see their parents do to their grandparents and they believe it's the way of life.

Secondly these kids learn dangerous things when they are away and it makes them lose love for their parents. I urge every parent to train, pray and path their kids in God's path while they can.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yes, I support you. It is our job to teach our children while we can and then when they are adults it is too late to correct them.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's natural for old parents at a certain stage start behaving like a child. It's good to be with them and try as much as possible to correct them if the chance is there, and not treating them like trash. Yeah, I once had a grandma that got to the that stage, it was really messy but we tried our best

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yes, it's complicated to deal with elders but they did what they could and that is enough in the eyes of God.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

There are some situations like that ma'am Gertu. I'm really broke everytime I know some families on that situation. I felt pity to the parents. I don't know what's in their mind. The parents are old already and they need someone who will take care them and support them.

This is one of the things that I will never do to my parents. I will love them. I will support them. I will care them. I love my parents a lot. I will do my best to make them happy. I will not let them do the things that makes them worry ma'am gertu.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

God bless you my dear Ramona you really have a noble heart. That is what your parents cultivated, a good daughter.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I don't think any child should treat their parent disrespectfully simply because they are old. For what you do to your parents will be done to you too. There is karma

$ 0.03
2 years ago

What you call karma is what in the bible is established as the fourth commandment of the Christians, "honor father and mother" not to do so is to sin and as a consequence will have repercussions in the life of the person.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Children will imitate what they see in olders so we should be a good example for them, do the right thing so that they won't lead in a wrong path. The story you've shared is really a good one.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It's true, we must set an example for our children. Thank you very much for your opinion.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I will not do it to my parents coz they are the one who gives life on me. It's my obligations to take good care with them and it's really painful for me if I treat them so bad. I really loved my parents, a lots. But here in the Philippines not all have a home for aged and I can't do that also . Bring them in that place then they will cry. Children's must be think also not to themselves always.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It's very sad to leave the elderly aside and not involve them in our lives because they are a nuisance. It saddens me to think of them being alone the last years of their lives. Without a family member, without a love.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

My parents will never be apart for us, ever. Maybe this will be my topic tonight about my aunt have a diabetes and she had a bad attitude but still her childrens take good care for her.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That is very well.

$ 0.00
2 years ago