How's your life and the memories that you had? Well, we people will always have and make memories. And of course, those memories took a huge part in molding who we are today.
There are some good and cheerful memories but there are also dark, shady, and awful ones. And no matter how hard we try, we can't just forget about it. Some events from the past will still be remembered even unintentionally. Just like this shady chapter I'd been through six years ago.
When I was young, my life was simply fine even though I grew up only with my father and brother. We only have the three of us and as the female member of the family, I do all the chores supposed to be done by a mom.
I never thought of it as a burden but instead, I assumed it as my training ground in a more complex world as I get older.
Yet, those fine memories were tainted with some dark rememberings. A chapter of my life I never saw coming.
My friend and all-time companion during my sunny and dark days is my cousin. She's my best friend and we both treat each other as sisters since she's the only girl among the 5 siblings of their family.
But one day, something happened that left a gloomy shade on her life. A circumstance that shut her giggles for days.
One day I saw her in an uneasy state, was shaking, and easily gets irritated. I was about to approach her when she came closer to me and cried. I was stunned and worried seeing her in that mood.
What happened?
My heart's trembling so fast when I asked her.
Uncle ____ touches my * (private part).
(She's referring to her father's friend who always hangs out at their house)
I felt I became deaf after I heard what she told me. I remained silent after hearing her confession with crossed brows. And total silence arose between the two of us.
As I heed her shaky voice, after comprehending her statement, I told her to report it to her father but she begged me to remain silent. She knew her father very well and we both know what her father could do if ever he knew what happened to her.
We both kept it a secret and I feel sorry for her and I am completely mad at the man who did it to my cousin until now. And that's the time when I started to hate pervert men.
But deep inside I am scared too that it might happen to me too.
But what if it will become reality?
Unfortunately, it does, almost.
Not in a single thought, such an event will occur in me, and it never entered my mind.
I was 18 years old, innocent, and too naive when I faced life in a big city alone. I am working that time and I am renting a room in a boarding house.
The boarding house was too old, probably built during the Spaniards time. Everything was old and antique. I like vintage stuff and ambiance, to be honest, but there's one thing I can't survive in the said boarding house
I am the only one renting upstairs while some of the renters live downstairs. Beside my room was the room of the landlady who's a public teacher so I felt quite secured. But I felt uncomfortable, especially with a certain bathroom.
There are two bathrooms downstairs; the other one is well closed with doors and cement walls, while the other one's door was only covered with a curtain. Yes, so it'll be risky to take a bath there. So when I have to take a bath, I always used the bathroom with a well-locked door but not every day is my lucky day.
There comes a time when I was about to take a bath there's someone who's using the well-closed bathroom since I am catching up with the time of my duty, I have no choice but to take a bath in the other bathroom. Unfortunately, it happened several times until one day got odd feelings that made me uneasy.
When the other bathroom was occupied, I took a bath in a bathroom enclosed with curtains and I took a bath very quickly, but I just got a heavy feeling, I don't know what was it but I felt strange. I heard unusual sounds so I never closed my eyes and be attentive. And that happened not only once but I just ignored it.
When I came out of the bathroom I saw two men sitting near the stairs. And they both looked at me with odd eye contact.
I don't know but I certainly felt more uncomfortable after seeing them. Before bedtime, I told my father that I want to find a new place since I'm not sure if I am safe in the boarding house that I'm staying with and I planned to move after a month. Maybe I'm just overthinking but it's hard to live in a place you're not comfortable with.
He just gave me his approval and after one month I found a new place.
A place that I thought would be better.
The new boarding house was only a street away from the first boarding house that I had stayed in. It was a two-story house made of wood and the rooms are located upstairs. I was happy to know that I am the only tenant staying there. And the people residing in the boarding house were the landlord who's a PWD and a retired engineer with his niece together with her mom.
My stay there was peaceful, and I can move freely. Yet I'm always in my room, especially during my day-offs. Sometimes the landlord's niece went up to my room and we play together.
Until one day, I saw strangers, two men looking at the vacant rooms upstairs. They're probably inquiring about a room.
After a week a family moved in. A man with his wife together with their 3 children. And the head of the family was one of the men I saw days ago examining the rooms.
And I never thought that particular moment had changed everything turned my peaceful stay into an experience of a monster.
My stay there and movements became limited. Since there were new renters, I have to catch up with the time for my cooking, laundry, and shower time.
Everything seems fine when a simple help turns into a hell trial.
It was my day off and I am staying in my room scrolling my Facebook account; I heard three knocks on my door. I ignored it at first and I heard a voice of a man asking if I have a load as he badly needed to text his wife.
Seems it's kinda urgent, I opened the door and saw the father of the family who's living next door. He asked me if I could let him text his wife on my phone since he ran out of mobile load.
Since I got some load, I handed him my phone and waited for him to be done at the door.
After that, he smilingly thanked me and said goodbye. But I never thought our second meeting would turn out to be horrible.
After a few minutes, I heard three knocks again coming from my door and a voice calling “Miss” which is referring to me.
I opened the door as I recognized the voice of the neighbor. I was completely too relaxed that day and he asked if he could go inside to fetch some internet signal.
By the way, my room has windows and the signal was pretty strong and stable.
As I am trying to be civil and nice as their neighbor, I never thought of any bad impressions inside. I let him sit near the window and let the door opened.
I sat on my bed that was meters away from the window where he's standing.
“Just tell me “uncle” if you're done fetching some signal.”
I'm trying to be polite as I could.
He nodded.
Then I wasn't expecting it, I am stunned when he sat beside me.
It made me sweat cold and have my heart shivering.
I ignored it first but I am paid attention to his actions. A lot of things were going on in my head and I was preparing myself to move if ever he will do something. Then he uttered these words.
“You're so beautiful, you look like a Korean.”
And seriously it doesn't sound like a compliment.
Then, he suddenly touches my hair and smells it. I stood up and tried to raise my voice.
“What are you doing? If you're done you can now get out! ”
I startled him when I raised the tone of my voice.
He sits still and I walked near the door, but to be honest, I'm just trying hard to be brave that time.
Please leave!
He mumbled someone might see him, but I yelled.
What if others will see you? Why are you so scared to be seen? Get out!
My voice was shaking in anger and fear and I felt instant relief when he walked out of the room.
I immediately locked my door and I quivered. My heart was beating too fast and I am uneasy that I just can't calm down.
Then, an unknown number sent me a message.
“You're so fairly white, I want to lick your whole body”
“I know you're still a Virgin. Let me teach you.”
“I'll have you first before your boyfriend does.”
***Sorry for the words, but it's the messages I'd received that day and I can't just forget it until now.
I almost fell out when I saw it's the same number that man sent a message with a while ago.
It means he sent a message on his own mobile number using my phone and it was just an alibi that he's going to text his wife.
That demon!
I am holding my knife while taking a deep breath and trying hard to calm down, and I don't know what to do but I just want to get out of the hell I am in. Knowing that he's living next to me.
I waited few minutes to give attention to his footsteps, and I heard footsteps leaving downstairs. Probably it's him. And I suddenly remember to go to my workplace.
I walked rapidly to the highway to fetch some jeepney, trying to hide my tears from the people around me.
As I successfully rode in a jeepney I felt security and assurance that I have escaped. I cried so hard while on the way, the people looking at me don't matter anymore.
Thank You, God I am safe.
I'm saying that in silence over and over again.
My co-workers were all concerned with me, especially my boyfriend, who's my husband presently.
My manager begged him to be calm and do the process legally.
My manager told me to report it to the police station, but I am still frightened and upset. So, my friend, a co-worker offered her room with me so I could have a place to stay for a night.
I slept in her boarding house and my boyfriend looked for a new boarding house near his location. And luckily, he found one.
Early in the morning, without any words, I get all of my things and stuff and moved out. The landlord was astonished and clueless about what's the reason for my sudden move-out.
I told my father about it and I'm expecting him to report it to the police station, but he's just busy at school and has no time. So the case was remained untold and the monster is possibly still roaming around.
Regardless of it, I firmly thanked God I was saved from that nightmare. There's a lot of what-ifs running in my head after that event, to be honest.
What if I fail to be strong?
What if he has a weapon?
What if he broke into my room while I'm sleeping?
He caused me trauma, a lot of traumas. He might fail in his devilish intention, but the trauma he caused is still here.
And until now I am afraid to be put in that situation again. And that certain page of my life story is the shady part I wish never existed.
@eommaZel✍🏻🥀
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Oh my Jez! I was directed to your blog after reading about rape from Queen Ray. I was even thanking God hers was a work of fiction. I can't believe this awful thing either how you felt talking about it. I am so sorry for the things you went through. I know God has his way of dealing with these animals that call themselves humans.