Tell me what you say to yourself and I will tell you how you behave?

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Avatar for carolinacardoza
3 years ago

I don't know if it happens to you, but I have a voice inside my head and I talk to it, day after day. The dialogue I have with that voice is what psychologists call inner dialogue. I have always thought that in order to improve our world or our environment we need to have a good inner dialogue.

Tell me what you say to yourself and I will tell you how you behave?

Nowadays psychology has shown that our attitude depends a lot on the quality of that inner dialogue and I can attest that they are right. There is an inner dialogue that is learned, that is to say, much of what we are today has to do with what some people who had influence on us said about us, this usually happens especially when we are children.

Luckily when I was a child I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who always spoke well of me, I remember that when my mother took me somewhere I would stand there listening and all my mother's comments were very positive, they talked about how intelligent I was, how well behaved I was and how much I liked studying. I say that I was lucky because other children when they start their life only receive insults like: you are no good, you are a fool, you look like this or that person and an endless number of things that influence the inner thoughts of that child. This can also happen at school; there are teachers who insult a pupil in a hurtful way in order to scold him or her.

But be careful, there is something that can also look good but is actually wrong, for example, going to extremes can be incredibly harmful, for example, raising a child's self-esteem by telling him that he is the most beautiful man, the most incredible man, the most perfect man in the world can be very harmful and irrational, because when that child grows up he will think he is so perfect that when he does something wrong he will not believe it and he will firmly say that we are all wrong except him.

So you have to be careful with that and if your inner dialogue is irrational or harmful, reset your memory, start from scratch.

The first thing you need to know to improve your inner dialogue is that you have to be aware of what you are talking to you. So from now on you can set yourself the task of telling yourself things that will lift your spirits and encourage that inner dialogue to treat you much better. At night when you go to bed you can say a prayer of thanksgiving and make a list of all the good things that you saw, that happened to you during the day and you will go to sleep relaxed and happy.

Finally I would like to ask you to do the following exercise so that we can work and reset our inner dialogue of anything bad that has happened to you; start telling yourself positive things, things that increase your self-esteem, highlight those qualities you have and if you don't know them, look for someone who loves you like your mother to tell you three good attitudes that make you stand out. I am sure that our mothers will not only tell us 3 but a thousand beautiful characteristics because they always see us with the eyes of LOVE.



I would like to thank my new sponsor Gertu13 who since I arrived at Read.cash has supported me and encouraged me to keep going with her words. God bless you and may God grant many blessings to each of you who sponsor me and follow me. With humility thank you for everything.

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3 years ago

Comments

A great article on this rare topic. I also find myself in such mode, almost daily, where I am in dialogue with my inner self. Glad to hear that it's normal stuff, nothing to worry about.

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3 years ago

No one can help us but us. Our words are powerful and true motivation comes from inside. We need to be there for ourselves to lift our inner spirit up when the world is trying to beat us down. The truth is, so many things would discourage us but we need to learn how to speak positive words. Speaking positive words make us see things with clarity and seek for solutions.

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3 years ago

You know that with my son I made the mistake of raising his self-esteem to the sky, I think he was told many times since he was little that he was a wonderful and perfect child and he believed it. He is really good, but nobody is perfect and we make mistakes; it has cost me a lot to bring him back to reality now that he is going through adolescence. Luckily he has me to talk to him and make him see things with LOVE.

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3 years ago

You try to make him make up for what you missed while growing up and I wouldn't say you made a mistake. I am glad you are there with him every step of the way to keep him in check because he would listen to you and believe you. You are doing great, trust me.

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3 years ago

There are many exercises to raise self-esteem, so that a person has good thoughts about himself. One of them is in front of a mirror, always make positive affirmations in front of the image that is reflected. A person who thinks he/she is the most beautiful, the most interesting, etc., etc. is a potentially egocentric person. Interesting article. Regards

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3 years ago

How sad that our taunts or phrases damage a person's self-esteem so much, a few days ago I told you about the situation that my niece Emily is going through, she is 19 years old and is suffering because she looks ugly and although we have fought to get her out of that world we have not yet reached the 100% mental health that we want, so that she can return to being the happy and cheerful girl that she was before.

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3 years ago

Upbringing shares a big factor in shaping one's personality, I would have to agree with what you said. Also, our mind is the most influential aspect to decide what we want to become. It still boils down to positive thinking. 😁

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3 years ago

You are right, the whole environment in which we grow up is very important, we must be careful about this and not allow outsiders to come and damage our children's minds.

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3 years ago

We're on the same boat. Peoples around me complementing me about how smart I am, how high my grades are. It's good actually it. Feels good. I didn't become over confident about it but used it as a motivation to strive more. But sometimes Im reflecting, I'm doing this for who? Stressing myself for a mere compliment is something not that good

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3 years ago

It helped me, as you say, I didn't really believe it, but it did strengthen my skills and abilities. Knowing that there were people who trusted me and valued me helped me a lot in my life.

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3 years ago

A former boss of mine told us one time that words we say to ourselves are the strongest. That stuck with me since then and I try to apply that not only to me but to others as well.

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3 years ago

Since I was working, many people told me that I was a brute or deluded, what happened is that I believed in myself and I didn't pay attention to them, some said it while playing, but what they didn't understand was that sometimes they did cause me pain. But it doesn't matter, I trusted in myself and I only listened to those people who spoke to me with love and I followed my intuitions.

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3 years ago

That's why we really should treat each other better with kindness and with love. It's a challenge especially if we were treated wrongly by others.

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3 years ago

Sometimes our family background describes us how and what kind of person we are. But we have to remember that we are who we are no matter where we came from.

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3 years ago

I come from a very humble family, I was the only one who studied and got ahead in a different way, my brothers and sisters are doing very well and I am very grateful to them because they gave me everything so that I could study, today it is up to me to give back a little of what they gave me with so much effort, sowing the land from sunrise to sunset.

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3 years ago

Yes the environment has a big impact for individual. Our family is the greatest and beautiful words for defining ourselves too. Thank you for this ma'am..

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3 years ago

You are absolutely right, at home I always wanted to reinforce that part in my children, but with Fabian, my youngest son, his teachers and classmates influenced him and I think that raised his self-esteem to the clouds, day by day I try to work with him on that part so that he can be a good human being and not an egocentric person.

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3 years ago

Yes maam that's the right thing and you do the best way for your children. I admire you a lot maam..❤️

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3 years ago

Tienes razón y es muy instructivo y educativo eso que escribes. Es necesario levantarse la autoestima y la voz interior que uno tiene es la mayoría de las veces la que hace que te sientas mal yo me miró al espejo y mi voz interior dice que mal te queda esa ropa y en realidad es tu autoestima que la tienes muy baja, así que a subirla y nada mejor que tus consejos a decirnos muchas cosas positivas, bendiciones para ti

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3 years ago

I don't care what people say about me, what matters is what I say to myself and if I feel beautiful, nothing should matter to me. We have to shake off those people who are hurt by the fact that you are happy the way you are and the way you live.

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3 years ago

Yea, those who have a good environment are really lucky. I mean, you are not down in all situations, especially your family. Maybe the family's insults won't go away either, but there will be insults in a good way. It's just like joke time.

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3 years ago

Yes, this bulling is funny to those of us on the other side, but in the case of my niece it affected her so much that today she is at risk of death because she doesn't want to eat and the depression is killing her. This happened two years ago and day by day we are helping her with love and affection to get her out of that dark world that her mind put her in.

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3 years ago

Our upbringing, the people, and the environment we spend time greatly affect how we think and perceive things. And yes, our internal conversations matter most. No matter how unpleasant our enviroment can be, when we make our internal dialogues positive and a lot louder than those that surround us, I believe things will be better.

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3 years ago

Well then let's start, my friend, let's tell ourselves every day, I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am creative, I am loving, I am happy, I am a good person,

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3 years ago

Yes! Let's go! :)

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3 years ago

You are right, there are many things that looks right but are very wrong. We should know how to handle each child because they are different and have different ways of accepting or accommodating things.

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3 years ago

That's right, we have to be careful about the environment we allow them to be in, whether it's school, gym, church, every place can influence their personality and thinking.

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3 years ago

Mental programming is very important for the development of a person, those phrases praising our qualities as children are the ones that will last in time, how nice that you recognize your past and present motivators.

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3 years ago

Yes, my mother is the one I will thank most in life for having shaped my thinking.

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3 years ago