"You are actually beautiful but..."
I used to hear this before and, though, I never got offended, I just didn't want to hear this over and over again. This was also one of the reasons I don't want to socialize because of people's comments. I mean I don't like people who keep stating what's already obvious to me.
To those who didn't know, I was born with a disability. So when people see me, I guess they feel pity for me. Maybe they feel like I could do better in life if I wasn't born this way. I know I am different. I have already known this since I was a child. People telling me this every time they see me, only makes me feel that I will never be good enough no matter how much I strive.
Why can't they just say I am beautiful without the buts? How hard could it be to tell someone that she is more than enough and that she can be anyone her heart desires? Or, why can't they just shut up and stop being insensitive towards others?
Well, these were just a few things I kind of pissed back then. Now, let me just share with you the things that make me beautiful without the buts. I may be different in the eyes of many, but I know I have some beautiful qualities that only a few can appreciate.
I am beautiful because...
I'm sweet. I must say that I am a sweet person. Aside from being sweet to my family, I'm also the sweetest with friends. I guess because I'm quite childish even for my age. I just enjoy their company and I love showing them how grateful I am to have them around.
I'm caring. Yes, I am this person too. I got it from my dad for sure. He was a caring person to the point that sometimes, people abused him. Not sure if this is a plus, though.
I'm a happy person. I have so many reasons to be happy. I have my family and all are well. I have real friends who love me for who I am and accept me for what I'm not. I love to smile and laugh. When I laugh, I LOL. Yes, there are times that I feel like the world hates me and I find no reason to even smile for once, but when I'm at my happiest, I'm always all out.
I'm friendly. Maybe you notice this, maybe not. But yeah, I'm friendly too. Though sometimes the way I write my text doesn't seem friendly to you coz I barely use emojis. LOL.
I'm an animal lover. Oh! This one is my favorite quality being an animal lover. Although I mostly talk about my furbabies (dogs), I actually love animals, in general. Okay, I don't like reptiles, but I also don't like people torturing them for fun. One time, I happened to see something on YouTube where a guy tortured a mouse, in my thoughts, I just want to torture that guy to avenge the poor little one.
I value my friends. My friends are one of the reasons why I survived life. I wouldn't be the happy person that I am now if it weren't because of them. They gave me reasons to live life. Without my friends, real-life and virtual, I don't think I'd be who I am today.
I work hard. This may not be new to you because a lot of you have already noticed this. I work hard not just to have a lot of money but also for my family, especially for my mom, who has been my constant and biggest support. My mom is getting older and, though, she never asks for anything in return for her sacrifices towards me, I still want to provide something for her. So that one day, she can enjoy life without worrying a lot. I also don't want people to think I'm just being a burden in this society.
I love kids. Not everyone loves kids, but I do. I think, not being biased here, people who love kids are beautiful, especially if they know exactly what they are doing. Kids are not easy to handle so if you're good at them, then that makes a person beautiful.
I appreciate even the simplest things in life. I am a simple person. I don't need fancy things to make me happy. I even appreciate staring at the blue sky, the sound of the rain, the chirping of birds, the trees, and even the way a dog wags its tail.
I really appreciate nature and if only, I was physically able, I would have enjoyed hiking or going to the beach, or elsewhere that involves trees and more trees. I tried hiking once when I was in college. I was still using my axillary crutch at that time, but that was my first and last. I don't think I can do it again, though, coz of my situation. Still, I enjoyed it, and it was a great experience for me.
I'm a survivor. Despite all the hardships I went through, I managed to turn the unfortunate events into a strength that made me who I am today. Of course, I couldn't do it on my own without God's guidance and protection and with family and friends who are always there to back me up.
Closing thoughts
Am I beautiful? Yes. Not because I look cute (shhh, self-love at its finest) but because I choose to live life no matter how hard it is instead of ending it. I choose to work hard despite my disability instead of making excuses not to. I choose to smile even if sometimes, I'm dying inside.
One day, when it's my time to travel the afterlife, people will remember me as a person who finds a solution rather than wasting time complaining about why there is such a problem.
Yes you are beautiful