Mama

Blog 37
Date :March 10,2022 
Time :4:55pm

Mom, Mama, Nanay, or however we call it. It's someone that gave us life. Being a mom is a very tiring job but the most rewarding one.

Mama, I was never been close to her. In my teenage life, my mom wasn't there to guide me because I had to live in my Aunt's house because my parents can't afford to send me to school. My Papa doesn't have a regular job and my mom is just a plain housewife. We are four siblings. I have 2 elder brothers and one younger one. In short, I'm the only girl. The reason why my Nickname is 'Inday' (girl) is my family calls me by that nickname till now. I was a working student in my high school life. To be honest, I don't know much about household chores, especially cooking. I don't even know how to fry a fish or cook some Pancit(noodles). My aunt is strict and she's the kind of person that is hard to approach, it's because of her attitude. My aunt has three kids, 2 boys, and one girl. I remember I was in first-year high school at that time, my job is to prepare food for the kids, wake them up and get them ready for school before I can leave going to school. I have to walk going to school and even go home from school. I live around kilometers away from the school. If I will take a tricycle going home my aunt will say, why do I take a tricycle when I am not carrying heavy things.

One time my aunt told me to cook Pancit and I told her that I don't know how to. She was disappointed and was mumbling telling me what chores I know to do. Well the of my mind, I don't know how to cook Pancit or any other recipe because I was not trained to cook at my parent's place. I remember I cried because my aunt was mumbling and saying words that could hurt me. I told myself that I never told them that I wanted to be their working student. It was my parent's decision not to mind.

My parents will visit once in a while like a fiesta in my Aunt's place.

I remember my aunt buying me cheap school shoes. She's thrifty or what we called kuripot. My shoes got broken and lack was detached from shoes and one of my silly classmates was raising the lack of my shoes, shouting, trying to ask everyone who owns that. I felt embarrassed at that time but I cannot demand my aunt to buy me new shoes. From that time I promise myself that if I can finally afford to buy my own shoes I will buy the branded one so it would be more durable.

Growing up as a teenager without my mom is not really easy. I don't have anyone to talk to if I have a problem or if I want something. Mom wasn't there too when I had my first menstruation. No one teaches me how to put that napkin on my undies. I was in 3rd high school when I had my first menstruation.

Living in my Aunt's place wasn't that easy. I used to hear hurtful words from them. Her husband doesn't even know how to ask first before accusing me of the things I didn't do.

I was always lonely at that time especially when I am just at home. My two cousins were hard-headed and they made me stressed. My only way to feel better that time is talking to God. God has been my best friend. I used to talk to him in my lonely times.

My only goal at that time is to finish high school and I definitely leave that place. It was after I graduated high school when I told my aunt that I wanted to go home. That's the time she's being nice to me. She wanted me to continue my studies but I refuse and decided to go home.

A few days after my graduation I go back to my parent's place but I didn't stay long there as I choose to stay at the grandparent's house. Until I decided to start working. Since I had an aunt (mother's side) who lives in Cagayan de Oro and takes a vacation here in Bohol, I told her if I can go with her to Cagayan and find a job. I did find a job in Cagayan. I have already written an article about it. You can read it here if you want. Abortion will never be my option. I had met there the father of my daughter and my mom knows that I was pregnant she was really mad at me. I understand why she's at me. I was only 17 at that time.

I had to go back to my parent's place after I got pregnant and that was the start. That I heard hurtful words from my mom. I know it was my fault. I should be more mindful of my actions. My mom was the one who was there with me when I was about to give birth. She's also the one who was there to guide me about how to take care of my baby. She guided me throughout my motherhood journey. The only thing I don't like about my mom is when she keeps telling my daughter that you are like your mom, very hard-headed. My mom was been like that also. I am like my dad very hard-headed. I don't want my daughter to bear in her young mind that okay mom is that I can be like that too. I don't want my daughter to follow my bad traits.

However, my relationship with my mom gets tougher as I get older. We seem not to understand each other. My mom is still too overprotective with me even if I was already more than 20 years old. I understand, being a mom or a parent never stops even if you are getting old. I tend to understand her, especially since I am now a mom of two. And my daughter is already 14 years old. I will just be that protective just like my mom.

Mom and I had lots of fights already. She even kick us out of the house when my daughter was 2 years old. We don't have any choice but to leave the house and find a place to stay. It was my fault. I was the kind of person who always answer my parents back which is not really good. I was a hard-headed person. I never listen to my parents. I was never been a good daughter to my mom. Now that my mom is getting older. She's already 66 years old. I seldom see her after I got married. I tend to realize that I should have spent more time with my mom. Create good memories with her. I honestly wanted to take her with me to my place because she's been so stressed with my dad and my 2 brothers. I wanted my mom to live peacefully and happy but of course, Dad will surely be mad at me if I do that.

Closing thoughts

No matter how many fights and understanding I had with my mom, she will always be my mom. The one who gave me life. I felt sorry for all the heartaches and stress that I cause my mom. I hope I can still spend more years with my mom.

Thank you for your precious time.

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