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Disclaimer: First of all, this is not my writing beach, I'm more used to write about cryptocurrencies and Bitcoin Cash, it's a challenge to me but like anything in life I accepted and here's my story!
But a certain friend of mine asked me how I have been handling a marriage that is more than 15 years old, since for him it's practically impossible!
Well, it is not easy to maintain long marriages, more because they have many challenges, sacrifices, distrust and everything that men face in their daily lives.
But to understand a little bit how I maintain my marriage it is also necessary to understand how it all started, after all it is necessary to have a good foundation for a good marriage, without it my friends, better not start a relationship or even live with the person.
At the time I started dating my wife, we were both very young, I was 17 and she was 14 years old. During this period, everything was new and we did not measure the consequence of what a sexual relationship could have an effect on our future. After a year of dating we started, in agreement with the 'sexual' relationship and since then until today we never stopped.
Because we were so young and uninformed, we didn't use protection and as a result she got pregnant. And to her amazement, just to see how young we were, she didn't realize it and only got alarmed three months later when she realized her period didn't go down.
I remember it was a general panic at the time and I, when she told me, didn't know what to do, but I never denied it or neglected it. I have always been responsible, my father always taught me to take responsibility for my own actions, and with this teaching I maintain myself and my kids until today.
Well, it was not easy to go and tell the elders what was going on, but fortunately, no one had the audacity to take drastic measures, what the families agreed was that we should all continue with our studies and after the birth of the child would be care of the elders, my mother and the older sister of my then girlfriend at the time, and now my wife.
That didn't please me at the time because I just turned 18 and could study in the night and in the day hustler to find a job, and using that thought and without anyone knowing, I enrolled in the night course and went looking for a job during the day. It was difficult at the time but I finally got a job at a fumigation company.
It was my first job and it was also where I concluded that working physically was not for me, as I always had to make my own decisions and work, but as the situation demanded, I went to work there.
It took a long 9 months until my first child was born and when that happened I discovered the value of being a father and being able to take care of my own children by myself without anyone's help, just me and my wife.
She was born healthy weighing a good 3.79 KG and had that look of a child who came into this world to triumph, she was born strong and firm, the drooling daddy here couldn't stand happiness.
But while this was happening, problems also came with it.
First, my wife at the time was still younger and studying, she needed to go to school even days after giving birth. Her sister, who at the time lived with her, demanded. And so it had to happen, in the afternoon she continued with her studies and at night she stayed with the baby. During the period when she wasn't there, my mother and her sister were with the baby.
It was an extremely difficult period, but after a short time, as it was routine, the child got used to the situation and the weight kind of reduced.
Time passed, and things improved in an almost imperceptible way, who didn't see us when our little one was born, it seemed that we got away with it easily but no, we had big challenges.
As the two of us were growing up, we were seeing other girls and boys who pleased our eyes and we were tempted to meet them, just to understand, I already had some girlfriends before I met my current wife but, on the other hand, she never had.
These challenges were daily and tormented mine and her head, but thank God we stand firm until today! this
Anyone who thinks that keeping a long and happy marriage is easy is mistaken, this is a very dangerous thought and we must always keep an eye on our conscience so that misunderstandings do not happen:
We never argue in front of our kids
We do not discuss trivial matters at the table or even discuss our private matters with neighbors, friends or family
We always try to keep our differences out of reach for many
Money matters we discuss together and make medium, short and long term plans
I have the task of providing the family with food and livelihood.
She keeps the house clean, takes care of the children, the household economy, all the joint bills and most importantly she runs the house, and I run the backyard with all necessary arrangements in it.
A very important aspect for a marriage to last a long time is that the man has to do what he is supposed to do (provide his family's livelihood) and the woman must also do what is incumbent on her. There has to be mutual respect between them, and if possible, be best friends, because only then when one is making a mistake will the other party know how to draw attention.
Monologue: I've been married for over 15 years and I've seen many couples separate a lot because no one knew how to be, the woman wanted to do the man's jobs and the man in turn always wanted to know where his wife is, or what she is up to do. Well, I don't disagree with women who want to do jobs that provide support for the home, that's a good thing, because if this woman is married and likes her husband and children, it can also help with the expenses in home.
'But that does not always happen!'.
Men who control their women with an iron fist are likely to be betrayed. If you love your wife and trust her then what is the reason for control?!
Marriages are not easy to manage, I maybe got lucky and found someone who is at my level of thinking, but I could also have found someone who could make me (or me to her) serious trouble.
Dialogue is always positive in a couple, if the couple does not talk and discuss their issues, then how will they maintain harmony in the home!