@ZehraSky 13 November 2021

Thinking of the future

The days are flying by so fast. There are a lot of things I have not been able to do like publishing my October 2021 articles summary. I might try to publish it before the 15th of November but I am not so sure since that will be midterms week. You know, I kinda wonder how my past self managed to be so active in read.cash and noise.cash while still managing to crochet and sew some stuff. I kinda miss that energy I once had. Now, it always felt like I am so tired despite having completed 8 hours of sleep. Maybe I am just really burnt out. I am not sure what to do anymore. As of tonight, I am officially feeling scared because my right hand is aching a lot which is bad because I need it to write a lot of our activities. I cannot exactly pass a project with bad handwriting since I am an engineering student so it is expected that my handwriting is legible even if we did not take Engineering Drawing. Another thing is that if my dominant hand is hurting then I cannot crochet the gifts I plan on giving out for Christmas as well as my birthday gift for myself. There are only a few weeks left and then it willbe my birthday again. It feels nostalgic because I remember that last year, my partner gave me virtual flowers on the days leading up to my birthday. Talk about effort haha. And now I am surprised that my birthday is gonna come around again. Hopefully, this year, I can spend the day with my partner. Not trying to jinx it yet since for the past years I learned that my birthday is around the time when we have our finals HAHA. Another thing on my mind is how to introduce my partner to my family. Ever since I mentioned about him to them, they kept asking me when I would introduce him. I am still not sure because I want to make sure he will be comfortable. Maybe I can introduce him before the year ends, maybe not. That is for the future me to worry about. I have never been fond of looking that mich into the future since it can always change no matter how well one plans for it. So I decided long ago to not try and set a strict future path to take. I just imagine some vague and general idea of where I want to be in life at certain points so that I don't get lost. So, I do not think of the future much. Sure, I have some events that I cannot help but think if happening. One example is the days when I would finally complete the return service for my scholarship. It is just one tiny thing that keeps me moving forward. As much as I prefer living in the present, I know that it is important to look up once in a while and try to see a bit of the future just so I can adjust my course of action if it is no longer working. After all, what use is it if I move forward fast if I do not know where to go. I would rather move at a constant speed as long as I am sure where I am going with it being a flexible path that can change as situation changes. For now though, I would just want to take each day one at a time. I find that it helps a lot in keeping my breakdowns to a minimum. If I try to think too much of all future deadlines at once I usually feel so cold and I find it hard to breathe. So this is what I decided to do from now on. I also decided to get back to my original daily routine. As the sememster progresses, I stopped doing the habits that I have cultivated in the last few months just because I feel so tired from academics. But now I realized that it was probably one of my biggest mistakes. When I stopped doing my daily routine, my life fell into a chaos which led to me being more overwhelmed than I would have otherwise been. So I plan on getting myself back on track in time for my 21st birthday. I really want to feel a bit better when my birthday comes around. I feel likeI deserve to celebrate since I have been doing my best all year. **Thank you for reading this article!** If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here: ****September 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/september-2021-articles-summary-7febda16 ****August 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/august-2021-articles-summary-cb068f97 ****July 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/july-2021-articles-summary-fc106569 ****June 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/june-2021-articles-summary-baeb334f ****May 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/may-2021-articles-summary-5ba6d0c7 To show my appreciation for the support that I have been receiving, please accept a small gift I prepared for the first reader. https://branch.wallet.bitcoin.com/xrDJ7s7o9kb