The days are flying by so fast. There are a lot of things I have not been able to do like publishing my October 2021 articles summary. I might try to publish it before the 15th of November but I am not so sure since that will be midterms week.
You know, I kinda wonder how my past self managed to be so active in read.cash and noise.cash while still managing to crochet and sew some stuff. I kinda miss that energy I once had.
Now, it always felt like I am so tired despite having completed 8 hours of sleep. Maybe I am just really burnt out. I am not sure what to do anymore.
As of tonight, I am officially feeling scared because my right hand is aching a lot which is bad because I need it to write a lot of our activities. I cannot exactly pass a project with bad handwriting since I am an engineering student so it is expected that my handwriting is legible even if we did not take Engineering Drawing.
Another thing is that if my dominant hand is hurting then I cannot crochet the gifts I plan on giving out for Christmas as well as my birthday gift for myself.
There are only a few weeks left and then it willbe my birthday again. It feels nostalgic because I remember that last year, my partner gave me virtual flowers on the days leading up to my birthday. Talk about effort haha. And now I am surprised that my birthday is gonna come around again.
Hopefully, this year, I can spend the day with my partner. Not trying to jinx it yet since for the past years I learned that my birthday is around the time when we have our finals HAHA.
Another thing on my mind is how to introduce my partner to my family. Ever since I mentioned about him to them, they kept asking me when I would introduce him. I am still not sure because I want to make sure he will be comfortable. Maybe I can introduce him before the year ends, maybe not. That is for the future me to worry about.
I have never been fond of looking that mich into the future since it can always change no matter how well one plans for it. So I decided long ago to not try and set a strict future path to take. I just imagine some vague and general idea of where I want to be in life at certain points so that I don't get lost.
So, I do not think of the future much. Sure, I have some events that I cannot help but think if happening. One example is the days when I would finally complete the return service for my scholarship. It is just one tiny thing that keeps me moving forward.
As much as I prefer living in the present, I know that it is important to look up once in a while and try to see a bit of the future just so I can adjust my course of action if it is no longer working. After all, what use is it if I move forward fast if I do not know where to go. I would rather move at a constant speed as long as I am sure where I am going with it being a flexible path that can change as situation changes.
For now though, I would just want to take each day one at a time. I find that it helps a lot in keeping my breakdowns to a minimum. If I try to think too much of all future deadlines at once I usually feel so cold and I find it hard to breathe. So this is what I decided to do from now on.
I also decided to get back to my original daily routine. As the sememster progresses, I stopped doing the habits that I have cultivated in the last few months just because I feel so tired from academics. But now I realized that it was probably one of my biggest mistakes.
When I stopped doing my daily routine, my life fell into a chaos which led to me being more overwhelmed than I would have otherwise been. So I plan on getting myself back on track in time for my 21st birthday. I really want to feel a bit better when my birthday comes around. I feel likeI deserve to celebrate since I have been doing my best all year.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
September 2021 Articles Summary
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Let me pick it from the base... Try and celebrate because you have worked all year. You deserved it. Happy 21st birthday in advance even though I know it's too early...
Try and relax as much as you can. Take yourself to spa, try to rest as much as you can. You have a lot planned out and you don't want anything to frustrate that. So sorry, my friend.
As for your boyfriend, try and ask him when it would be convenient for him and if he has plans on seeing your people anytime soon. That would help.