Recollecting My Firsts

March 31, 2022 ( Thursday )

Hello readcash citizens all over the globe! How is your last day of the month? Mine is not that good for I am not feeling well. I have a dysmenorrhea right now but that can't stop me from writing today. I just finished taking my rest after washing our curtains and having our lunch. The quick nap lessen my pain from dysmenorrhea that is why I opted to visit this platform and read some articles.

I have read sis Chelle18's article just a few minutes ago and that gave me an idea what to write today.

First Crush

Crush is feeling of admiration towards a person. I first felt that feeling when I was in grade 6. (Yes, ang aga ko po nagkacrush,hihi) He was my classmate and a son of one of our teachers. He was also the heartthrob of the school. He was intelligent and a smart-looking boy. Most of the girls in the school admired him. Some even sent flowers and letters just to be noticed by him. At first, I didn't like him for he was naughty too. There was one time that I punched and slapped him out of anger. After what I had done, I was afraid that he might tell his mother, who was our TLE teacher. I was terrified that she might fail me in her subject but I was surprised that he didn't do it. After that incident, he became distant to me which I glad for. But fate was such so playful. There was an event in the school and we became partners. That was awkward for us to perform but we can't do anything because that was for our grades. Then, when we were practicing, his younger brother had a mistake and everybody were all laughing. I was laughing too but when I look at my side, he was there and he was smiling at me. That was strange for everything around us became slowly in motion and all I saw was his beautiful smile. I didn't know what I feel that moment. It seemed like all my hatred and unlikeliness for him suddenly gone because of that smile. That was also the time that I realized that he has a beautiful smile. That was also the time when my feelings for him started to grow. But, I didn't let anyone know about that even my friends. I didn't want to be teased. It only came out when he secretly write his name initial and mine with a heart in the middle. My seatmate saw it and shared it to all our classmates. They started to tease us even the teachers and his mother. (Oh diba, di naman masyadong nakakahiya😅)

First Boyfriend

I was second year high school when I answered my first boyfriend. And guess what? My first boyfriend was my first crush. Fated to love eh?Lol Though he studied at a private school and I was at the public, we can still see each other for our school is situated in their barangay. Every morning, I just walked to school and I can pass their house. Whenever I passed at their house, he was also waiting for a tricycle on his way to his school. Everytime we saw each other, we just smile and nod. Then one night, there was an event in our school and he attended for he was invited by his cousins who was also my classmates. That was the time he confessed his feelings for me. I didn't know what to answer because that was also my first time being courted. So, instead of saying yes, I answered "Basta yun na yun".haha After that, we assumed that we were together already or in a relationship set up. Since, I do not have phone that time and we can't communicate properly, he just sent me his messages thru his cousins. While me as new to that thing, I didn't reply his messages. Whenever there were parties or events again in our school, he attended and that was the time that we can talk to each other. But our relationship lasted for six months only. I found out that he has another girlfriend. My classmate who was a friend also of his other girl informed me about their relationship. After that, I stopped seeing him and just sent my breakup letter.

First Heartbreak

My breakup with my first boyfriend did not affect me that much. Maybe that was because we were not serious or I was not serious with our relationship. The breakup that really shattered my heart was my breakup with my third ex, who was my long time boyfriend. I already shared here why we broke up after the 8 years of being together. I was totally devastated for I believe that he was the one that I can be with for the rest of my life. I built many dreams for us together but that it was all shattered in just a single snap. It really crushed me down for I fought hard for that relationship to stay that long. I had cried rivers of tears because of him and even let passed beautiful opportunities because of always choosing him. I thought that we were already strong enough to face more challenges in our relationship but I was wrong. They are right. The length of the relationship will not give you a guarantee to be with that person forever.

CLOSING THOUGHT

People come and go in our lives. But what's important are the lessons we learned from them. Those past relationships or failed relationships that we had are not mistakes, rather a learning experience or something that we can learn about ourselves. I may had some bad endings with them, but I am thankful of the memories and lessons that are learned for I can use it for my future relationship.

This is it for today guys. Thank you for reading. Till next time. I appreciate you all.🥰

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