Mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is.
I was waiting on the PNR train when this old woman passed by and asked if she can sit with me in the shed. I just gently nodded and smile. We had been waiting the train for almost 1 hr but still, no train showed up. I am now planning move and just look for a taxi but the old woman talked and said "ng tagal naman ng tren, mukang hindi na ko mahihintay ng asawa ko'", and when I looked on her face, it was pale. And akala mo galing lang sya sa matinding iyak.
"Nasaan po ba si tatay?" I asked.
"Nasa ospital. 50/50 na sya ngayon. Kakatawag lang kasi ng anak ko sakin kagabi at ngayon lang ako nakapag paalam sa amo ko na pupuntahan ko na sya". she replied and this time, tears are now falling again on her face.
At that moment, I do not know what kind of empathy should I offer. Lalo na hindi ko naman ganoon kakilala si manang. But honestly, I really felt sad about what I've heard.
And then she spoke again and said, ''Sya na lang kasi ang nasa bahay namin. Kelangan kong mag work dito dahil wala na magpapakain samin dalawa. Putol na yung kaliwa niyang paa kaya di na din sya makapag tricycle. Ngayon, dinala na sya sa ospital ng anak ko dahil ilang linggo na daw hindi nakain ng maayos at nagsasalita. Sabi ng doktor may depression daw siya eh. Ano ba yung depression Ineng? Sabi kasi doon ng mga kapitbahay namin eh baliw na raw ang asawa ko at kinakausap na niya daw sarili niya ilang linggo na nakakaraan. At hindi ko alam bakit niya magagawang kitilin sarili niyang buhay eh lagi iyon nagsisimba noon".
I can't believe what Manang said. I think they are both in their 60's. When she said that her husband have depression, I started to wonder why and how did her husband got this mental illness.
''Nay, malungkot na po siguro si tatay. Wala po bang pwedeng ibang magbantay sakanya or makasama mo siya?'' I replied.
''Lahat naman ng tao nalulungkot Neng. Pero bakit parang di ko na makilala asawa ko kapag magka videocall kami.'', she said, as her tears can't stop falling from her face.
This time, I knew that she really don't know what depression means is. I am 23 and studying psychology right now but I don't know what approach will I use to say. I also can tell that Manang really don't know something about this illness.
''Nay, seryosong sakit po yung depression. Pag punta nyo po doon kay tatay eh kamustahin niyo po maigi. Hindi naman po siguro baliw si tatay. Kelangan lang niya po minsan ng makakausap dahil kamo mag isa na lang sya sa bahay ninyo. For sure po kayo talaga ang hinahanap hanap niya.". These were the exact words I just told her.
"Sana maabutan ko pa siya Neng, kakausapin ko na din ang amo ko na bibitawan ko na yung trabaho para makasama siya." She replied while wiping her tears.
That moment, I froze and took some moment to think about the people I love. I realized that not everyone who smiles is really happy. Not everyone who jokes do not deal with some mental problems. This time, I started to think and wonder about the people I talk to and those individual that I met.
Now, I am thinking about my partner. He is a good and responsible man for me. He loves to joke around, and always gives me this romantic-comedy relationship. In our last fight, it was actually a major one that I just decided to quit on him but when we talked about it, I realized so many things. I just can't lose this man. He loves me to the point that he wants to succeed in his career so that he can give me a good life in the future. I can't lose him not because he is stable. I want him to be with me forever because he always brings out the best in me. And with him, I am always at peace. He always supports me and he always there for me. I realized how good he is that he always tries to comfort me even at my worst and downfall. Days after the last fight, I just can't stop thinking about him if he is truly fine with my attitude towards him. I now wondering if he is totally okay with our relationship. I could tell that we have this very huge differences and I am still adjusting to a lot of things. I started to think about his mental. Is he totally fine? Is there something that bothers him? Is he needs to take some rest?
To all my readers out there, Is there anyone that you're wondering about and if they're okay? Ask them. Simple "Kumusta ka?" means a lot.
-End-
Again, thank you for stopping by my article for today! If you still haven't read my previous articles, here are these:
And if ever that you like fiction and something Horror stories, maybe you would like to read these:
PUBLISHED: APRIL 21, 2022 TIME: 6:30 PM PST ARTICLE: #93
Ateeeee sino ka para paiyakin ang bunso mooooo? 🥺😭
Bigla tuloy akong natauhan ay, siguro ganito din naiisip ni Papa ngayon. Huhu~ promise, iintindihin ko pa s'ya hanggang kaya ko.
Naaawa ako 'dun sa ale. Paano na s'ya kapag nawala asawa n'ya? Eka pa naman n'ya is wala nang nagpapakain sa kanila? Asaan kaya mga anak nila? 💔