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My Two Stupid Valentines, Sort of!!

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
Written by   412
7 months ago

Hello my lovelies, good morning one and all.. Today am gonna make a valentine's post as a part of #ValentineDayContest2022 , the contest arranged by our none other than lovely users here @PVMihalache @Jane @Infinity.

BUT... before I even start my real life experiences with this day, lemme start by telling you two facts about me, number 1, I never dated anyone before my marriage as I had an arranged marriage and number two, I strongly from the bottom of my heart and soul believe that Valentine's day is created as a part of capitalism and commercialization to squeeze money out of innocent normal people who are in love.. POINT BLANK PERIOD... and that is why I never cared about this day as I always believed that love is not bound to one day, you can show your love towards others each and everyone and cherish them until the end of your time..

Now coming to my stories..

I fed Him:

MarocMama

This happened when I was working in an MNC in India. Being a small town girl who moved from a literal town to a total busy city was such a shock to me even though it was within my own country and we speak same language too.. Everything was overwhelming as I noticed boys girls aunts uncles even babies are super quick in everything.. things keep moving, there is no rest and everyone is busy doing something or the other.

In this pace, I struggled as I wanted to adjust, our town is such a chilled back place where people do things at their own pace though.. My day 1 at the office was okay and I was told that the actual building that am gonna work is the other side of the end of the town.. gosh.. A month passed and I got to know some of my colleagues and became friends with one of the boys there. Mind you, am the type of "bruhh" girl who makes friends with boys easily than girls as I do not used do any stuff related to girls like makeup or fashion or gossip etc.. So, that friend became my office bestie quickly and he out of the blue suddenly told me that his friend, who is also my colleague have a crush on me.. I was like "where did this come from"... Don't he realize am also a guy?? ughh.. here it starts..

I talked to him many times before but never realized he had a crush on me until my office bestie told me so.. Slowly I understood the times that guy insisted on sitting at my table along with my friend during lunch and dinner breaks. I mean, they are three thick friends who all are boys and all of them used to sit with me alone like honeyyy there are other people at the office, why don't you go sit with them lol.. it all made sense after my friend told me about that guy.. Anyway...

One fine night, it was our dinner time and my friends left already and I had an escalation to finish, this dude who had a crush on me pretended as if he had work and waited until I finish mine and he asked me to go down to the street instead of office canteen to eat dinner.. I was surprised but accepted the offer as I hated our canteen's food as it never tasted good and we both went down. He was a little nervous and I noticed that. We have a lot of street shops in our office lane where 99% of them are food related. We went to a shop and he ordered "Masala dosa" (pancake in English) and he brought two plates to me. I picked mine and started eating mine as if nothing.. Out of blue... THIS BLEEP asked me "Feed me" and I looked left, right to my back and at the sky and gave him a puzzled look.. "are you talking to me???"

He confidently said "yes, feed me.." and he pulled my plate to him, gave me his plate and gave a "aaaaaaaaaa" mouth as wide as open.. I wanted to shove the whole dosa inside his mouth and choke him but he said "we are not going back until you feed me".. he was actually hilarious but also serious while saying this and he actually meant that we ain't going back as I waited there for 10 minues and he kept saying "aaaaaaa".. Gosh, I wish a swarm of bees went inside his mouth to make him close it, but that did not happen as life wanted me to pretend me as his mother for that night.. I closed my eyes, said my prayers and started feeding him.. Imagine the scene

I feed him a bite

He finishes and aaaaaaaaaaa

I feed him looking around to see if anyone from my office notices me

He goes "grind, swallow, gulp and aaaaaaaa"

This happened to 5 minutes and such a pig finished his food within no time.. I intentionally fed him bigger bites but he some how managed to swallow everything. I was impressed and thought "sweetie, you swallow better than some women"

ufff, it was all over in few minutes and I quickly finished my dinner and "I swear to the heavens back to hell, never again" and suddenly, my canteen food seemed like a wedding feast to my senses. Some men are nuts dude, quite literally...

He asked me WHATTTTTTTT....

Pixabay.com

This is my second experience I have gone through with men which made me appreciate my arranged marriage well lol.. so, the story goes..

My batch, meaning, everyone who joined my office on the same day or more or less the same time as me were put in one batch and we were allotted to go to training of two months. My training was the best part of my life as we were getting paid even though we were just listening and enjoying our initial days learning. I completed one month and we had an assessment on that day. I went inside my cubicle to finish mine and were told that once we finish it, we were not supposed to disturb others and have to sit right in our spot until everyone finishes it. We were given an hour and I finished mine in 15 minutes, and had idle time of 45 minutes.. ahh the curse of being a good listener lol..

My trainer noticed me and he was nice enough to tell me that I can open my office account in the training room and can check real time applications but strictly warned me not to type anything. I agreed and opened my real life office account on that computer and immediately, something popped up.. I noticed that out office oracle had a "Chat" application installed and works for every single employee of the office no matter where they are in the world because it is a centralized application and you can talk to anyone in the world (anyone who works for the same company and within the company of course)..

I saw a "Hi" from the chat and I replied even though I do not know squat about him.. I realized that is a male employee by his name and he works in another location some 1500 kms away from me in the same country... check this if you do not believe me

Google search

That pic is a google search from the city am working vs the city he is talking from.. moving to the story, we had our initial exchange of names and etc and Let me ask you the next question what he would have asked me...

Anyone can guess??? no?? I will give you three seconds to guess, his first question was "what is your name".. what could be his second question???

1...

2...

3...

Couldn't guess? you might have probably thought, oh... he would have asked "what process are you working?" "what is your educational background??" "what is your native??" .. oh oh no... no sweetie... his second question to a complete stranger he literally met 2 seconds before was

"Let's go to a vacation this weekend, shall we????"

I was like "Huhhhhhh???????, oh sweet lord brother you just met me" and he was like "yeah, So???"

TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS... some people make it very easy to serial killers i swear to God... I mean, wh.. who.. who the f.. what kin of... wha.. what did i jus....????

Who asks s stranger to go to vacation with them they just met? I thought drugs weren't allowed in the office and God knows what was he on when he said that. And then get this, the audacity of him to become mad on me for saying no...and he called me boring in the chat and closed it when I said..

"I'm not boring sweetie, I'm just pro at not dying easily ..but okay what do I know..." hahaha ... I did not open my chat for anybody for next month I can assure you that.. Some men are more thirsty than dying children in some countries omg.. They think they got swag but let me tell you, hyenas got more swag than them...

Anyways, these are my lovely dating not so much experiences in my life and God knows what other experiences I would have gotten if I had actually scraped the tip of the ice-berg..

II hope you had good laugh or cringe or both reading this and thank you all for being so awesome and wholesome.. At least men here in read are amazing... let's raise a valentine toast to our amazing Men in our community... Here's to you all, love you guys...

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
Written by   412
7 months ago
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Comments

🤣 🤣 I laughed so hard reading this. The way you narrated your experiences shows how good of a writer you are lol. Some guys are just funny, the second one was even more creepy. Chech your valentine contest hashtag though, I think it's missing an "e"

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7 months ago

awww thank you so much for pointing that out, I corrcted it :))

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7 months ago

The first Val story is so hilarious Lol. I could just imagine a swarm of 🐝 flooding into his mouth.. 😂😂

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7 months ago

Hahahaha how I wish that happened to save me lol

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7 months ago

Looks like I am not the only one that feels Valentine's day is overrated, why set a single day to show love to someone when you are supposed to do it everyday? It's just a day for people to rip each other off, but as usual many people will just go with the flow just because they want to be part of the majority

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7 months ago

yes, people going with the flow does not excite me at all :)

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7 months ago

HAHAHAHA, I laugh so hard with that first dude I mean HAHAHA. So maybe he just want you because he need someone who can feed him. I can imaginr that "ahhhhhhhh" sound and I feel like kicking him already lol hahaha.

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7 months ago

lmaooo that was my reaction too sis lol

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7 months ago

I got myself into laughing, well, good luck sister for the challenge

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7 months ago

I got my ribs well cracked 🤣🤣🤣. But the scene of you feeding that young man must be a romantic one🤔.

The second guy got angry? He didn't tried at all. He should have been persistent and maybe it might have worked out🤣

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7 months ago

how in the hell is the first one romantic??? who asks a girl to feed him before even trying to make her comfortable or something... it is nothing but a major red flag lol

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7 months ago

Your narration is so authentic and real that I could that sound aaaaaaa.....

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7 months ago

Hahaha yeah I want people to understand the situation

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7 months ago

Fed him? hahahaah that's cute actually

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7 months ago

hahaha not on the first date lol.. that's disturbing

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7 months ago

Hahhaa this is funny especially the first one. If that happened to me, I will leave him alone:D

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7 months ago

That is exactly what I did haha

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7 months ago

special day is knocking at the door for all lovers. i wish for your 2022 valentines moment.

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7 months ago

I love the first one, hahaha.. In the Philippines, we call that gesture "pacute or pabebe", he really wants your attention and wanted to be loved by feeding him😂

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7 months ago

lmooo not on the first ever date sis.. that's weird.. maybe after a couple of days if the girl is comfortable with him, he can ask that...

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7 months ago

Maybe he thought that you like him too, that's why, hahaha

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7 months ago

"thought" is a dangerous word lol... Affirmative is good :)))) always affirm with the opposite gender, never "assume"... men need this lesson

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7 months ago

I've read a lot about Valentine's Day in the last two days. This Valentine's Day is not just for couples. For everyone.

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7 months ago

in life getting couple is so important. and love will be successful if we get proper one.

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7 months ago

I had watch some documentaries at YT about India and I know there are lot of arrange marriage. I believe love can be develop as long as you see the goodness of your partner.

As for your experiences with those guy, I find them hilarious. OMG, like these men really exist.

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7 months ago

Yes most of the Indian marriages are succesful because people here know how to adjust and not complain much.. even if we complain alot, we do not break partnerships in marriage.. so it always works

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7 months ago

Oh! You're an arranged marriage my friend? I didn't know that since I'm new here hehe, how does it feel? Do you already know when you were still young?

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7 months ago

Yes most of the Indians have arranged marriages even this day and age

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7 months ago

Seems like you've had quite the experience with guys. And in a Conservative country as India. I have always thought about the concept of arranged marriage, the cons and pros of it. I should probably write about it🤔. What do you think? Although, it isn't practiced as such in my country. Only in certain parts

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7 months ago

Well you should write about it, let's read all the interesting bits you got to include :))

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7 months ago

what kind of vacation was him even thinking about 😅

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7 months ago

am pretty sure I would have ended up in a body bag if I had accepted that lol

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7 months ago

My dear friend, your memories were very interesting and funny, I don't know why some people are so light-headed. They don't know that if they show a little respect and affection for women instead of these funny actions, women, on the contrary, will soon be fascinated by them...

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7 months ago

I have seen a movie about planned marriage but I haven't seen someone in real life ask questions because I have a few questions to ask.

Guys can be very fun, there are times we get too confident to shoot our shot. I haven't dated someone without spending few months together to know and study the person carefully.

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7 months ago

There is one thing about confidence, but these guys are plain old stupid lol.. You just can't go out to a vacation with a total stranger that you met like 2 seconds ago... wht sort of confidence is that?? confidence to die in the hands of a serial killer lol

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7 months ago

What the haha. That was cute, doll :D

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7 months ago

Hahaha yeah, cute now but so creepy then lol

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7 months ago

Giving is a way of dedication on Valentine's Day not only for a couple but for the lives of many people. be a good giver friend like this

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7 months ago