The witches of Beveridge!

3rd September 2021 2121

Hello, all you awesome wonderful readers.

By the way, have you stopped lately and looked in the mirror and told yourself that you are Awesome?

Yes ?

No ?

Well what are you waiting for ... go and do it!

Right, you did it? Good, let's get cracking with this wee article to get the weekend rolling.

Do you remember this article Update about Sammy on Wildlife Wednesday ?

Well, this was the article that Sammy the squirrel told me the Wizard was going to burn the naughty witches. However, the witches had disguised themselves and the deadline for August had passed. They believed they were safe BUT there is always a but in life isn't there, well BUT because Sir Michael Scott the wizard has long covid and his memory is a dit doolally at the moment, the August 5th deadline has been delayed by a month and now the date for the burning is September 5th.

Sammy does not want to be like his grandfather Salamuch who was turned into a wooden statue that sits on the wizard's coat, by telling me who the witches are.

Tandpuffs great-grandchildren

Whilst I was in the woods, I met two of the great-grandchildren of Tandpuff the dragon that was. If you remember, TandPuff used to breathe fire and was in charge of cooking at a barbeque, but accidentally due to drinking too much red wine he scorched the Wizard's pet cowfrogs to death, thus making the species extinct. These two wee girls were so chatty and they took pleasure in showing me where some of the witches were hiding.

Now if you remember Dafty getting the welcoming committee together I said I had a chat with Toby and Tug, well those were the brothers of these two girls who are called Tanya and Tonya. Tanya took great pleasure in telling me that she is the elder of the two sisters by 42 seconds (Remember the answer to the Universe is 42!).

However, Tonya although she was the youngest was the chattiest and showed me the path to take to find the first set of witches.

I said goodbye to Tanya and Tonya and hoped they would still be there when I returned later in the week and wandered off in the direction that I was told to go follow.

Morag MacHag and Shirley MacStew

Morag and Shirley are actually sisters-in-law and were both born in 1042, yes I did really say 1 0 4 2. They are ancient and they spoke to me in a dreadful squawk-like voice.

As I walked up to them I heard this high-pitched squawk.

"Hey Eddie Wildlife, get yer arse over here" said the slightly larger mushroom.

"I am coming" I replied.

"You took your time, we have been waiting to tell our story for a couple of hundred years now." said the smaller mushroom.

"Okay, well I am here, who are you?" I asked them.

I swear to you, but the mushrooms seemed to grow as the larger mushroom squawked "Morag, I am Morag MacHag from the clan MacHag and I am a proud witch, and this little one is my sister-in-law and lover Shirley MacStew from the clan MacStew."

"Hello Eddie!" said Shirley in a lower voice.

"Well hello Morag and Shirley, I am very pleased to meet you, may I ask why you are witches and why are you hiding from the wizard?"

"We love to put curses on people, and then those curses make bones and porridge come flying out of their bodily orifices" said Shirley in an evil high pitched laugh "And then they die a slow painful death hahahaha but we can do so much more and we won't tell you until come back and visit again."

"Oh yes" said Morag "We also suffocated our husbands together after they caught us rolling in the hay together".

"I mean why can't we have our fun? These women get to do what they want, but it wasn't like that in our day" bemoaned both Morag and Shirley together.

"We haven't quite been able to beat the Wizard yet, so we disguised ourselves as these beautiful toadstools, aren't we clever Eddie?" exclaimed Morag

"Well, if you ask me, you can't be that good at being witches if you have to hide from an old wizard" I laughed whilst saying that to them.

"Just you wait we will get you Eddie, we are the original shapeshifters you know, but come back and visit us again and we will tell you what our descendants in Asia can do" said Morag.

I laughed and left, heading towards the direction of the next set of witches.

The Bo’ness Witches

I stopped where Tonya and Tanya told me to find the Bo'ness Witches. Can you spot how many toadstools are in this clump?

Well there are actually SIX.

Allegedly in 1679 Annabel Thomson, Margaret Pringle, Margaret Hamilton, William Craw, Bessie Yickar and a second Margaret Hamilton were stopped in a tollbooth at Borrowstounness. This a mouthful so it gets shortened to Bo'ness. They were charged with being witches.

They had been charged with renouncing their baptisms and eating, drinking, dancing AND fornicating with the devil!

"Hello are you the Bo'ness Witches?" I asked.

"Yes we are those bonnie wee lassies, well not William, but we are them, and I am Bessie" said the largest toadstool.

"But I heard that you were strangled at the stake" I said.

"They were nincompoops I tell you, if they burnt us at the stake like they normally did then we would be dead but noooo they tried to strangle us, thought we were dead and left us alone." said William.

"That was lucky!" I exclaimed.

"Their fault, but now that bloody Wizard Michael Scott knows we are alive and hunting us down, he is just jealous" added the second Margaret Hamilton.

TO BE CONTINUED

Do Morag and Shirley remind you of something?

I shall reveal what it is in tomorrows article, but it is believed that a certain monster type is descended from them according to Sir Michael Scott the wizard.

Copyright @TengoLoTodo 2021 and yes All Rights Reserved. All images, words, and ramblings are from the author unless otherwise stated.

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