'The One'

In the Nigeria setting and the world at large even, there are certain decisions that are expected of humans at certain ages or time in their lives. One of those decisions include finding a life partner. In an average develop society, there's really no rule to this, as it is a personal choice, that will natural not be the same for any two people, but in a developing society like Nigeria and India, the situation is not as straightforward as one would expect or want.

There's a certain triangle in the Nigeria society, that every child is expected to follow through their life time. It has education on one side, getting a good job and financial stability on the other side and then settling down with a life partner to start building one's own family.

Choosing a life partner is considered a big deal and every one of the older people seem to have a thing or two to say to you on how you make your decision concerning the matter. Sometimes, some parents go as far as restricting your movement in times like this or even help one make the decision literally and practically.

Like I've said before, there's no one fixed way of doing this right, but my focus is intended to dealing with stereotypes about finding a partner.

First thing I want to address is that there's no automatic alarm that will go off to notify you that you've found the one. Don't get me wrong, there's always hubris at the very beginning of every relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the hubris translate to a confirmation that you've found the one.

Secondly, it's a very big and stupid thing to enter into a relationship, hoping to use it for practice purpose, so when the one comes, you'll be ready. You don't get to Play on people's feeling and emotions like they are robots. Majority of the time, from my little observations, theirs a higher probability of you ending up with your 'soul mate's on your first relationship rather than multiples afterwards. I know you disagree, it's okay.

You're wondering where I'm going with this? Well, my whole point is pointing out that there's almost a 95% chance that everything or most of the things you like in your first relationship is the same things that will be observed in the same rules. This is because all women are created same and share some basic intuitions.

The truth of the matter is finding the one really has very little to nothing to do with euphoric or hubris feeling. It has to do with a conscious decision to commit to one and do everything to see them happy. Because it is more a state of mind than of body, it's really up to you to make that decision to commit. Putting it all together, you'll realise that there's no special one out there waiting for you to come like a knight in shining armour. With this you see that anyone one can actually be the one if you're willing to put the effort to help them work out and become a better person, the kind you desire.

I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but I'm still learning, and I'm really convinced that anyone can be the one, it all depends on how much the other partner is willing to help the other grow into the partner that one would like to have.

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