Immaturity has No Age Limit
I thought I am already a matured woman. I thought I am handling everything with maturity but I guess I am really not fully matured yet. There are times that I still act impulsively and when I finally realize my action I can only slap my face because I let my emotions get the the best of me. Ah! That is not the action that I should do. I shouldn't let my emotion take over my body and let it rampage just like a little kid that is having a tantrums.
When we receive a words that we can't accept there are instances that we will act first before we think. Well, this is just my case to me I don't know about the others. And instead of think first before you act or before you said anything, I will react first before I can think. Napangununahan ng galit agad ganon ಥ_ಥ. And that is also where those past act you do will reappear in you mind. And those will add to the weigh that you are already carrying.
And the result is really bad. Seriously it can't be help sometimes specially when you notice na it's too much already. I cant take it anymore! That's the thought that I can only think. And the dragon me will be awaken and will spread darkness into the whole world, lol. I'm not sure if you can relate to this or am I explaining it clearly lol. You know explaining is not my forte so I will just give an example. It just happen today actually.
Mama is asking me some cash, she said she don't have rice na daw and she also need to pay the electric bills. I didn't say yes to it because all of my money is in stablecoin. And I have some in my read wallet but I am saving it sana so that if ever Bitcoin Cash pump more that is where I will get the cash she need. The plan is I will do it in the end of the Month. And I am still not saying yes to my Mama but I already have that plan.
I know it's also my fault for not saying that it will be delayed. But I just don't want her to, you know, umasa na I can withdraw immediately some cash. So she chatted me again today. Asking Neeeee, wala na akong makain. Seeing the market awhile ago I thought why not withdraw now. I will take this chance because BCH is still $150. So the money is still on the way and then Mama saw me and repeat what she said to me on her chat.
But I still said, "I don't have money yet." But thr money is already on the way I am just waiting for it to arrive. As you can see it's still pending when I screenshot it. And I am still not saying to her that the money is already on the way, I just want to surprise her maybe. And it's still early pa naman so once the money arrive she can still go to the market to buy what she need. But after saying that I don't have the money yet, inaryahan baga naman ako ng "Ang damot mo talaga."
Goodness, that is where my blood boil in anger. I mean, don't get mer wrong but her tone is really different like it is my fault that she don't have money na. And whenever that we can give her money she will always say that we are so madamot even though when she asked we will give if we have something to give. And that is what I hate with my Mama. She doesn't remember the money we gave when she asked before and she asked again and we didn't give her what she asked she will always say that line.
I mean, I know, we know coz she's chatting me and my sibs in Batangas and when she asked if they can give then they will give. Even in her load for her phone we are simultaneously giving her a load. But when it's not given immediately she will say that we are so madamot. Bat naman ganon diba? If it's you do you think you will not feel annoyed on that words? My siblings has a expenses too in Batangas but she doesn't care about that at all. What she want is what's important.
That is why sometimes when she's complaining that my sister is not giving her a load coz she's buying and doing unnecessary thing, I will tell her that. Why not, she deserve it. She is working hard in that place and then she has to think of you too so giving something for her self is not bad coz in the first place it is her money. And she will still give you money if she has money and that little thing that my sister is doing pupunahin mo pa.
Nakakainis lang talaga sa totoo lang. That's why kanina when I got the money in my hand already I am having a second thought if I will give it to her paba. I just thought I should give my Mama a lesson that when we say we don't have money doesn't mean we are madamot. We just don't have money yet to give. See this is where my immaturity comes. I feel like the need to take my revenge. Something like that. I also do this even before you know. Coz even before she's doing it na.
But off course, I can't really do that and once the darkness was lifted in my mind that is where I everything will be clear to me. I just need to be more understanding coz she can't open her small eatery that she's like that. Because wala talagang gaanong tao sa lugar namin. If she did open it without a plan then baka malugi na naman. So, I just thought na I should understand her. Seeing no cash on our pocket can really be depressing so I know where she's coming.
I can be immature sometimes but once I come to my senses and once I already think of it thoroughly that is where my opinion will change. My understanding will be clearer. It's like I was lost for a moment there. And there are really times that our immaturity will come. And it can only happen when we are in a tight situation. But at least right we are still trying to be mature here.
Anyways, how about you? When was the last time that you act like a kid because you can't accept this or that?
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Lead Image from Pixabay.
July 29, 2022
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May pagka immature din Ako kapag lowbat Yung cellphone ko. hahahah