Perfect examples in my family

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood but of respect and joy in each other’s life."

- Richard Bach

In every family/home, there will always be one who you look up to and would love to make as role model to excel in life. So, also, in every family, we have someone who would always support you to become a great person. If you have such individual, just know you are lucky to have them around you. My family, I will say, there are two kinds of examples one needs to see and choose the right path.

Some days ago, my elder sister informed us of having a meeting on google meet as family and also among ourselves. We are five in the family which by God´s grace, we are doing fine and also trying our best to take care of Dad ever since mom is gone. My sister is the best that would always want us to make it in life and never be a liability but be independent. Even if we need something from ourselves, it won´t be as if our lives are depended on each other, but the Joy that everyone of us are doing fine in our fields.

We started the meeting but it was majorly on our two other siblings who are just starting their lives in the higher institution even though the last born is yet to gain admission. My elder sister with my immediate younger sister finished and graduated from University of Benin, 2015 and 2020 respectively. My big sis finished her NYSC service and she got a good paying Job in Lagos while my sister is still serving and also a business entrepreneur. By God´s grace, I also will be graduating from the University, this week precisely and we all are doing fine. So, the meeting is all about our other two siblings.

In my family, my dad happened to be the first born since his two elder siblings died a long time ago, automatically, he became the eldest among the remaining four siblings. My dad never finished school, even when they forced him to, but he couldn´t due to his own decision and right now, he is doing nothing in my hometown with grandma. One out of the other three siblings also didn´t completed her education then and according to what I heard, she declined not going again and right now, she is getting old and has nothing. The only two female siblings and a male went to school and even served their countries and they are doing very fine. Ever since then, they have been carrying the responsibilities of the family and I would say they really tried on us even when our parent couldn´t take care of us like they ought to. Even after mom´s death, they were still helping dad but his addiction to alcohol made him who he is now without anything on him.

We had to explain the two differences of those who went to school and those who didn´t. We explained what asset and liability means and what it is to be independent. Education is very important in one´s life, even if you won´t be making use of the certificate. When you have your certificate, when there is an opportunity for you, there will surely be a way for you. Right now, those who didn´t go to school in my family are depending on those who went and are successful and I don´t know for how long they would continue like that.

After so much talking and making them realize what education means and what to do not to be dependent but independent just as their siblings which is I and other ones, they were sober and they promised to work hard and fight for themselves. We aren´t telling them not to come to us for help, but at least one who needs help must have something even if little and not by coming everyday.

Teach me how to fish is better than giving out your own fish because when the time comes, you will be tired. This is what is happening in the home now because I really feel for the other siblings who would work to feed everyone in the family and also focusing on their own home. Seriously, it is hard depending on other people for survival and you don´t have anything to help yourself.

I am always praying for my big sis because she is already facing many responsibilities too and this is because they know she is now working. Many times, sis would explain what she is going through in Lagos and at the same time, trying to do for the family. She is doing what her strength can carry. At the moment, other extended family are also calling and requesting for one thing or the other. At some point, she had to stop picking some calls. I understand her, she is still young and also has her own career to pursue especially trying to go for her Masters abroad, but right now, family and extended ones are on her neck.

This is why we are always reminding ourselves to work hard, have the best certificate and fight for ourselves not to be a liability to anyone but one who would be able to stand on their own and survive.

Thanks for reading and I wish us the best week ahead.

Photo by Rajiv Perera

[February 20, 2022] (No 51 article for this year)