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I have never started out as a kid who had big dreams but it gradually and eventually grew in me. Most of what I answer to questions like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" was from a script laid before me. Not really intentionally to feed me with "this is the proper answer" but I believe in my heart the script was an aid to "guide" me to the direction to where the adults around me knew what one would call honorable and noble path. And it came from the utmost love and concern.
As years rolled forward, I seemed to miss singling out one direction. Instead, I try everything and discover which ones I want to keep and which ones I would rather not continue pursuing. Hence, I became acquainted with statements like :
I do not know exactly what I want to happen but I know this current situation is not it.
This is when I pay proper attention to options in front of me. And man, I start simulating the if-then-else in my head.
One of the many if-then-else's is building a house in my head. Of course, this branched out from the if-then-else to what-ifs. Then goes back to if-then-else. In short, I enter into a web of fun scenarios.
Like if I become a doctor, I probably will get this much money and I'd get to save some. Then the what-if comes in. What if I do get a lot of money, will I be building my own house? Oh, and if I do get my own house, then I will need to have the following in my house. So I list those down.
Some options come from interjections or verbal wondering or question of a peer. So then it starts a new path and you start meshing that with theirs.
If you are going to put up a business what would it be?
I remember answering :
a coffee shop (rooting from my subconscious want to become a barrista. I was not yet fond of drinking coffee then. But I love the smell of coffee shops)
with lots of books (rooting from my love for reading)
where there is also a spot for open mic acoustic days or nights (rooting from my love for music).
This one, minus the open mic was done by most coffee shops these days. That day dreaming was thwarted early because these cafes popped up long before I even got my first paycheck. So from business owner I became a consumer or customer - that was solidly planned. "Fated" if you must.
So with that thwarted, collectively, the peers decided to build our mansions instead - in our heads of course.
I got to have a library. Yes, room with floor-to-ceiling shelves and shelves of books of all genres.
I got to have a music room. All instruments please! A baby grand in the carpeted center of the room, A drum set caged in a fiberglass corner. The mixer at the far end. All speakers on all corners. An overkill studio. Dream big right?
I got to have a swimming pool. So I would not have to go elsewhere to swim.
I got to have a movie room or entertainment room. Theater! Ah yes, yes!
Ah. Such haven! A peefect abode!
But the reality is dreaming the output is different from the actual works to get there. Plus there is such a thing as UPKEEP.
With the work-from-home setup because of the pandemic, I realized, I never utilized much of what we currently have in our current house.
The living room, which is by function a replica of my day dreams, except the swimming pool part, is where I work in, where I sometimes eat meals in or drink coffee in. Heck, it has become my "bedroom" at some point.
So in the end, I realized, day dreaming those is cool. But chances are, I won't be able to use or make use of the rooms. Turns out, what I need is : a space I can lie down on anytime, a spot where the bathroom or toilet is, a spot where I can sit and face work on, a spot to eat in (not even a kitchen is needed except for washing dishes) and most likely my daily life will play out fine.
Then there is upkeep. Ah yes. If i continue on with my daydreaming I might as well add in a robo helper that will keep everything squeaky clean, dust free and moldless.