What Do We Say To This?

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2 years ago
Topics: Parenting, Life, Story, Blogging, Nigeria, ...

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There are some stories you would hear and you just don't know how to react. There are some you would hear and you would wish you can slap senses into some heads. There are some you would hear and you can't help but wonder where it all went wrong for us as humans because there shouldn't be any rationale behind such action.

We handle stress or pressure differently but that doesn't mean we have to act in a way that defies common sense or put another person in trouble. There is no one in the world that is not battling with one stress or the other, starting from pressure with deadlines, financial obligations and so much pressure that I might not put into words but that is not an excuse for us to act in some ways that the society would still frown at later on.

I visited Twitter and I just knew I would have a story to read and write on as I followed my heart and it wasn't even up to a minute when I came across this story from a young lady that wants people to help raise funds for a young girl whose mother dipped her hands into hot water because she stole fish from the pot.

Here is the background story. The mother stays alone with her two children. One is 8, so I want to believe based on the picture of the girl at the hospital that she is around 4 years old or maybe 6. She has been struggling to make ends meet and just last week, she said she borrowed 10,000 Naira ($18-$20) to start up a food business to at least put food on the table. She is expected to pay an interest of 5,000 Naira (that's half of what she borrowed) on the loan.

She took the money and bought fish. She said she had 19 pieces of those fishes in the pot and she went to the market to get other things to be used. She got back from the market only to meet just 1 fish left. Her daughter ate the rest and she got angry. She got angry to the point of boiling water and she dipped the hands of her daughter in it, causing that baby so much discomfort and injuries.

As much as I want to sympathize with her but I am sorry, what the mother did doesn't make sense. I might not be able to relate to the pressure and pain she was going through to do what she did, I still want to believe that there is no justification for what she did. She is just a child and she later admitted that she knew her child was hungry.

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This is why we must always try and do things with a calm mind. She thought she was under pressure, right? Now, her pressure has increased because the police have gotten involved and she might lose custody of those children as they are trying to raise funds for that child to get better and gain control of her hands again.

There are some things we have no control over and it's about managing the situation well so as not to make a mess of an already terrible situation. The father walked out on her - that's out of her control. She had to fend for herself - that's still within her control to some extent. The girl ate all the fish while she was away - that's not in her control but it could have been avoided if she had satisfied the hunger of that child first before trying to sort out other things. I understand that she wants to make sales first so she can feed them with the profit but that child had no control over the hunger that gripped her also. She is a child and all they do at that age is play, eat and sleep which every parent must understand.

The mother found herself in a dire situation but she made it worse which could have been avoided. What she did to that young girl is inhumane and wicked. No one can understand the pain that girl must be going through and if she is indeed a good mother, she would know that she would also feel that same pain regardless - while watching her writ in pains.

Parenting isn't just about bringing a child to the world but you have to model the life you want them to live going forward. Would she be happy if she got a report that her child did that to her grandchild? It's not surprising when they told us to count 1-10 when we are angry and then 1-100 when we are very angry. Anger is just one letter short of danger and when we don't tame it, we ruin a lot of things that would make others see us differently and it's hard for sympathy to come our way that time.

Parents need to understand the place of priority and all could have been avoided if the child's hunger has been satisfied first. Children don't need to eat too much and giving preference to her would have saved her a lot of trouble. You can't help but feel sympathy for the mother in a way but she had a choice to act better and she didn't. Parenting involves a lot of emotions which is why anyone can be a father or a mother but it takes someone special to be called daddy or mummy. When your child refers to you as father or mother, there is trouble 🤣🤣😂🤣... kidding.

Children would stress you, frustrate you and stretch you but still, there is no justification to inflict injuries on them all because they have done wrong. Being a parent isn't for children and if you can't manage your emotions you would surely fail where parenting is concerned.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why  I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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2 years ago
Topics: Parenting, Life, Story, Blogging, Nigeria, ...

Comments

When I saw the notification on my phoenix browser, I was like how on earth could a true mother who carried a pregnant for good nine months did this to her daughter without even considering the pain she went through before giving birth to her. This made me remember what my grandmother always said to me that not all parents deserve to be called "Abiamo" meaning a true mother coz they don't deserve the name. So heartless, and wicked. I wonder what she could have done if it was someone else daughter.

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2 years ago

Indeed, she's not a true Abiamo. Anyone can be a mother, no doubt, even those without the qualities. You have said it all, I can only imagine what she would do if she wasn't her daughter.

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2 years ago

Children's needs to be protected all the time and no matter what they've done, they don't need to scolded and harm them.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

At all. They don't need to be harmed. The mother was just being wicked.

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2 years ago

That is not right at all. Punishing kids like that is not okay.

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2 years ago

Never okay. She has inflicted pain on the young girl.

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2 years ago

I'm not a mother yet but I'll try my best to manage my anger just so I can't hurt my future kid

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That's the best way, my friend.

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2 years ago

When a friend showed me the picture of the young girls hands, I was very angry but I later calmed down when I read the full story, the mother let her anger to control her and did something very regrettable. I could understand her frustration but that doesn't warrant her dipping her child's hands into boiling water, that is inhumane!

$ 0.04
2 years ago

Exactly. It doesn't warrant it at all. She is frustrated, yes, but she just made matters worse. If she managed to get off the hook, won't she still look for money to nurse the wounds?

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2 years ago

That's a very serious and illegal issue in our country, of course even you will reason out that you are just angry so you done that, it's not an acceptable reason to did this to your child our to anyone.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It's not right to do it to anyone, not to talk of your child, that's so true.

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2 years ago

This is very worrying what people do when they are angry and say their eyes where open after the did has been done. Was their eyes shut before.. Anger isn't really good

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I wondered too, my brother. I am sure she must be regretting it right now.

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2 years ago

sure, she would

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2 years ago

Absolutely.

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2 years ago
$ 0.00
2 years ago

😊😊

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2 years ago

It's not a good discipline it's too much for a child. If a psychologist will rate it's gonna be fail. Children needs a mellow discipline not in a way that is inappropriate.

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2 years ago

That's right. That was too inappropriate.

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2 years ago

Thanks again my dear friend Olasquare 😊🙏

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Anytime.

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2 years ago

I may not yet a mother but one thing I am sure of I will NOT come to this point like that mother did to her child!

I grew up too experiencing scarcity in food, my Mother been strugling a lot and I remember there were times me and my sister took some food merchandise on her basket! Yes she got mad but only scolded us, maybe she also understand that we are just hungry kids.

What the mother did is wrong ! So wrong as instead to resolve the issue, she make the things worst🙄🙄.

Now I belong to those who want to slap some senses😂

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Hahahaha let's join hands together and slap some senses into her.

Your mother understood the situation. This is why it's important to communicate with your child. If she had communicated with the child even before feeding her, that child wouldn't have gone into the pot to eat the fish. She assumed the child should understand but that's a costly assumption. This is why we always need to talk to children.

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2 years ago

just tell me when and where dear, I'll be there! Haha

yeah, communication is really the key in all type of relationship

$ 0.02
2 years ago

🤣🤣😂😂😂 I trust you, my explorer friend.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

hahha now I am explorer It's been a while I haven't explore Ola!

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2 years ago

Hahahaha I am sure it would be worth the wait. You are building the energy for a mind-blowing one hahaha. Don't scream too much.

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2 years ago

Hahaha can't help but laughed upon reading this😂.

Yeah I really need to build some energy😂, should I squat daily to have a strong legs and thigh😉.

Now I am excited for that mind-blowing to happen. Maybe need to find some soundproof room for a while😁

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2 years ago

😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can imagine your favourite position already with the squats and legs strength building. That sound proof room would come in handy...for the sake of the neighbours 🤣😂

$ 0.01
2 years ago

😂🤫🤫 not all the time cause you know it's tiring😂.

I am okay with any as long as it would not break my bones😂.

Opss, what I have been telling here😂.

Can't afford a sound proof room in our house but there' s lot of hotels 😁

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2 years ago

Hahahaha as long as your bones are intact hahaha.

Hotels...that's classy, funky and nice. It's like honeymoon all over again.

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2 years ago

Haha yeah😄

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2 years ago

😂😂🤣

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2 years ago

I think her way of reprimanding her child is way too much, if that happened here in PH, she would've sent to jail by the Social Welfare Department.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It was too much, absolutely. The Police are already involved now and she would lose on both ends.

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2 years ago

That's just sad my friend, but yeah, she's got to pay for the consequences of her actions.

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2 years ago

Absolutely.

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2 years ago

Hmm... The form of punishment used for the child does not measure up to what the child did. We should always be calm to act right whenever we are under pressure.

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2 years ago

Exactly, Tife, it doesn't add up at all. I wonder if she would cut off her head too if she got a headache.

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2 years ago

She over did the whole thing, now that poor little girl will be in pains. Being a parent is somehow hard, disciplining a child using violence won't help at all. She should have caution the child, tell her that what she did is bad and not using hot water on her.

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2 years ago

She over did it, no doubt. She still hasn't taught that child anything because all the child would see is a wicked and inconsiderate mother.

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2 years ago

Right from that very moment that incident happened, that child will never be comfortable getting close to her. She will now see her mom as a terror which is so bad.

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2 years ago

Exactly... She has lost on both ends. The child won't see her the same again neither will the law take it easy with her.

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2 years ago

She has learned her lessons.

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2 years ago

Absolutely. Let's hope she has.

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2 years ago

Indeed, if only the mom also consider the needs of her children I think they won't do such action. But we can't also blame the mom, as maybe she's already suffering from depression, this kind of illness can literally possess a person into evil. As what I have said sometimes depression makes a person into a mentally incapacity. Maybe she's Struggling a lot and because of too much pressure she started to felt miserable and controling her emotions is already tough on her side. But anyway what's wrong is wrong, we can't avoid the fact that hurting anyone unintentionally isn't an excuse for the crime that a person did, she/he must pay the consequences. I pray for the better of her child.

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2 years ago

I love the angle you showed regarding depression and how you concluded it as well, my friend. Indeed, what's wrong is wrong. She should have known better.

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2 years ago

Hmmm eleyi lo far o Why would she do that maybe the girl was hungry that's why she ate the fishes

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It was really annoying. You need to see that child's hands. Ah.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Some people do overreact I swear

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2 years ago

That's true.

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2 years ago

Too bad, why would a mother do such to her child. It's bizarre, a terrible thing that shouldn't be heard of.

No matter what the level of her frustration is, she shouldn't have taken it out on the child because it shows that she was hungry. A child well-fed wouldn't have eaten 18 pieces of fish and it is one of the reasons why I insist that bringing a child to the world isn't an obligation, we must be ready to take care of them.

She must be regretting her actions now, disciplining a child doesn't have to go in that direction she went. That's just a total act of wickedness to me, she hasn't taught the girl any lesson than inflicting pain on her.

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2 years ago

God bless you, brother. She has taught that child nothing because all she would see is a wicked mother who starved her and then punished her because she doesn't even understand anything yet. The mother should have been smart enough to feed her first.

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2 years ago

Hmmmm. What do we say to this... The children, probably because of hunger ate fish they had seen their mum's pot. Oblivious of the fact that the fish is for sale ate them. And you punish them so cruelly. I suppose she let her emotions get the better of her. Coincidentally, I just finished drafting an article on parenting.

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2 years ago

She definitely went too far and her emotions got the better of her. Not a smart move at all.

I would check out your post shortly.

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2 years ago

That was a very bad action by the mother. Maybe she took it as a correctional measure what if the hand get paralysed in the process, the girls would be without hands. So bad! I remember how my dad used to threaten us with matchet that he would cut off our hands if we are caught stealing 🤦🤦

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Hahaha. She definitely went too far. A child at that age only knows about food and there is no telling what they can do when they are hungry.

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2 years ago

For me? That kind of disiplanation is too much for suck a kid when it happens here in the Philippines I surely that will gonna go to jail.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly. It's too much. The punishment doesn't fit the crime at all...for such a child.

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2 years ago

Parent should learn to strike the balance. There are time you need to discipline a child and there are also time you caution only.

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2 years ago