Some People Are Not Ready - Say No.

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"I regret last night, Mabel. I am truly sorry." Alex pleaded with Mabel with his sad countenance.

"I am used to hearing this every time, Alex. This is the 12th time and yes, I am counting. You keep doing it over again, even when we were courting." - Mabel blurted.

"But I am truly sorry, I mean it this time. I promise you, it won't happen again." Alex still pleaded.

It wasn't long again, Mabel got delayed in traffic on her way home from work while Alex finished up early and got home before Mabel. Mabel was so scared the traffic would complicate things further for her, so she managed to find a spot, parked her car and hopped on the bike to quickly head home. She felt she would at least, still get home before her husband not knowing he had been home.

She knew she left the car in good hands because she managed to find a security spot and they know her there. On getting home, she opened the door and in a flash, she found herself on the floor. She was still trying to catch her breath when she received a heavy kick to her tummy. She held on to her tummy in pain as Alex watched blood dripping from her to the floor.

He wasn't even remorseful, he spitted on her, left her in the pool of her blood and the loud bang on his way out gave way for the neighbours to know Alex has done it again. Her neighbours came, carried her and took her to the hospital that night.

She actually got delayed because she left the office and went to the clinic to get tested. She was hoping to share the news with her husband that night that they were expecting a baby but now, the azure sky who promised her a beautiful morning, the splendour of it has been ruined by a violent man.

The End.

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I shared this short story to highlight the issue most people face and the warning signs they ignored while dating someone. Someone has shown you the tendency of being a violent man or a woman and you think because you love him or her, that person would change? If they haven't changed before meeting you, the pressure of the relationship and life would take its toll on them and they would get worse. If someone cannot manage his emotions while you were dating, don't expect them to do better when you are both married because they won't.

It takes someone willing to change to effect some changes. No one has the power to change anyone but the person has to be willing to change by himself or herself. If they love you enough, then they would be willing to let some tiny details go and try to teach you better. They might love you, don't get me wrong but definitely not enough because who would want to raise their hands against someone they claimed to love anyway?

I watched a short movie around 2 years ago titled "I Got Flowers". It depicts everything I would want to say and you can search it on YouTube...okay, let me make it easier for you, HERE IT IS.

The guy in question used to gift her flowers every single time he abused her physically and she kept collecting the flower. From little arguments from a remote control fight to food that wasn't tasty enough for him and other wide range of things that got the better of his anger which made him repeatedly assault her physically. The last flower she got was the one at her grave and that guy simply moved on again with his life - definitely on to another conquest.

Victims of domestic violence need to understand that they are not doing themselves any good by staying in an abusive relationship. Those who abuse you mentally too are also worse because, in both instances, they water down your existence and make you feel like you are just a sinister piece of work. You don't have to accept that name and you don't have to sell yourself short...don't give any discount either.

For the sake of those who truly love you, you need to stay alive. It doesn't matter for how long you have known this person, I believe your life should matter more. Stay alive for yourself and for the sake of those who love you. Many people always ask the question, "Where do I start from when I leave him or her?" (I said her because women also assault just one of the very few rare cases). I always give an easy answer too because wherever you think you want to start from is better than starting from 6 feet under.

Most women would tell you they are staying for the sake of their children and in as much as I would want to reason with them, I am sorry, I can't because when she eventually dies, she has just given those children into the hands of someone who wouldn't care about them. If he didn't care enough about the mother, why would he care about the children? Not only that, she has taught those children that it is okay to accept being beaten - for the girls and to beat - for the boys but if she managed to draw strength and leave that abusive relationship or marriage, she has taught them never to settle for less because they deserved better and she made them understand a valuable lesson which is, they always have a choice.

It's okay to make a mistake because sometimes our choices might let us down and betray us. Sometimes we allow our emotions to cloud our judgement which allows us to make bad calls especially in choosing "a wrong person" but we don't have to live with those bad choices especially the ones that we can change. Some people are not just ready for a relationship and by the way they treat you, you would know, so, stay away from them, say no to them, let them go ahead and find their kind (because they will) but it doesn't have to be you.

Thank you for your time.

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