Rant: Decisions.
Life is about growth and when some people have proved to be incapable of growing you just have to let them be. They will learn when they are ready because you cannot force growth on anyone. We used to say that you can force a horse to the river by the virtue of your direction but you can't force that horse to drink water when it doesn't want to. That applies to life in all ramifications.
People like doing things when they are ready which is why I've said many times that no one can change another human except that person is fully determined to change after careful examination and consideration. We can point people in the right direction but they would have to go through that route alone...that's the way of life.
A lot of people are not intentional about their growth and that's the sad part. A full-grown man or woman does not know what he or she wants to do with his or her life and had to be checked at every time. It's shameful because we sometimes confuse care and growth. There is a place where you have to care for people but there are times you have to take a step back to be sure they have been learning and can make choices for themselves.
More reasons why some parents force their ways on their children is because those children have shown that they cannot be trusted with an important decision. You went through the whole of the university and your parents have to decide for you what to study for your master's degree? Like, what do you want to do with your life? At this stage of your life, you don't even know what you want that would influence your course of study for a higher degree? What are you doing with your life?
Situations like this get me angry hahahaha pardon me and I am passionate about subjects like this when people just choose to waste precious opportunities like this. You are not even 19 or 20 yet they had to decide your life for you even to the things you do in your closet. That's not growth and that person is going to have it tough when his or her major decision-makers finally stop giving it for whatever reasons and whatever ways that life might come at them.
No one can trust you when you are always indecisive. Your friends won't even trust you to get things done without looking over their shoulders. We all have the capacity for growth but growth has to be intentional. No one can force growth on you except you are interested in growing. Even when life happens, most people would rather look for who to blame than allow the lessons to flow so that they can grow.
When people, especially parents notice how incapable a child is regarding making serious decisions, this is when they grow in influence and try to control every aspect of that child's life. They would determine the kind of job that child would take to the kind of place he or she would live and to make it worse, they would determine for that child the kind of partner to get married to. Can you blame them? Obviously, we can't, because they can't commit such an important decision into the hands of such a child because he or she has never proven himself or herself to them in any way that would make them trust that child.
Most people go through life seeking approval from others. They want to do things the way people like it forgetting that their own life and choices matter too. How can you live your life trying to please others? You are making the well being of others important where your life is concerned? A lot of people have become secondary characters in their life's story whereas they are supposed to be the lead actor in it.
You were not made to seek the approval of others. You can learn from others but whatever you have learnt from them has to be carefully examined before actions can be taken and no one can make and should make those choices for you. Most people would rather want others to make choices for them because when things go wrong, it would be easier to blame others than themselves. They failed to understand that whatever choices we make or we allow others to make for us, we are the ones to bear the consequences of it and not those who made those choices for us.
Be in charge of your life and make your decisions even when it's not a popular opinion to others. It doesn't have to be, anyway, because it's your life and not theirs. Be open to learning but after careful considerations, be the one to make your decisions not based on the pressure but because you feel good about it. We all need to show growth and maturity at some point so we can influence the world the way we should. If you can't even decide things on your own, how can others commit their lives or business or properties into your hands?
Thank you for your time.
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That's a lot of questions consolidated in one post haha.. I have been through all these phases and I know when I say never leave control over your life into other's hands.. dammit I realized late... ughh.. great post dear