Mutual Help Is Needed, II.

You can read the first part here.

Image Source.

A lot of times we want to do things because we have seen others do them without knowing why they did them. Her sister's husband she spoke about that bought the clothes for her parents... yes he did, but she forgot that her own sister was the one that did other things she needed for herself like her clothing items just to ease the guy of the burden but this lady wanted her own guy to buy for her, her parents and still buy for himself. Some ladies can send guys to an early grave with unrealistic demands 😂🤣. Why not then wait till you people are better equipped to do it? I still blame the guy too.

Often we put ourselves in situations we are not supposed to find ourselves as a man. We are easily confused by the love that we fail to think deeper into the reality of things and this is not gendered specific. It is disappointing when someone couldn’t make a decision by thinking ahead and is being pushed around. If you can’t make decisions at crucial stages, how then can you make one when situations get more intense during the marriage?

A lot of people only think of the wedding and not the marriage so they squandered everything they have on one day's event. How would they intend to survive during the marriage? A wedding is different from marriage... the wedding is the ceremony while marriage is the aftermath of the ceremony, a journey of reality. A lot of problems we find ourselves, we orchestrated by playing catch up so early on in marriage and when things don’t change as fast as we expected, the love begins to grow cold. Planning is needed before any step or decision should be taken...

I told her that she knows he is to get all the things she needs, with his own, and now the two parents and she said she knows and that is why he is a man. She said if he is not ready to do all that, then he is not ready for marriage. I shook my head in disbelief as to why someone would utter such words just because she wants to have her way.

I asked her what she was doing for the wedding and she kept quiet. Hahaha before she later said, "I am not working". You are not working and you know the salary of your fiancée isn't much yet you are placing pressure on him for marriage and you can't even support him in any way? Where did they raise all these people? Gosh!. So, what have you been doing all these while that you have not been working? Why haven’t you found something else to do? Why can’t you look for a job right now since the wedding is close and contribute the little you can do? Most ladies always want it easy and the guy must be the one to go to extra lengths to satisfy them because they are "ladies". This is why the pressure weighs so much on the guys and I've seen a lot of guys snap and lose it because of this.

Image Source.

I told her she needs to get something to do. I told her to look for the money for her parents’ clothes and buy it while stylishly telling her parents that her boyfriend bought them. I said if her contribution to the marriage is just the clothes for the parents, then she has tried but no, she wants the guy to do everything while she sits down and does nothing...as a lady that she is.

I am so glad this method is changing now because most women I have come to see these days are redefining things. They are moving the world and owning their own. They are breaking away from the old ways and understand that they can trust themselves and their abilities to make wealth too. While these new breeds are daring to be different, some are still, sadly, embracing the old ways and it is expected because not everyone can think the same way.

She just wants to be a wife and wouldn’t bother how the boyfriend comes up with the money. Women like this would push their spouse to do despicable things just to please them and when justice is being served, they will dust themselves and move on to another guy. I even told her she needs to assist him in the little things and she told me, "I am not married to him yet, so I can’t help him now. When I become his wife, then I can start helping him". Newsflash... She's married to him now and she's still not helping him or working...she's just being a wife.

I knew for her not to do it then, she would find another excuse during the marriage not to do it. If I asked her now why she isn't helping again, I am sure she would say she's taking care of the home. Yes, care of the home is good but she forgot she will suffer the effect of this whole thing too.

A relationship requires a lot more than we see. When reality sets in, the love will reduce and the only thing that can make you stick closer and reinvent that love is the value you are adding to each other’s lives. Some problems can be avoided if we can act smart and wise.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

Kindly follow me on Noise.Cash... I am trying to engage more with people and connect with everyone with this account. I look forward to seeing you there... You can say hello to me there so we can get familiarized as well. Click here.