Welcome to the world we live in where everyone is at fault except us. We are quick to point fingers at others and what's not working forgetting our shortfalls. We are as guilty as everyone else and because we sin differently from what you would do doesn't make you less of a culprit either. The difference is just in the magnitude of the offence so you might want to be a bit tender when highlighting the flaws of others.
We are always quick to point fingers at the erroneous ways of others and can't seem to use the same lens and gauge to figure out our own. Most people blame everything else on others even their failures. Most people just don't want to take responsibility for anything.
We have always blamed the government for not making good drainage systems and still when it is fixed you see people dumping things inside it. It is easier to say that they didn't provide dumpsters, right? But who are those that would suffer it in the end? Still us... I think taking responsibility might be a bit easier when we think ahead to know that we are the ones to suffer for it in the end. I am always of the opinion that there is something we can also do at least when they act in their usual nonchalant ways.
There are some things beyond our control and no matter how much we try, we still can't help the situation and that's fine but we can at least improvise. It's easier for a student whose parents couldn't afford a textbook to blame them for his or her failure but it's not because the parents didn't want to but they couldn't afford it. The onus lies on that child to seek the way out. I know it's a lot to ask of a child but while growing up, I've seen many students borrow my textbooks because they couldn't afford it and that's why sometimes I tried to do my assignment way ahead of time because I know there might be someone who would need it.
Most of the time we don't like thinking ahead or seek for alternatives because it is easier to blame others rather than push ourselves to achieve our goals.
It's easier for us to highlight the faults of those who break up with us but we don't seem to think deeply as to what we are also doing wrong.
I had a long conversation with a friend from my former place of work as she was telling me about how uncaring her boyfriend is. I asked her a lot of questions to know how to tackle the issue and I got to know that she wanted the guy to be responsible for all her financial needs and this definitely exhausted the guy and this made him step back and show a bit of uncaring nature towards her.
She was so quick to say all the wrong things the guy did wrong and not until I pointed it to her that she needs to stop seeing the guy as a means to an end before she realized she was also in the wrong. The guy is wrong too because it's a case of clear miscommunication. If she was my girlfriend, I would have spoken my mind to her about what I perceive of her actions and then ask her what she would like to do that can fetch her money on the sidelines since she is still a student.
I understand the angle of the lady too because she isn't getting much support from her parents and she saw her boyfriend as the easy way out forgetting he also has responsibilities lined up for him especially if he is the firstborn of the family. In as much as we want to highlight how others changed, then we need to assess the situation that led to that to fully understand why some people act the way they do. This is why I said we are all at fault in a way but we wouldn't admit ours because it's easier to blame someone else.
I love these two quotes:
"To err is human, to blame another person for your mistake is even more human."
"To err is human and to forgive is divine but when the eraser is wearing out before your pencil, then you are overdoing it a little bit."
We need to be intentional about our progress in life. I know the government has failed us, your parents didn't give you the best of things which made you turn out the way you did because we are a product of our background, I get it but the question remains the same and the answer is eternally variable, "What are you doing about it?". It's foolishness to sit down at the bottom of the mountain and cry when you could summon some courage and take it a step at a time especially when you know you are all alone.
We owe ourselves that much to be the best we can be. No one would hand anything down to us. No one would give us anything without an exchange of value sometimes and we just have to keep fighting. Don't blame a crocodile when you are near the river but yourself. You can't change some things that led to the point you are but you can change things afterwards that would determine how things would be.
"I don't know who my grandfather was but I am determined to know who his grandson would be" - anonymous.
When the odds are stacked against you and there is no help from anywhere else, you just have to get up, carry your cross and get on with life. It's the only way to go as pity won't get you that far. Others may pity you, many people might assist you but if you are not willing to walk the walk, there is nothing significant that would come out of it.
Let me stop right here and I would share the second part of this post tomorrow...
Thank you for your time.
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I was in this conversation with my brother also about how we spend so much time blaming others and not taking the blame, yes the government has a role to play but some people are in our society making ends meet for their selves.
Also, about the girl she needs to realize that her boyfriend isn't her provider and anything he does is shoeing kindness, simple.